The Paramedic Method: How to Revive and Polish Your Writing

Richard Lanham developed the Paramedic Method in his text, Revising Prose, as a means of writing clearer, more concise statements that eliminate unnecessary words, the passive voice, redundancies, and unoriginal language. There are two methods of practicing the Paramedic Method, one which involves some knowledge of parts of a sentence (prepositions, verbs, subject, etc.), and another that is more based on your intuition, reliance on punctuation, and natural stops in the sentence to divide it into parts.

Method 1: Seven Steps Take the original sentence and: 1.Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into) 2.Draw a box around the "is" verb forms 3.Ask, "Where's the action?" 4.Change the "action" into a simple verb 5.Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom) 6.Eliminate any inactive phrasing that can be replaced with an active verb (i.e. “a demonstration” becomes “demonstrates”) 7.Eliminate any redundancies.

Example of the Seven-Step Method:

Use the seven step method to correct the following sentence. A solution is proposed on the next slide: Original: Many long and wordy sentences that can be found in essay papers can be shortened to be more clear and concise for the reader to understand what the writer is trying to say.

Revision goes here

Method 2: Intuitive Method Original: “In the past decade, the world of personal computers and the internet has come into our living rooms.”  Use intuition and punctuation to divide up the sentence into parts: a)“In the past decade” b)“the world of personal computers and the internet” c)“has come into” d)“our living rooms”

 Now substitute each of these separate phrases with a more concise or interesting phrase. You may use a Thesaurus or Dictionary to find substitute words. a)“In the past decade”: The writer is suggesting a time in the near present. Either a specific date can be used, or words indicating the recent past/near present: 1. “Recently” 2. “Since 2001”

b) “the world of personal computers and the internet”: notice that this is somewhat of a redundancy. A person cannot use the internet without a computer, so the writer needs an umbrella term that encompasses both ideas. Many students will want to pick “technology” here, but remember that microwaves and DVDs are forms of technology. Something more specific is needed: 1. “computer technology”—this encompasses both “personal computers” and “the internet” listed in the original sentence

c) “has come into”: this is the verb phrase. Notice that whenever a verb phrase with “to have + verb” or “to be + verb” is used, it can usually be substituted with something more original. Verbs that mean “to come into” = enter, invade, pierce, infiltrate, breach, break in, make way into  Notice that some of these verbs will still required the student to use a to be or to have compliment (“has broken into” or “is making its way into”). Try to avoid those, and stick with verbs that can stand alone. The verb sets the sentence’s tone, so pick a verb that best represents how you, the writer, might feel about the idea being expressed in that sentence. The context of this example will be addressed on the next slide!

d) “our living rooms”: Does the writer mean that computers are literally in the living room? Likely, s/he is referring to “our homes” or “our lives.” Why did s/he choose “living room?” Probably because her feelings about computers in the home is reflected here! Think for a moment: “Living rooms” are usually designed as family meeting spaces. Are computers/the internet generally used for entire families to spend time together, or are they more used by individuals? If you feel they are family-oriented, you’ll want to pick a positive verb like “entered.” If you feel they are solitary and being used in a family room, you may pick a more threatening verb like “invaded.” Context tells us a lot about which verb to choose!

Putting it all together: Take the pieces you dissected and revised, and now reassemble them into a new and more exciting sentence! Original: In the past decade, the world of personal computers and the internet has come into our living rooms. (18 words) Revision 1: Computer technology invaded our homes after (7 words) Revision 2: Recently, computer technology entered our lives. (6 words)

Practice 1: Revise the following sentence using the either method. The sentence has already been divided into parts for this first attempt by using the intuitive method. A suggested answer is proposed on the next slide. Original: “The first step in a police investigation is for police to ask questions to the parents and children in a family to find out what happened.” 1.“The first step” 2.“in a police investigation” 3.“for police” 4.“is to ask questions” 5.“to the parents and children in a family” 6.“to find out what happened”

1. “The first step”: First, initially 2. “in a police investigation” (make inactive phrases active verb phrases—be sure to pick a verb that implies the proper tone and context!): police investigate, police interrogate, police question 3. “for police”: (eliminate, since combined with part 2 above) 4. “is to ask questions”: (eliminate, since combined with parts 2 and 3 above) 5. “to the parents and children in a family”: family members (eliminate excessive detail) 6. “to find out what happened”: to gather clues, to determine facts (again, replace an inactive phrase with an exciting verb phrase) Original: The first step in a police investigation is for police to ask questions to the parents and children in a family to find out what happened. (26 words) Revision: Initially, police question the family members to gather clues. (9 words)

Practice 2

Practice 3