Style Jennifer A. Bennett Sanderson High School Raleigh, North Carolina Wake County Public School System

Style Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. William Strunk, Jr., Elements of Style

Voice  Definition: the relationship between the subject and verb in a sentence  Analysis: Is the subject of the sentence performing the action of the verb or being performed upon?

Active Voice  Definition: when the subject performs the action of the verb in a sentence  Example: John drove the car. John (the subject) performed the driving (the verb).  Effects: Direct and clear Strong and concise

Passive Voice  Definition: when the subject receives the action of the verb in a sentence  Example: The car was driven by John. Grammatical subject is the car (not John), and it is receiving the driving (action of the verb), not doing it.  Effects: No direct action Weak; possibly anonymous ○ The car was driven. By whom? Wordy

Passive Voice is... Anonymous  The closet has been ransacked, and my favorite hoodie was taken by my sister.  Mom, the window was broken!  The alleged incidents were leaked to the press.

Passive Voice is Boring  “The meeting will be called to order, the minutes will be read by the secretary, and the treasurer’s report will be given.”  “The meeting was interrupted by the appearance of a lion. An attempt was made to form a barricade with the furniture. Members were told to remain calm. One was eaten, and the police were called.”

Identifying Passive Voice (Clues)  No direct action (100%) : The grammatical subject of the sentence is not doing anything.  Grammatical formula (90-95%): Form of the verb “to be” + the past participle of another verb Past participle: verb that ends in –en or –ed Present participle: verb that ends in –ing (voice tense) Examples of PV verb phrases: Aux. VerbMain VerbAux. 1Aux. 2Main Verb is drivenhasbeentaken arestolenisbeinggiven wasorderedwillbereceived werelecturedisto bedetermined

More Clues...  Can have a “by...” phrase at or near the end of the clause: prepositional phrase that contains the real subject identifies who or what is actually doing something Ex. The car is being driven by zombies.

ID Passive Voice and Revise!  Bells were rung, horns were blown, confetti was thrown from every office window, and embraces were exchanged by total strangers.  Bells rang, horns tooted, confetti streamed from every office window, and total strangers threw their arms around each other.

Expunging Passive Voice! 1. Find the real subject of the sentence. 2. Make it perform! Exploit the senses: use POWER verbs. (verbs that show specific action) Ex. Thunder was heard in the mountains. Thunder in the mountains. Be ready to perform serious sentence operations!

Remember...  The more precise the verb you choose, the more vivid the picture and sound it creates!  Make your writing exciting! (Please) Vigorous writing is concise!