Part Two Deejay Nelson Bryan Ochocki Megan Dehority Tracy Buchanan Getting Past No Part Two Deejay Nelson Bryan Ochocki Megan Dehority Tracy Buchanan

Don’t Reject: Reframe To Change the Game, Change the Frame Ask Problem-Solving Questions Ask “Why” Ask “Why Not” Ask “What if” Reframe Tactics Go around stone walls Deflect attacks Expose tricks

Don’t Reject: Reframe Negotiate About the Rules of the Game Bring it up Negotiate about the negotiation The Turning Point

Don’t Push: Build Them a Golden Bridge After you have successfully… Suspended your reactions Defused the other side’s emotions Reframed their position You are ready for agreement.

Obstacles to Agreement Lack of interest Vague statements Delays Reneging on agreement NO

Four Common Reasons for Resistance Not their idea-“it wasn’t invented here” Unmet interests- may be overlooking your counterparts basic interests Fear of losing face- no one wants to look bad to constituents Too much too fast- prospect of agreement may seem overwhelming

Build a Golden Bridge Draw the other side in the direction you want them to move Mediate your own agreement Start from wherever the other person is Building the golden bridge helps them overcome the reasons for resistance

Steps to Build a Golden Bridge Involve the Other Side Satisfy Unmet Interests Help Them Save Face Go Slow Go Fast

Involve the Other Side Ask for and build on their ideas Ask for constructive criticism Offer them a choice- (alternatives) Chinese Proverb: “Tell me, I may listen. Teach me, I may remember. Involve me, I will do it.”

Satisfy Unmet Interests Don’t dismiss them as irrational Don’t overlook basic human needs Don’t assume a fixed pie Look for high benefit, low cost trades Use and If-Then formula

Help them Save Face Help them back away without backing down Show how circumstances have changed Ask for third party recommendation Point to a standard of fairness- (market value) Help them write their victory speech- let both sides share the credit

Go Slow to Go Fast Guide them step-by-step Pause at each step to sum up progress Don’t ask for final commitment until the end Don’t rush to the finish

Don’t Escalate: Use Power To Educate Use power to bring closure without a costly fight Use power constructively rather than destructively How to overcome the power paradox

Consequences of the No Agreement Ask critical and testing questions “What do you think will happen if we don’t agree?” “What do you think I will do?” “What will you do?” Warn, don’t threaten Direct statement of what will happen, before proceeding with your BATNA Demonstrate your BATNA

Use your BATNA, Diffuse their Reaction Deploy your BATNA without provoking Use the minimum amount of power to return to negotiating Neutralize their attack by not striking back

Third Parties Use the other side’s constituents Use a third party as a mediator

Keep Sharpening Their Choice Always leave a way out for the other side Final choice must be the other parties to pick the agreement or not Always negotiate even when you have the advantage

After Successful Negotiation: Forge Lasting Agreement Minimize risks Have dispute procedures in place Leave the negotiation on a good note

Turning Adversaries Into Partners Your greatest power is the power to change the game from face-to-face confrontation to side-by- side joint problem solving. You don’t have to take no for an answer. The breakthrough strategy is designed to destroy your adversaries by turning them into your negotiating partners.