Understanding Child Sexual Abuse

Sexual Abuse “Any sexual activity that is deemed inappropriate for the child’s age and maturation level” Field Guide to Child Welfare (1998)

What is Sexual Abuse? Being touched in sexual areas Shown pornography Made to pose for sexual photos Subjected to unnecessary medical treatment Forced to perform oral sex Raped or otherwise penetrated Fondled, kissed, or held in a way that makes a child feel uncomfortable

What is Sexual Abuse? (Cont.) Made to watch sexual acts or look at sexual parts Objectified and ridiculed about child’s body Bathed in a way that feels intrusive to child Encouraged or goaded into sex Involvement in child prostitution or pornography

Recognizing Sexual Abuse Sudden or gradual change in child’s behavior Remember, these same changes can be present in other crises like death or divorce Victims can exhibit a various range of signs, symptoms, & behaviors The following slides list behaviors that may be present in a victim of sexual abuse There is no true sign of sexual abuse Know your child!!

Signs, Symptoms, & Behaviors Avoidance of a specific person Mood & behavioral shifts before & after meeting someone Change in sleep patterns Night sweats and/or nightmares Changes in eating habits Unusual fear of being in a particular area of the house Development of social fears Unusual aggressiveness towards family & friends

Signs, Symptoms, & Behaviors Increased delinquent behaviors in school Sophisticated sexual behavior inconsistent with child age and development Fear of undressing in public Regression of behaviors Unexplained periods of panic Depression Expresses thoughts of suicide & death Increased talk about an older friend

Signs, Symptoms, & Behaviors Bruises or cuts near genital areas Complains of pain while urinating Exhibits signs of genital infections or STDs Sudden increase in health problems Signs of being pregnant Engages in persistent sexual play with others Excessive masturbation

Effects of Sexual Abuse Shame, guilt, & embarrassment Confusion towards family relationships Depression & anxiety Emotional numbness Substance abuse Poor adult relationships Promiscuity Possible sexual abuse of others Gender identity problems Health problems

The Sexual Offender Understanding sexual abuse is difficult. What kind of person would do this? Sex offenders are usually charming, know how to talk to children and teens, select a vulnerable child, plan, wait, groom the child, and lack feeling or concern for the victim. If caught they are sorry they were stopped, not sorry for the harm they caused. Sexual offenders are nearly impossible to identify.

The Sexual Offender Offender is not a “monster” or “dirty old man” 90% of victims know the offender Poor Impulse control Poor social skills in adolescence Low self-esteem Inability to become intimate Lacks empathy

Understanding Lures

Used by strangers, relatives, friends, clergy, and others to trick children Breaks down boundaries in relationships Several lures are often used together Lures change with times and technology Knowledge of lures decreases abuse Increases likelihood child will tell trusted person

The Affection Lure Predators want to become someone the child knows & trusts Children often need attention Predators will befriend a lonely child Predators turns attention into affection Abuse will begin with innocent behavior and gradually progresses

The Assistance Lure Children are helpful in nature Predators will pretend to be lost Or will need help carrying a package Some pretend to be disabled Some will offer to help children

The Pet Lure Often seen in media Easiest & most often used Predator will ask a child for help finding a lost pet Some may even use an exotic animal

The Authority Lure Children are told to obey adults Children are surrounded by authority figures with greater power Predators can be anyone, including people we trust Predators will take advantage of their authority position

The Bribery Lure Children love gifts “Don’t take candy from strangers” Predators use bribes to get children to go willingly May also use bribes to get children to keep quiet

The Ego/Fame Lure Children want to be famous Predators will offer fame & fortune Predators will set up phony auditions or photo shoots

The Emergency Lure People make poor decisions in emergencies Predators will often fake an emergency They will lie and say that their parents have been hurt They may also lie and say that they are in need of help

The Fun & Games Lure Used most often by family members Begins with tickling Leads to “accidental” touching Will tell child that it is part of the game

The Hero Lure Children would love to meet someone famous Predator will pose as a friend of a celebrity They will promise to introduce them

The Job Lure Similar to bribe lure Children are offered money to do a job Job is usually at predators home

The Name Recognition Lure Predator will use the child’s name Name is often on clothing or just overheard Name is seen on cars Predator will pose as a family friend Offer to take them home

The Friendship Lure Predators will use another child as a lure Victim promised that abuse will stop Will get victim to bring a friend May also have victim abuse another child while predator watches

The Threats & Weapons Lure Highly publicized cases Most feared by parents Rarely happens Predator threatens child or family

The Pornography Lure Children are curious about sex Predator will use porn to introduce sex to child Child Porn increases sexual interest Decreases inhibitions XXX

The Computer/Online Lure The internet makes predators anonymous Predators will pretend to be another child They will then introduce the subject of sex A meeting will then be set

The Drug Lure Children are curious about drugs & alcohol Predators will have a party and will offer drugs & alcohol Drugs & alcohol decrease inhibitions

Children need to learn about these lures. They need to identify times of discomfort. They need to tell a trusted person. They need people to listen. When they tell, what is our responsibility to prevent further harm?

Responding to a Child Who Discloses Abuse Don’t overreact Be at eye level with child Listen Don’t interrupt Believe the child Tell them they are not to blame Do not detain child Do not say that you can keep a secret

Reporting Remain calm Don’t overreact Take time to gather your thoughts Write down what happened Have support – such as VASE Coordinator Call CPS or police If abuser is a staff or volunteer notify OVASE within 24 hrs Keep information confidential

Child Curriculum Key Elements Strangers Can look like anyone Anyone you don’t know or trust Family members can be strangers Family members may not be trusted Bathing Suit Zone The parts of the body covered by a bathing suit Helps a child identify the parts of the body that should not be touched Tell, Tell, Tell Encourages a child to tell a trusting adult Keep telling till someone listens

Adolescent Curriculum Key Elements The Law We all have rules to follow Rules in the community are called laws It’s against the law for any adult to have sex with a minor Who are Sexual Predators They look like anyone They usually are not strangers They can be family, friends, coaches, etc. Self-Worth Everyone deserves dignity & respect Sexual abuse takes away dignity & respect

Parent Curriculum Key Elements Never leave Your Child Unattended It only takes a second for a child to be abducted Parents are the main source of protection Incorporate a buddy system Promote Self-Esteem Self-esteem comes from confidence Knowledge builds confidence Allowing a child to say “No” builds confidence Listen to Your Child Communication is vital for protection Parents must listen without being judgmental Allow the child to discuss uncomfortable issues

The Role of the Coordinator of Victim Assistance & Safe Environment

Safe Environment Overview OVASE Coordinator Staff / Volunteer Community We are part of a communication resource

OVASE (210)

If you ever have questions or need support please contact us so we can help. Opening communication helps the healing process.

Rick Zapf Coordinator (830) ext. 35 Fr. Tony Cummins Pastor (830)