Assistant/Associate Principals’ & Deans’ Statewide Mentoring Meeting Tuesday, September 15, 2015

 Grow your professional network;  Ensure familiarity with SAI’s Mentoring and Induction program resources and expectations;  Process what has contributed to a successful start to the school year;  Consult with colleagues regarding a leadership challenge;  Discuss pertinent legal issues;  Exchange quality, preferred resources;  Gain insight from practicing principals regarding effective practices in discipline;  Identify strategies and practices for dealing with difficult people; and  Adopt a strategy/ies to improve leadership-life fit. Outcomes:

Links  Resources : mentoring.cfm  Resource Smackdown:  Evaluation :  Mentoring Matters:

 Name  School/District  Your building’s focus for professional learning (a word or phrase) Welcome!!

SAI Mentoring and Induction

As you reflect on these first few weeks of school, what has contributed to your successful start? What has been challenging? Grounding Activity

Break ! Grow your professional network— choose a new table!

Learning Community: Leadership Dilemma Consultancy

Protocol  Leader who has traveled the farthest will be the first presenter  Timekeeper/facilitator will be the person to the left of the presenter  Presenter shares an overview of the dilemma and poses his/her focus question. 3 MINUTES

Protocol  Consultancy Group asks clarifying questions – those with brief, factual answers.  Consultancy Group asks probing questions:  Worded to help presenter clarify and expand his/her thinking about the dilemma presented to the group.  Help presenter analyze the dilemma. 3 MINUTES

Protocol  Consultancy Group talks with each other about the dilemma presented while the presenter listens and takes notes:  What did we hear?  What didn’t we hear that might be relevant?  What assumptions seem to be operating?  What questions does the dilemma raise for us?  What do we think about the dilemma?  What might we do or try if faced with a similar dilemma? What have we done in similar situations? 5 MINUTES

Protocol  Presenter reflects on what he/she heard and on what he/she is now thinking, sharing with the group anything that particularly resonated during the consultancy. 5 MINUTES  Rotate to second presenter. Rotate

Legal Update and Scenarios Matt Carver, SAI

Lunch ! Grow your professional network— choose a new table!

Resource Smackdown

Modified Discussion Panel: Masterful Discipline

Welcome, Experts!! Elementary  Travis Busby, Ankeny  Kelly Rohlf, North Scott  Genie Wickham, Glenwood Secondary  Bryan Stearns, West Des Moines  Tom Scallon, Norwalk  Darren Erickson, Pleasant Valley

Dealing Productively with Difficult People Dana Schon, SAI

Six Stinkers  Wes Whiner  Donna Drama Queen  Negative Ned  Nancy Know-it-All  Betsy Bully  Rick Resister

Wes Whiner Wes’s World  He’s the only one who works hard.  His glass is half empty.  He’s the school martyr. Working with Wes  Listen to his complaints/concerns (one-on- one).  Assure him you value his work.  Help him problem-solve as needed.  Empower him with the leadership to create his own solution to be shared with you according to your timeline.

Donna Drama Queen Donna’s World  She’s the only one with things going on in her world.  The world revolves around her. (loves the limelight)  She has a victim mindset.  Lives by hyperbole – exaggerates everything. Dealing with Donna  Be direct.  Have the hard conversation.  Maintain your own emotional composure.

Negative Ned Ned’s World  Struggles to see the positive in anything.  Attacks even the best of ideas.  Holds a generally pessimistic outlook. Navigating Ned  Be clear with Ned about his negative attitude and behavior and the impact he has on the school.  Clearly communicate your expectations moving forward.

Nancy Know-it-All Nancy’s World  Struggles with being wrong.  Always has an opinion.  Can’t help correcting everyone else.  Enamored with her the sound of her own voice. Navigating Nancy  Be empathetic. Her behavior may stem from confidence issues.  Utilize her strengths.  Be strategic in how you group her with other staff/teams.  Have the difficult conversation as needed.  Invite her to consider how she might engage others in the conversation and processing.

Betsy Bully Betsy’s World  Gains enjoyment from tormenting others.  Undermines the work of others.  Puts others down to make them feel small.  Spreads gossip and rumors. Dealing with Betsy  Have the hard conversation immediately.  Be sure through your modeling and behavior that your staff know bullying behavior is not tolerated.  Be prepared to deliver serious consequences including termination.

According to a nationwide poll by the Employment Law Alliance: 45% of American workers say they’ve experienced workplace abuse. 40% of workplace bullies are women, and women bullies pick on other women more than 70% of the time. Female bullies want to undermine, berate and intimidate the weaker woman in their midst.

Rick Resister Rick’s World  Lack of confidence: Who wants to try when failure seems inevitable?  Arrogance: “I don’t need to change. Others have the problem.”  Bitterness: “I haven’t been treated right so I’m not going along with your plan.”  Lack of passion: It’s not important.  Negative history: “I’ve tried before and it didn’t work.”  Defeatism: What’s the use.  Fear of failure: “I’ll be embarrassed if I try and fail.” Working with Rick  Listen! Listen! Listen!  Ask questions.

