Infatuation A Guide to Healthy Relationships Lesson 2 Building Relationships on a solid foundation

How many of you want rotten relationships? – Raise your hand if you want to be in a rotten marriage someday. – Most people want to end up in a good-great relationship, but may not know how. – What are the key ingredients?

Just like your favorite cookie recipe has a list of ingredients and a set of steps to follow so do healthy relationships. Identify some key ingredients in HEALTHY relationships

Class List of Ingredients words

Infatuation The first kind of love that most people experience. It is an intense emotional involvement that begins with a sudden, strong attraction of things; sense of humor, self-confidence, physical appearance. Infatuation is very powerful and very real!

Signs of Infatuation Want to spend every minute together Want to share their feelings with each other Emotionally immersed in each other and overwhelmed by their emotions Partners focus on how the relationship can help them meet their needs and not on their partners

Infatuated “Love is Blind” It is self-centered It is unrealistic See what you want to see (undesirable traits are overlooked) It’s a love of “being in love” Rose Colored Glasses

Infatuation does not mean…. Your feelings are not real, they are. Your feelings may not turn into “real love” Your feelings will turn into “real love” You have been or are sexually active, but that is often the case. – Remember the 3 tiered pyramid from earlier. Now Compare

Inverted Pyramid

Let’s Compare…. Which foundation is more likely to result in a stable, long lasting relationship?

Information All Teens Should Know Most first-time sexual relationships are romantic but short-lived. 8 out of 10 first-time sexual relationships last six months or less. ¼ are one time occurrences. Surveys of sexually active teens reveal that the majority wish they’d waited. More than 7 out of 10 girls and more than 5 out of 10 boys surveyed say this. The Centers for Disease Control collects data on teens every two years on sexual and other behaviors. The number of teens who have had sexual intercourse has declined 14% in the last decade. 47% percent of 15 to 19-year-old teens report they have had sexual intercourse. These are averages and obviously there are significant differences among different teens.

Information All Teens Should Know We also know from surveys that boys show significant respect—though often unspoken—for girls who resist pressure to have sex and remain virgins. And, girls have respect for guys who are not “players.” Many teens believe it is okay for a couple to have sex if they feel they are in love. The problem here is that the “feelings” of love may not yet be real love. The “love chemicals” could be surging, it could be more about lust and less about love. Further, one could have an unrealistic concept of what real love really is.

Brain Chemistry? Love Chemicals? When you are with the person you are attracted to you are: – In an altered state of consciousness – Overcome with amphetamine-like neurotransmitters that trigger incredible side effects – Essentially, in a “drugged” feeling state of mind Can prevent you from seeing things clearly. Give it time, these chemicals will disappear over time, allowing you to see the relationship more clearly

Is It Love? Is it Infatuation?