Paramedic Method Adapted from Richard Lanham’s Revising Prose

“Official Style” Bureaucratic – obscures the true meaning of what you want to say Noun-heavy. Covers up the real action Example: “There can be little doubt that contending with the problem of overpopulation in the halls of River Dell is one thing every freshman needs to learn how to do.”

Warning Signs that YOU write this way!!! Prepositions (of, on, in, with, etc.) often hide the real action and produce monotonous rhythms. “Is” forms (is, are, was, be) often signal a passive voice, which hides the performer of an action Your teacher tells you to work on clarity of expression or writes “AWK” on your papers.

Prepositions Too many prepositions can drain all the action out of a sentence. Get rid of the prepositions, and find a strong active verb to make the sentence direct.

Example Original: In this passage is an example of the use of metaphors in Shakespeare’s writing. Revised: This passage illustrates Shakespeare’s metaphoric writing.

Prepositions Highlight any prepositions that you see in the sentences Aim to have 2 in a sentence. See the prepositions list on your course handouts tab

Eliminate “is” forms Using “is” in a sentence gets it off to a slow start, and makes the sentence weak. Replace as many “to be” verbs with action verbs as you can, and change all passive voice (“is defended by”) to an active voice (“defends”).

Ask “Where’s the action?” As Lanham writes, “Who’s kicking who?” Write active verbs – avoid passive verbs Original: Burning books is considered censorship by some people. Revised: Some people consider burning books censorship. Original: The theory of relativity isn't demonstrated by this experiment. Revised: This experiment does not demonstrate the theory of relativity.

Start Fast Avoid the “Blah, Blah is that” openings. Amputate mindless preludes Examples: My point is that What I mean is that What I have argued here is that What has surprised me the most is that…

Exceptions “Is” can signal simple existence. There will be no other word for this. Everything in moderation. When it sounds “right”

Sentence Lengths Variety over monotony Long sentences for information Short sentences for emphasis Form should follow content: In sentences and paragraphs, put important information in visible places.