 Listening validates value. When you listen to someone, you tell them their journey matters.  Listening restores humanity. Organizational life is often filled with instructions and directives that treat people like robots. “Just do what you’re told.” The more you tell people what to do the less human they feel.  Listening allows exploration. You can’t solve another’s resistance. They must explore and solve it themselves. Listen, Listen, Listen

 If you took a step forward, what would it look like?  What’s important about not moving forward?  What’s important about moving forward?  What imperfect behavior would you like to try?  What’s important about keeping things the same?  How might you keep things the same and try something new?  What happens if you do nothing?  What would you like me to ask you the next time we meet?  What obstacles have you overcome in the past? How might that apply here?  Who might be helpful? Working with Rick Resistor

Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations Our lives are a series of relationships, the success or failure of which happen one conversation at a time. Extraordinary leadership is the result of having fierce conversations with ourselves first and then with others. Only then can any of us hope to provide the caliber of leadership that our organizations need and desire.

Hard conversations are about being true to oneself, doing what is right for students, and shaping an environment that supports learning. ~Jennifer Abrams

What hard conversation aren’t you having?  What is bothering you?  Why is it bothering you?  Why haven’t you said anything yet?  What might you give up if you say something?  What is the worst thing that could happen?

Why do we avoid hard conversations? 1.Desire to please – to be liked and respected REALIZE: The nice thing to do IS speak up! 2.Personal safety-avoid physical/emotional pain-- scary/aggressive colleague REALIZE: Only civil, respectful dialogue is acceptable— focus on that to remain calm as you communicate this expectation to others

Why do we avoid hard conversations? 3.Personal Comfort—no waves, not worth hassle REALIZE: Short term personal discomfort for me will likely pale in comparison to long-term gains for everyone 4.Fatigue – I don’t have enough energy/emotion left to keep fighting this one REALIZE: This tired, tired feeling is what some students experience daily as they face this situation—it is worth it on their behalf to say something!

Why do we avoid hard conversations? 5.No Sense of Urgency—Don’t make a big deal, give it time REALIZE: Trust your gut/the hair on your neck/your inkling—gather data 6.Waiting for the perfect time—when is there enough in the emotional bank account that you can withdraw to be able to give feedback that might be considered critical? REALIZE: Don’t over think it! Give yourself a timeline to plan the conversation and a deadline to have it!

Why do we avoid hard conversations? 7.Worried about overwhelming someone who is already struggling REALIZE: Our job is to protect and serve students. We might consider how we can help the teacher improve so that he/she feels less rather than more overwhelmed. 8.It’s a small town, and we all know each other. REALIZE: Ask yourself how like it is that your hard conversation will have lasting consequences on your relationship, and remind yourself if you are speaking up on behalf of students, it’s worth it.

Why do we avoid hard conversations? 9.He’s a nice person./She didn’t mean it. REALIZE: Consider stepping up onto the balcony. What would you see as an outside observer in this situation?

3 principles:  Get Clear  Craft  Communicate

The majority of the work in any difficult conversation is work you do on yourself.

On your planning tool…

Get Clear!  What language can you “borrow” to make your conversation more focused and less subjective?  What does the job description say (classified employees)?  What do the standards say (teachers)?  What do staff, student, parent, and/or volunteer handbooks say?

Make a Plan  Identify what you would like to see.  Consider what the teacher will need to make it happen.  Consider what you will need to do to support the teacher and what resources you may need to make available.

Hold the conversation… 1.Set the tone and purpose 2.Get to the point and name it professionally (avoid judgment and adjectives) 3.Give specific examples—share ONE or TWO of the most current 4.Describe the effect of this behavior on the school, colleagues, students 5.State your wish to resolve the issue and open the discussion

Angie, your content knowledge about history is second to none, and your passion for the subject is evident. (Set Tone). We need to figure out how to get students more actively engaged in your class. (Get to the point). In the last few observations, I have noted that 75% of your students are on their phones. During one observation, I noted students were copying notes from the power point, but when I asked each of 5 students what they were learning, each essentially said, “I don’t really know. I’m just writing down what’s up there.” (Specific Examples).

The problem is that the students need to know this content so that they can be successful on your assessments. They need time and opportunity to process the information and to provide you with feedback so that you will know if they have learned. (Describe the effect of the behavior). To structure more discussion and gather more feedback from students represents a shift for you. What do you think? (Invite the conversation)

Investigative Starts:  "I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.  "I’d like to talk about ____________ with you, but first I’d like to get your point of view."  "I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?"  "I am beginning to think...  What’s your take on _______ ?

Getting Started:  "I think we have different perceptions about _____________________. I’d like to hear your thinking on this."  "I’d like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different ideas on how to _____________________."  "I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.”

A few tips…  Acknowledge emotional energy – yours and theirs – and direct it towards a useful purpose.  Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.  Don’t take verbal attacks personally. Help your partner come back to center.  Don’t assume they can see things from your point of view.  Practice the conversation with a mentor/colleague before holding the real one.  Mentally practice the conversation. See various possibilities and visualize yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you’re hoping for.

Leadership-life Fit: The Myth of Multi-tasking Dana Schon, SAI

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The Eisenhower Box What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important. ~Dwight Eisenhower, 34 th President of the United States

You can do anything once you stop trying to do everything.

Upcoming learning opportunities: Evaluation: Final Thoughts & Evaluation

Upcoming learning opportunities: Evaluation: Final Thoughts & Evaluation