DR CAROL COOPER IMBA Individuality in Twins & Multiples 1
How to get there? 2
No multiples are truly identical Not even if MZ * DNA * Genes not always switched on * Blood flow * Other pre-birth factors * Irises & fingerprints. 3
Why individuality matters Social skills Language development Healthy competition Behaviour School performance Rewards of parenting Adolescence Adulthood. 4
What we’re up against Humans designed to have one baby at a time Twins & more are cute People are fascinated Popular expectations The “twins-switch”. 5
Start before the birth Prepare the family Get your priorities sorted Choose names carefully Clothes, etc. 6
Is this really ‘William S. Clemens’? “My twin and I got mixed up in the bath-tub when we were two weeks old and one of us was drowned, but we didn’t know which. Some think it was Bill and some think it was me. One of us had a peculiar mark – a large hole on the back of his left hand, but that was me. That was the one that was drowned”. 7
After they arrive Telling them apart Try not to label Try not to lump Use their names Make eye contact Speak to each baby individually Using the other senses, eg touch. 8
As they grow up Address separately and give attention Eye contact Reading to each child Own clothes Own space Own toys Own birthday cards/presents. 9
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It’s not available in stores Need for independence Exploring Creative play Feeding themselves Dressing themselves Other tasks; “being big” Chances to be alone. 11
“Why, Mummy?” Try not to address one child all the time (or first) Be patient! Repeat as necessary. 12
Life is unfair Clothes Toys Gifts Friends School Growth and health 13
What about the rest of the world? Other influences on your child Grandparents/rest of family Nursery/preschool Teachers Friends Outside activities. 14
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Some resources Twins & Multiple Births – the essential parenting guide (Carol Cooper) Emotionally Healthy Twins – a new philosophy for parenting two unique children (Joan A Freidman) Parenting School-age Twins & Multiples (Christina Baglivi Tinglof) Covers school- years. 16