Conciliatory Gestures Make Transgressors Seem More Agreeable Mike McCullough Ben Tabak University of Miami Coral Gables, FL

Reconciliation: Friendly Post-Conflict Contact Ringtailed lemur Patas monkey Guinea baboon Rhesus macaque Redfronted lemur Golden monkey Chacma baboon Pigtail macaque Brown capuchin Spectacled langur Stumptail macaque Black macaque Red-bellied tamarin Gelada baboon Longtail macaque Liontail macaque Sooty mangabey Olive baboon Japanese macaque Barbary Macaque Vervet monkey Hamadryas baboon Moor macaque Tonkean Macaque Mountain Gorilla BonoboChimpanzeeHumans Aureli & de Waal, 2000

Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Cross-Cultural Universals? Near-universal (93%) presence of forgiveness and/or reconciliation in a random sample of 60 human societies (McCullough, 2008) Near-universal (93%) presence of forgiveness and/or reconciliation in a random sample of 60 human societies (McCullough, 2008)

“I recently asked a world-renowned American psychologist, who specializes in human aggression, what he knew about reconciliation. Not only did he have no Information on the subject, but he looked at me as if the word were new to him” (De Waal,1989, p. 233)

Explaining Reconciliation in Non- Human Primates Benign Intent (Silk, 2002): Conciliatory gestures (CGs) evolved as inexpensive, inconspicuous signals of desire to resume peaceful relations Benign Intent (Silk, 2002): Conciliatory gestures (CGs) evolved as inexpensive, inconspicuous signals of desire to resume peaceful relations Valuable relations (de Waal, Aureli): CGs evolved because they reassure and reduce anxiety victims’ and aggressors’ post-conflict anxiety, and thus accelerate the re- establishment of valuable (i.e., fitness- enhancing) relations Valuable relations (de Waal, Aureli): CGs evolved because they reassure and reduce anxiety victims’ and aggressors’ post-conflict anxiety, and thus accelerate the re- establishment of valuable (i.e., fitness- enhancing) relations

A “Catalogue” of Human Conciliatory Gestures

ImprovedRelationship Forgiveness or Reconciliation Behavior (V) Conciliatory Gestures (O) Judgments of Value, Safety, & Careworthiness Careworthiness(V)

Agreeableness as a Summary of Value, Safety, and Careworthiness Higher-order trait associated with prosociality, helpfulness, active efforts to avoid conflict, generosity, and trustworthiness Higher-order trait associated with prosociality, helpfulness, active efforts to avoid conflict, generosity, and trustworthiness Agreeable people have more relaxed conflict resolution styles, are less likely to respond aggressively to provocation, and are less frequently the targets of aggression Agreeable people have more relaxed conflict resolution styles, are less likely to respond aggressively to provocation, and are less frequently the targets of aggression Characterized by adjectives such as warm, kind, trusting, appreciative, and cooperative Characterized by adjectives such as warm, kind, trusting, appreciative, and cooperative

Measuring Forgiveness via Self-Report: The Transgression- Related Interpersonal Motivations (TRIM) Inventory Subscale 1: Avoidance Motivation (7 items) “I keep as much distance between us as possible.” “I avoid him/her.” Subscale 2: Revenge Motivation (5 items) “I’ll make him/her pay.” “I want to see him/her hurt and miserable.” Subscale 3: Benevolence Motivation (6 items) “I want us to bury the hatchet.” “I want us to have a positive relationship again.” Scale alphas >.85. Scale scores range from 1-5. We use a Rasch-derived measure that combines all 18 items. 0 = lowest theoretical value, 10 = one logit of difficulty.

Transgressor Agreeableness may Mediate the Conciliation-Forgiveness Association

Measuring Reconciliation “Behavior”

Reconciliation Behavior Conciliatory Gestures Transgressor Agreeableness.31*.27*.32*

Conciliatory Gestures, Agreeableness, and Forgiveness: A Longitudinal Look 164 (54 male, 110 female) undergraduates, (M age = 19.6) 164 (54 male, 110 female) undergraduates, (M age = 19.6) Experienced an interpersonal transgression within nine days of beginning the study (Range = 0-9 days, M = 4.37) Experienced an interpersonal transgression within nine days of beginning the study (Range = 0-9 days, M = 4.37) Completed up to 21 repeated TRIM measures Completed up to 21 repeated TRIM measures We used Rasch models to generate a unidimensional measure of forgiveness based on the TRIM We used Rasch models to generate a unidimensional measure of forgiveness based on the TRIM LGCMs to estimate initial status and rate of linear change for every person, then associated those latents with Conciliatory Gestures and the Big Five (John, Donahue, and Kentle, 1991) LGCMs to estimate initial status and rate of linear change for every person, then associated those latents with Conciliatory Gestures and the Big Five (John, Donahue, and Kentle, 1991)

Transgressor Agreeableness may Mediate the Conciliatory Gestures-Forgiveness Association *p <.05 Sobel test statistic = -2.23, p <.05.

Conclusions Apologies, compensation, and behavioral and expressive indices of remorse and contrition “hang together” in receivers’ perceptions Apologies, compensation, and behavioral and expressive indices of remorse and contrition “hang together” in receivers’ perceptions These conciliatory gestures seem to facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation, measured via self- report and behaviorally These conciliatory gestures seem to facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation, measured via self- report and behaviorally These effects may be mediated by their intermediate effects on victims’ perceptions of transgressors’ agreeableness These effects may be mediated by their intermediate effects on victims’ perceptions of transgressors’ agreeableness Thus, CGs may work by making transgressors seem like safer and more valuable relationship partners Thus, CGs may work by making transgressors seem like safer and more valuable relationship partners

Interested in reading more? The speaker recommends... San Francisco, Jossey-Bass (March, 2008) THANKS!