Defining Abuse “ A pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partner in order to maintain power and control in the relation” (Kinsel, EBCC) With abuse there is power and control dynamic. The abuser has a need to be control. The need for power roots from a sense of entitlement and maintenance. With the sense of entitlement the abuser will use coercive means to satisfy his or her “needs.” When these needs are not met, more cunning measures will be used.

Abusive Tactics Not all abuse is physical. The abuser will create psychological traps to create decency and ensuring the offenders “needs” are met. Isolation- separating the victim from friends and family. Isolation creates an emotional gap between the victim and their support network. Without the support network, the victim is less likely to realize what may be happening. Distortion of Reality- twisting conversations, mood changes, deceptive pity. The abuser will twist conversations in his or her best interest. Constant mood changes over menial issues or things creates confusion for the victim. Distortion of reality leaves the victim constantly guessing. Control of Resources- money, housing, transportation. These are major reasons why it may be difficult leaving abusive relationships. The abuser as control of these resources ensuring that the victim will stay.

Coping Mechanisms Relationships like this are very stressful. Everyone deals with stress differently. Victims of domestic violence may not realize they are in an abusive relationship, but simply having relationship issue like every couple. With the thought of having simply relationship problems, they may need the need to try harder to make the relationship and make their partner happy., hoping that this will solve the issue. Victims may isolate themselves voluntarily, thinking that no one else understanding these issues. Others may self medicate to help deal with the stress.