Working with Parents

Humans choose their behaviors as a function of their knowledge base (have to know how to do it) and their attitudes (values or beliefs) Behavior Knowledge Base (We know how to do this if knowledge is this problem.) Attitudes Beliefs and Values (We adopt these based upon our experiences.)

Involvement Insistence Support Expectations Parent Groups Typically Seen in Schools 1.Two-career parents 2.Parents who are involved 3.Immigrant parents 4.Single parent 5.Surrogate parents 6.Parents who are not working and not involved 7.Parents who are not available 8.Students who, in effect, are their own parents Ruby Payne’s Framework for Understanding Poverty

In the Beginning Mail an opening letter to each family. Call home to introduce yourself, especially if the family did not attend Sneak Peek or Open House. Be positive about the year and the student. Let the family know how to best contact you and ask when is best to contact them and how they would like you to do that. Lets listen to a sample introductory phone call:

Use Multiple Forms of Communication Parent Newsletters Open House/Sneak Peek Curriculum Nights Guest speakers geared towards parents Annual field days/field trips Webpage updated weekly if not daily Workshops for parents and guardians During the Year

Phone calls Text Messaging Planned Face-to-Face - Conferences Unplanned Face-to-Face

Situation One A student in your class has been sleeping during class across the last three days. You have tried various methods to keep the child awake and engaged in your lessons. You decide you will call home to discuss the situation with the student’s parents. What do you do next?

Phone: When You Make the Initial “There’s an Issue” Contact Have your notes or a script ready so you can keep the conversation on track. Call at a time that is convenient for both you and the family. Never put parents on the defensive. Be tactful and diplomatic. Know that both you and the parents want what is best for the student. Strive to work as a team. If you say you are going to do something, do it. SMILE throughout the conversation.

Situation Two You Receive the following voice mail: “For the third time this week, my daughter, Alison, has been crying while doing her homework for 2 hours each night. I want to know why a third grader has so much homework? Is it because you are inexperienced and do not know what’s expected yet? You need to call me today!”

When Returning Calls Try to find out in advance why parents want you to call. Bring something on which to take notes. Listen to the parent and restate their comments to show that you hear what they are saying. Work together to address the situation. If possible, end the conversation on a positive note.

During the Year Phone calls Text Planned Face-to-Face - Conferences Unplanned Face-to-Face

Situation Three From: Ms. Jones Sent: March 03, 2:32 PM To: Teachers 1, 2, 3, and 4 Subject: Student Hello everyone! In case you did not already know it, “Mary” is my daughter. I just wanted to touch base to see if she is doing what she is supposed to do. I know that she often does NOT do what she should, so please feel free to let me know if you are having any trouble. Thanks! Ms. Jones From: Teacher Sent: April 01, 12:53 PM To: “Ms. Jones” Subject: RE: “Mary Jones” “Mary” does very little work,did not show me a notebook and even acted offended when I asked a second time for it. “Mary” talks a lot turned around to “Susie Smith”, not doing well eithe., So today while starting Physics and they were talking, I moved “Susie” to the other side of the room. No one was happy so you'll probably hear about it. It is impossible to fail my class because I give them the questions as I teach and review them before the test. “Mary” does not want to pass and is trying very hard to fail. She was given a 60 on her report card. She probabily will not turn over a new leaf; if so, it is still oubtful that she could pass. I see the problem and I sympathize with your attempts. Should she decide to work, we will need to meet to do make up work. Hope you are injoying your job. Teacher From: Teacher

During the Year Phone calls Text Messaging Planned Face-to-Face - Conferences Unplanned Face-to-Face

Texting Parents Be smart about who you give your personal cell phone number to. Use a site that blocks your number but goes directly to parents: – – These programs are free and easy to use. They are great for field trip reminders, band trips or coaches!

During the Year Phone Text Planned Face-to-Face Conferences Situation FourPlanned Face-to-Face Conferences Unplanned Face-to-Face

Planning the Conference Be flexible with the time, within reason. Have an idea of what you hope to accomplish. Try to find out who is coming. Send a reminder of the date and time.

Before the Conference Document everything. Keep a log of the child's behavior. Keep track of the child's grades and any missing assignments. Pull student work together ahead of time. Keep a record of all communications with parents. Communicate any concerns early. Solicit others' support. Test out tactics. Stage a comfortable atmosphere for the conference within your room and in a waiting area. Rose, M. 2005, March. Handle with care: The difficult parent-teacher conference. Instructor Magazine. Retrieved from

At the Conference Welcome with warmth. Put it in writing. Weigh your words. Allow for anger. Seek parents' suggestions. Try to have solutions in mind. Try to offer concrete suggestions that the parents can use at home. Try to find the student's greatest strength and build on that. Partner with other school personnel. Stay on schedule. Rose, M. 2005, March. Handle with care: The difficult parent-teacher conference. Instructor Magazine. Retrieved from

After the Conference Don't forget the follow-up. Keep communicating. Do whatever it is you said you were going to do for the family and the child. Rose, M. 2005, March. Handle with care: The difficult parent-teacher conference. Instructor Magazine. Retrieved from

During the Year Phone calls Text Messaging Planned Face-to-Face - Conferences Unplanned Face-to-Face Encounters

Situation Five At the football game one of your student’s parents comes to you and says,” I am really steamed at my kid’s PE teacher. My daughter has a terrible ankle injury and is in a cast. She will not be able to do any exercise for at least another month. They have to run the mile once a week in her class and it is a huge part of her grade. The teacher said there is nothing she can do to make up the work and her grade will a c. As of now she has an A. Don’t you think this is unreasonable and unfair? What should I do?” What do you say?

Tips for Working with Parents from Generational Poverty 1.Use the adult voice. 2.In generational poverty, weakness is not respected. Do not show fear. 3.Use stories whenever possible. 4.Remember the importance of non-verbals. Your intent determines non-verbals. 5.Offer a cup of coffee or a soft drink. 6.Say: “I know you love and care about your child. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. What can we do so that you know we care as well?” 7.Remember that often the conference is reported back to the neighborhood.

In the End… Thank your parents and students through a note, letter, picture, video, DVD, certificate, etc. Let them know you appreciate their collaboration in learning. It builds your reputation positively…

Serve your parents as you do your students … Final Tip Based on their needs