J. Suzanna Laurent Associate Fellow STC First Vice President  Director-Sponsor Region 5  Bylaws Committee Manager  120 Sessions, Programs, Workshops  35 Leadership Articles Published  Region 5 Conference Manager  Distinguished Chapter Service Award  Oklahoma Chapter Achievement Award  ABWA Top Ten Business Woman of U.S. 

Our Agenda Today What is influencing and why does it matter? Do you have high Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? Evaluating your influencing style and what it means Push and pull levers

why does it matter? What is influencing, and

What is influencing? Successful influencing means: Getting a result that meets the legitimate needs of both sides!

What is influencing? Consider these situations: Asking a boss for a raise Presenting your side of the story Dealing with a team member who is underperforming Persuading a colleague to accept your ideas

Why does influencing matter? Because organizations are managed differently now!

How is management different? The middle manager disappeared Lean is mean The rise of the customer Working across organizations The death of authority

Control is pointless Leadership in modern, successful organizations is about persuading, not about telling people what to do or giving orders

What makes an exceptional manager tick?

Influencing and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) What makes outstanding performers? A study done by the Bell Labs “think tank” at Princeton

How do you know when your influencing is successful? It meets the legitimate needs of both sides It gets results that stick!

influencing style? YOUR What is YOUR typical

Typical influencing styles Style A: Dominance Style B: Partnership Style C: Others First Style D: Bargaining Style E: Withdrawing

Style A: Dominance Put your own needs first and take less heed of the needs of others It means speaking up, for example, for a cause that you support Let others know where you stand Use when there isn’t time for debate

Style B: Partnership Place a high value on collaborative approach Outcome meets the needs of all sides Listen to other views Creates long-term relationships Goals defined and important to both

Style C: Others first Place the needs of others high Lose-win style Helps develop other’s confidence Unselfishness in preserving relationship Does not involve deeply held values Creates harmony

Style D: Bargaining Compromise style, give and take Usually a short-term relationship Goals may be unclear 1970s industrial relations—neither side can identify common ground Style for a natural troubleshooter

Style E: Withdrawing Danger in making hasty decision without enough information Able to raise doubts about any proposed solution May see dangers others don’t see Style for naturally cautious influencer

How can you improve your influencing skills? We can tame the savage “persuasion beast,” but like a jungle safari, that change can be scary!

The “pull” skills of influencing Creating rapport Genuine listening Asking questions

Creating rapport Body language says it all Negative Positive Mismatching and matching the other person

Genuine listening Put your effort into understanding the other person first Be prepared to be influenced before you try to influence the other person

Asking questions Lots of questions Open-ended questions Closed questions

The “push” skills of influencing Asking for what you want Saying “no” when appropriate Giving feedback

Asking for what you want Formula for making requests Use the person’s name State your request in a straight- forward manner, using the word “I” Explain why you want it

Asking for what you want Formula for making requests, cont’d. Invite their comments and solutions Ask what resources are needed to make the request happen Agree on the length of time

Saying “no” when appropriate Formula for saying “no” Acknowledge the person’s right to make the request Say “no” straightforwardly Explain your feelings; then give your reasons Suggest an alternative

Giving feedback Feedback is not the same as criticism Giving effective feedback

Receiving feedback To be effective at giving feedback, you must also know how to receive feedback well

YOUR Let’s review YOUR questions

Resources Golden influencing tips on what to do and NOT to do Reading list

Amanda Bradley Within our reach lies every path we ever dream of taking. Within our power lies every step we ever dream of making. Within our range lies every joy we ever dream of seeing, and Within ourselves lies everything we ever dream of being.