What behaviors come to mind when you hear “SEXUAL AGGRESSION” Discussion: What behaviors come to mind when you hear “SEXUAL AGGRESSION” besides RAPE??? rape sexual abuse molesting unwanted flirting/stalking any unwanted sexual touching

SEXUAL AGGRESSION Sexual Aggression refers to sexual activity including: Groping, grabbing, touching, verbal sexual comments, oral sex, vaginal & anal intercourse Performed against a persons will through the use of: force, argument, alcohol, drugs, authority Motivated by: power, anger & hatred

Legal definition of sexual assault? Sexual assault is any sexual activity that occurs against a person’s will. It involves situations in which the victim does not or cannot consent to the sexual activity which is occurring. Emotional pressure, physical force, trickery, bribery, or threats may be used to commit a sexual assault. Some examples of sexual assault include: Unwanted sexual touching (grabbing, touching, stroking, etc) Stalking Forced sexual penetration (including stranger, acquaintance, and marital rape) Child sexual abuse Sexual harassment Drug facilitated sexual assault (date rape drug) Incest

Why do these MYTHS exist? A woman who gets raped usually deserves it, especially if she has agreed to go to a man's house or park with him. If a woman agrees to allow a man to pay for dinner, drinks, etc., then it means she owes him sex. Acquaintance rape is committed by men who are easy to identify as rapists. Women who don't fight back haven't been raped. Intimate kissing or certain kinds of touching mean that intercourse is inevitable. Once a man reaches a certain point of arousal, sex is inevitable and they can't help forcing themselves upon a woman. Most women lie about acquaintance rape because they have regrets after consensual sex. Women who say "No" really mean "Yes." Certain behaviors such as drinking or dressing in a sexually appealing way make rape a woman's responsibility.

What Do You Know About Sexual Aggression? True False 1. Sexual aggression is the same thing as rape. True False 2. Sexual desire is the motivation for sexual aggression. True False 3. Strangers are the perpetrators of 84% of sexual assault cases. True False 4. Victims of sexual aggression “ask for it” in the way they dress or act. True False 5. Alcohol & drugs are involved in 75% of cases of sexual aggression. True False 6. Men & women are victims of sexual aggression. True False 7. Good communication can help prevent sexual aggression. FALSE – Why? FALSE – What is? FALSE – Who? FALSE – Why? TRUE – Why? TRUE – Story… TRUE – How?

WHAT MAKES SEXUAL ASSAULT RAPE?

What is Rape? What is Date Rape? Rape is where the victim is forced into sexual penetration against his or her will. What is Date Rape? Being subjected to unwanted sexual intercourse, penetration or other sexual contact through the use of force or threat of force from someone the victim knows. Sexual coercion is defined as unwanted sexual intercourse, or any other sexual contact subsequent to the use of menacing verbal pressure or misuse of authority (Koss, 1988).

Why might Date Rape happen? Poor communication between partners Mixed Signals Miscommunication about sexual limits Anger Power A guy may misinterpret a girl’s friendliness for sexual interest and not take “no” for an answer. Putting yourself into an environment or situation where it may lead to tempting & unwanted behavior. Do I want to do what? I don’t know, tee-hee, I guess I’m not sure, tee-hee…

REMEMBER… Date rape involves drugs or alcohol use 75% of the time. Date rape doesn’t always happen by an “evil” individual. Guys and girls need to be aware of limits set & LISTEN to their girlfriend/boyfriend for hints to say “no”

HOW CAN YOU HELP PREVENT A DATE RAPE? 1. MAKE A CLEAR DECISION ABOUT YOUR BOUNDARIES RIGHT NOW. 2. COMMUNICATE THESE DECISIONS CLEARLY & ASSERTIVELY 3. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH A SITUATION, BE DIRECT WITH YOUR RESPONSE. “Do you have a watch on?” example 4. BE AWARE OF MESSAGES YOU ARE GIVING: POSTURE TONES GESTURES EYE CONTACT MIXED SIGNALS (stupid girl giggle…) COMMUNICATE!!!

NO! HOW do you say “no”? AN ASSERTIVE RESPONSE: Sometimes simply saying “no” doesn’t work No matter how tough & strong we think we are, sometimes our partner is tougher & stronger. AN ASSERTIVE RESPONSE: Content: clear, specific, direct. Use “no” & “stop” Voice: clear & even. Don’t let your voice tremble or giggle! Facial Expression: Eye contact Posture: Confident. Shoulders back, face the person Your Feelings: Self-respecting The Goal: to change the situation

There Are 3 Stages to a Date Rape: The aggressor enters the other person’s “personal space” (kissing, hugging, hand on chest, thigh or butt) Stage 2: The partner does not assertively stop the behavior, and the aggressor thinks it’s okay Stage 3: The aggressor gets the couple to a secluded place where the rape occurs

What is CONSENT? What isn’t CONSENT? Consent is : based on CHOICE. active, not passive. possible only when there is equal power. What isn’t CONSENT? Consent isn’t: Going along with something because you want to “fit in” Being deceived or feeling bad

If you can’t say “no” comfortably, then “yes” has no meaning. If you are unwilling to accept a “no”, Silence, emotional coercion, or simple compliance is not consent.

JOSH & MAGGIE Listen to the story about Maggie & Josh. Answer the following questions in your notes: 1. What went wrong on this date? 2. Why did this date rape happen? 3. Does Josh think he did something wrong? Why or why not? Josh & Maggie