UNDERSTANDING THE DYNAMICS OF VICTIMIZATION IN CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE CASES by Wynne Mittledorf Shaw, M.Ed., LPC-S Clinical Supervisor Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center

ABOUT DCAC Our mission is to improve the lives of abused children in Dallas County and provide national leadership on child abuse issues. We use a multidisciplinary team approach, bringing Child Protective Services workers, DPD detectives, Dallas County DA’s, Children’s Medical Center staff, forensic interviewers and therapists together to provide families all the services they need in one location.

ABOUT ME Bachelor’s in Psychology from UT Austin Master’s in Counseling from UNT In the child abuse field 17 years With DCAC 12 years First 8 years working with moms Last 4 years as a supervisor What about you… Law enforce? Prosecutors? Who else?

CONFERENCE GOALS Provide an overview of the dynamics of sexual abuse. Provide an understanding of the cycle of abuse in families. Provide tips for working with families. Provide tools/resources to help families. What else are you hoping to take away from this training?

WHAT IS SEXUAL ABUSE Sexual abuse is the involvement of a child or teenager in any type of sexual activity with an adult or older child. Abuse is always for the pleasure of the perpetrator and always involves coercion or manipulation and secrecy. Lets make sure we are on the same page when talking about CSA.

TYPES OF SEXUAL ABUSE Touching breasts, buttocks or genitals Anal, oral or vaginal penetration Exposing self to child or forcing child to expose themselves Showing a child porn or using a child to produce porn Prostituting or otherwise exploiting child Exposing a child to live sex acts

SEXUAL ABUSE FACTS 1 in 3-4 girls will be abused by age 18. 1 in 5-6 boys will be abused by age 18. Many victims never disclose their abuse. Almost all (90%) abusers are family members or someone close to the child. Abusers manipulate and groom parents as well as the child.

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ABUSE Behavioral Nightmares/sleep problems Trouble with rules Aggression Clingy/whiney Regression Sexual acting out Drug/Alcohol Abuse

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ABUSE Emotional Fear/anxiety Sadness/Depression Poor self-esteem Irritability Anger Guilt/shame/confusion Inability to trust

LONG TERM EFFECTS OF CSA Chronic medical problems Chronic psychiatric/psychological problems Poor relationships Increased risk of further victimization Substance abuse

FAMILY CHARACTERISTICS Poor communication Poor boundaries Role reversal Isolation Extreme parental stress Parental substance abuse Domestic Violence Parental history of abuse

CYCLE OF ABUSE Child is abused Child not believed/ protected Victim’s radar disabled Relationship w/ new abuser Grooms parent & child

GROOMING The process an abuser uses to gain a parent & child’s trust and confuse the child into thinking the abuse is ok. Begins with manipulating the parent Moves to building a relationship with child Exploits the child’s vulnerability Leads to borderline abusive acts Escalates to full blown abuse Frog in a boiling pot analogy.

WHAT ABOUT ABUSERS? Many adult sex abusers witnessed DV as a child. Many adult sex abusers were sexually abused as a child. Many are not true pedophiles. Power and control are often the primary motivation.

WHY KIDS DON’T TELL FEAR, FEAR, FEAR Don’t realize its wrong Of not being believed Of getting in trouble Of perpetrator Of upsetting family Don’t realize its wrong Don’t know how/who to tell Perpetrator told them not to Don’t want to get perpetrator in trouble Its also important to understand that sometimes kids try to tell and feel like they have but the adults they have told cannot understand. Punch on the playground analogy.

RESPONDING TO VICTIMS Stay calm. Assure the child you believe them. Assure the child its not their fault and they are not in trouble with you. Let the child know you will help keep them safe – but don’t make promises Encourage the child to talk about it.

A WORD ABOUT DISCLOSURE Its a process, not a 1x event Isn’t always clear at first Expect delays Initial denial ≠ no abuse Discrepancies ≠ lies Recanting ≠ no case

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND No medical evidence ≠ no abuse Positive feelings for abuser ≠ no abuse Kids think differently than adults Expect family drama and turmoil Kids need extra prep for trial KIDS RARELY LIE ABOUT ABUSE!!!!! Kids lie to get out of trouble.

HOW COULD SHE BE SO BLIND? Abusers are very sneaky. It only takes an instant. Kids work hard to hide abuse. And may even deny abuse. Hindsight is 20/20. Past abuse disables their radar. They never suspected family.

UNDERSTANDING MOM’S REACTION Fear factor!!! Remember Maslow’s hierarchy. Remember the cycle of abuse. Learned helplessness There are losses involved. A mom can be supportive without believing.

HELPING MOMS BELIEVE Don’t demand instant belief and anger. Understand that this is hard to believe. Try not to blame or interrogate. Explain that you believe the child. Explain that mom should not push child for details but can talk about feelings. Provide education and resources. Refer for therapy/professional support.

THE CHILD ABUSE/DV LINK Strong connection between DV and child physical and sexual abuse. Perpetrators of DV also abused children in 70% of cases. Dynamics are similar – power and control. Discovering child abuse is often what motivates DV victims to leave.

THE CHILD ABUSE/SA LINK Strong connection between substance abuse and child physical/sexual abuse. Substance abuse is a factor in 70% of reported child abuse cases. 50-80% of sex offenders abuse alcohol &/or drugs. Parents with SA problems less able to protect children from abuse and less able to support them after abuse occurs.

HOW WILL THIS HELP MY CASE? A parent who has support is more cooperative and supportive of child. A child who feels safe and supported usually gives more info. A child with a supportive parent is less likely to recant and has better recovery. A healthy family looks better at trial.

SEX ABUSE RESOURCES Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center DCAC.org 214-818-2600 Children’s Advocacy Centers of Texas CACTX.org National Children’s Advocacy Center Nationalcac.org

GENERAL RESOURCES Local DA and PD Victim Witness Liaison Texas Dept of Criminal Justice – Victim Services Division www.tdcj.state.tx.us/victim/victim-home.htm or 800-848-4284 Texas Attorney General’s Office Crime Victims Compensation Division National Center for Victims of Crime 800-fyi-call (394-2255) ncvc.org

Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center CONTACT INFO Wynne Shaw Dallas Children’s Advocacy Center 214-818-2655 wshaw@dcac.org