The secret language of sex: troubling relationships between disabled youth and their parents in the provision of sexuality education in South Africa. Dr. Paul Chappell University of Johannesburg, South Africa

Background Sexual behaviour and expression often seen as taboo for disabled youth (Sait et al, 2011; UNICEF, 2001; Shakespeare, 2000). Caregivers perceive disabled youth as innocent, sexually passive and incapable of sexual agency (Chappell et al., 2014; McKenzie, 2013). Lack of research exploring perceptions disabled youth have towards talking about sexuality and HIV with their parents (Chappell, 2013).

Methods Qualitative, participatory research design Theoretical Framework: Post-structural – recognising the fluidity of identity and power (Butler, 1990; Foucault, 1978). Sample: Purposive sample of twenty-two, year-old Zulu-speaking youth with physical and visual impairments in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. 3 Participants trained as co-researchers: Two female (aged 17 & 20 years) and one male (aged 15 years).

Methods Data Collection: Conducted by co-researchers with other young participants.  4 single-sex and 1 mixed-sex focus group discussions (using PRA techniques e.g. drawings and timelines).  4 individual interviews.  Reflective taped journals. Data analysis: Multi-levelled process using content and discourse analysis

Findings Cultural customs of respect (ukuhlonipha) prevented sex and HIV talk between participants and their parents. Participants develop own secret sex language amongst their peers as a counter-discourse towards parents' silence surrounding sexuality and HIV. Secret sex language responsible for creating harmful discourses that put some disabled youth at risk of HIV.

If or when you try to talk to some of them [parents] about sex they say “no, no, no I am not your friend for you to talk to me about such things, go and talk to your friends” ( Female, 20 years old, visual impairment ). I don’t talk to adults and my parents about these issues [love and sex] because as a child I can’t just go and talk to adults about this and vice versa ( Male, 15 years old, visual impairment ). There should be a way for them [parents] to talk to us about this because at the end of the day we get information from outside and it is not the correct information ( Male, 18 years old, physical impairment )

Conclusion The notion of ‘open sex talk’ is often in conflict with ‘traditional’ African parenting styles which advocate sexual silence. Disabled youth have the capacity to develop counter-discourses towards parental sexual silence. Secret languages of sex can be harmful and impact on decisions disabled youth make in terms of their sexual identities, relationships and HIV risk.

Recommendations The training of disabled youth as peer sexuality and HIV educators. Support for parents of disabled youth in the provision of sexuality education. Further research into the sexual behaviour and experiences of disabled youth.

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