Relationships and Communication He’s just not that into you!

Quick Start On a piece of paper, list three qualities of healthy relationships. Then, in a paragraph, explain why those qualities are important and how having healthy relationships can contribute to a fulfilling life

Family & Friends Family is the first group you belong to. Provides guidance to help children learn to function in society Values: beliefs and standards of conduct that are important to a person

Other relationships As you grow up, you become a part of other groups Peer pressure

Communication The foundation of any good relationship is communication. Use “I” statements Maintain a polite tone Speak directly to person Body language should match your words

Communication and Dating Both parties must communicate in order to have their feelings known and understood Must be willing to express themselves AND listen to the other person Will help you maintain a healthy relationship

Decisions About Sexual Relationships In a dating relationship, good communication is critical for setting limits regarding sexual involvement. Each person must make decisions about what he/she wants from the relationship & communicate those decisions effectively.

Decisions About Sexual Behavior It’s perfectly normal for young people to decide that they are not ready for a sexual relationship. Teens are making the choice to practice abstinence. Abstinence is a deliberate decision to avoid harmful behaviors, including sexual activity before marriage & the use of alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs.

Choosing Abstinence

Practicing Abstinence Until Marriage Abstinence does not mean doing without intimacy or physical contact in a close, special friendship. Intimacy is a closeness between two people that develops over time. For example, a couple can hold hands, hug, kiss, and grow to know and understand each other.

Benefits of Abstinence Benefits to your physical, mental/emotional, and social health: Eliminates risks of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, including HIV / AIDS The only 100% effective method to avoid unplanned pregnancy Being sexually active goes against their personal values & those of their family Can allow a couple to build a deeper friendship

Benefits of Abstinence continued… Teens are not physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially ready for short-term & long-term consequences of engaging in sexual activity. These negative effects can disrupt a teens life & interfere with his/her plan for the future.

Practicing Your Decision to Be Abstinent If you made a decision to abstain from sexual activity, a well thought-out plan of action will help you uphold that choice… 1. Make a detailed list of your reasons for choosing abstinence. 2. Discuss your feelings, your decisions, and your expectations of the relationship with you boy/girlfriend

Practicing Your Decision to Be Abstinent continued… 3. Place yourself in situations that reinforce your decision to be abstinent. When dating, for example, choose well-lit places that encourage conversation, or date in groups. 4. Plan your time together—where you will go, how long you will stay, & what time you will go home.

Using Refusal Skills As you mature, you will assume more and more responsibility for your actions. You always try and make the best possible decisions for your health, safety, and well- being. You may feel pressured to make risky decisions that go against your values. In these situations you will need to stand up for yourself and firmly say no. Practicing refusal skills will help you uphold your intentions and values.

Refusal Skills Communication strategies that help you say no effectively. When resisting pressure, simply say NO, without feeling that you need to justify yourself. Repeat yourself, if necessary. Be polite but keep your tone firm. Do not insult or yell, but use a firm tone of voice and direct eye contact.

Refusal Skills continued… If possible, suggest an alternative activity that is acceptable to you. Do not compromise when you feel strongly about something. Compromise can be a passive way of saying yes. Avoid use of alcohol & other drugs. The use of these impairs your judgment & your ability to make healthy decisions. If the other person persists & continues to pressure you, leave. Go someplace where you feel safe & comfortable.

Lesson 2 Review Questions 1. Define abstinence. 2. Analyze the importance & benefits of abstinence in promoting emotional health & the prevention of pregnancy, STDs, and HIV/AIDS. List four reasons to practice abstinence from sexual activity. 3. Describe & demonstrate with examples three refusal strategies you can take to reinforce a decision to remain abstinent.

Lesson 2 Review Questions continued… 4. What would you say to a friend who says that he/she will make a decision about sexual activity when faced with the problem, not before? Explain your reasoning. 5. Engaging in physical activity before marriage can have physical, mental/emotional, and legal consequences. Provide two examples of each of these types of consequences.