COMMUNICATION

The sharing of thoughts, feelings and information with others. Definition The sharing of thoughts, feelings and information with others.

Good communication requires you to: 1. Have a clear goal and express it effectively. 2. Be aware of your emotions and your body language. 3. Be a good listener, reflect back what you heard. 4. Know how and when to compromise.

What forms does it take? Non-verbal – body language (Kinesics) Verbal – spoken words Written – letters, e-mails, newspapers, etc.

The science of body language Kinesics The science of body language A way of communicating mood, attitude, or information through body movements, posture, gestures and facial expressions

Activity Body Language Match Groups of 2 Cards on the table in 2 groups - pictures and words Take turns matching cards, 1 picture and 1 word at a time

Review What does their body language indicate? Your sister, head lowered, shoulders slumped, drags herself off the basketball court after her team’s last-second defeat in the playoffs. Your mother quickly glares in your direction, wrinkles her forehead, and frowns when you tell an inappropriate joke at a family gathering. While talking to a friend, he looks around, shifts his position constantly, and taps his fingers.

What skills are needed? Effective communication requires the following skills: - Observing for body language - Expressing yourself clearly when writing and speaking - Listening intently to others

Communication Styles Passive – Accepting or submitting without objection or resistance; submissive Aggressive – Intense or harsh; behaving in an actively hostile fashion Assertive – Bold, firm or confident assertion ACTIVITIES Response Styles – handout Passive, Aggressive, Assertive Are You an Effective Communicator?

ACTIVITY CLASS PICTIONARY Groups will work together to guess what the picture is that their group member is drawing. The first group to correctly guess what the picture is wins a point for that round. Each group member will have a turn to draw a picture

“I” Statements handout A statement of your feelings that does not blame or judge another person. The word “you” puts people on the defensive and causes them to tune out. Examples: You need to stop yelling, you are out of control. It makes me angry when people speak to me that way. You should have invited everyone in the class, you aren’t very thoughtful. I would feel better if we invited the whole class to the party. You always leave me out! It upsets me when I am left out of the group. Activity “I” Statements handout

“I” statements handout Activity “I” statements handout

LOOK THE PERSON IN THE EYES Communication Do’s LISTEN LOOK THE PERSON IN THE EYES ASK QUESTIONS HEAR A PERSON OUT RESIST DISTRACTIONS BE OPEN-MINDED USE “I” STATEMENTS

Barriers to good communication Unclear explanations Conflicting messages Not listening Interrupting Blaming or yelling Assuming you understand Bringing up the past Using guilt trips Using profane language Giving unwanted advice Mocking or ridiculing another person Using violence

Activity Class Charades Two groups On my signal 1 person picks up a card and acts out the message written on it without talking or writing. Group members call out their guesses until the message is correctly guessed. Once the message is correctly guessed, the next player picks up a card and begins acting. Continue playing until one team guesses all of the cards. The first team to do this is the winner. Why were some messages harder than others to convey without using words?

Activity Tanks Strong speaking and listening skills are essential for good communication! When could not understanding or not giving clear directions be dangerous or cause a problem?

NO means NO, not yes or maybe Refusal Skills NO means NO, not yes or maybe How to say NO: Decide how you feel ahead of time so you won’t be caught off guard. This will give you confidence and control over your choices. Be friendly, but firm. Repeat what your friend said (You want me to cut school and drink all day?) Be honest. Don’t’ lie or you may be forced to make up more lies to cover the first one. Simply state the truth. (I really don’t want to do that). Speak only for yourself. You’re not responsible for everyone else’s actions. Speak only about how you feel. Use “I” statements.

No means NO! (continued) Suggest an alternative. (Let’s plan to go to the movies this weekend instead) Separate the activity from the person. Let them know you care about them, but you do not wish to do what they want. (You’re a close friend, but I don’t feel comfortable drinking and cutting school). Discuss the possible consequences. (If I were to get caught drinking, I’d be grounded and it’s not worth it. If the person persists, walk away from the situation. Suggest that they join you in something else. (I’m going to school now. I’ll be at the usual table at lunch, and I hope you’ll meet me there.) Be prepared to accept the fact that you may be rejected anyway.

One-Way Communication One way communication allows for no questions or clarification and involves only one person speaking. Activity One-Way Communication Picture Cards

TEST All questions on the test will be taken from your Communication/Resistance Skills Unit notes and handouts.