Kin 100W Fall 2009

Outline  Use a cluster outline  Use the outline to develop your ideas; thoughts; organization of the essay

Trust Yourself  Confidence

Organization of the Essay  Introduction statement including a statement that captures or summarizes the body of the essay  Body of the essay  Develop 2-4 ideas related to the issues (Intellectual, Social, Physical)  Summary and Conclusion

Examples of Introduction Statements  There are many reasons that a Kinesiology major is vital to SJSU’s program and I would like to present the two most critical for you to consider.  On behalf of the faculty, staff, and students in the Department of Kinesiology I ask that you reconsider your decision to eliminate Kinesiology as a major.  Kinesiology majors will educate people about healthy active lifestyles; they will aid in prevention and cure injuries.

When to use or not to use capitals  Use capitals when it’s a proper name as in Department of Kinesiology  Do not use capitals as in when you are generally referring to a field such as kinesiology, athletic training, physical therapy….  The occupations of athletic trainers, exercise specialists, and physical educators do not need to be capitalized.

Issues of Agreement  What about having a child with a disability who is not able to have his or her physical needs met at school because nobody is trained to handle their disability.  Be sure to address the reader and inform them that you are aware of the situation.  These athletes are having double, sometimes even triple days and their bodies soon cannot function how it needs to.  When a coach would like to improve an athlete’s swing in baseball, or a spike in volleyball they turn to our biomechanists.

Punctuation  Only use punctuation that you know how to use  Period  Comma  Question Mark  Semi-colon  Colon  Exclamation Point

Selection of Adjectives  Huge  Sharp (as in minds)

Attempt to reduce marginalizing of groups  Do not use handicapped people but rather people with disabilities or differently abled  …even if we are in a wheelchair or bed ridden  Do not use elderly but rather older adult  Do not use elders but rather older adults  Them – who are they?

Don’t make assumptions  Some students pay their own way  Physical educators in kinesiology will provide children and adults with the understanding and value of physical activity in one’s life.  Without kinesiology, our world of people will only get bigger and die a lot faster.  Almost everyone in America has had some sort of experience through sports.  It is obvious how great a role that athletics plays in the university.

Beware of Colloquial Expressions  Turn a blind eye  Black hole  On the road  Skyrocketing

 Do not use “etc”  It adds nothing to the argument in terms of depth.

To prove  Do not use the verb  Things don’t prove other things

Proofread!!!

Beware of Meaningless Ideas  This is real depressing to see  SJSU’s Kinesiology Department is known for its different emphases, with each one playing a vital role on moving the major forward and into a new light.  Design a facility like the School of Business, or the School of Nursing.

Use of Effect/Affect  Effect = noun  What are the effects of eating on weight gain?  An effect of overeating is an increase in weight.  What do you think about the effect of carbohydrate intake on weight distribution?  Affect = verb  How does eating affect weight gain?  Overeating affects weight increases.  How does carbohydrate intake affect weight distribution?

Articles  The  Use “the” when you are referring to a specific thing, object, or person.  She is the person I was referring to when I was on the phone the other day.  Can you tell me which of the candidates you are planning to vote for?  A (An)  I’m not sure which candidate I will vote for but I know I will vote for a candidate.  A car is necessary if you live outside of NY and there isn’t very good public transportation.  Remove the or a where possible  Getting rid of this major will also mean getting rid of coaches and teachers that are there to inform the students about exercise and how important it is to be active. ----

Don’t use contractions  Don’t  Won’t  Can’t  Shouldn’t  It’s

It’s vs Its  It’s  Does this read as it is?  Its  Is this possessive?

Remove all pronouns  I  You  He  She  They  We

Passive Writing Styles  Attempt to reduce use of passive structure  It is no secret that there is an overwhelming problem in our society that we, as Americans, are suffering from an obesity problem.

Specificity in writing  This  These  Those  Them  They

Incomplete Sentences and Run-on Sentences  Whether it be participating or spectating.  Lastly how this information is affecting our society.