EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK

ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT? OR YOU STILL THINK (not feel) THAT IQ MATTERS MORE THAN EQ?

Before we move ahead please note that: IQ means intelligence quotient EQ means emotional quotient EI means emotional intelligence

WHAT ARE EMOTIONS ? Happiness, fear, anger, affection, shame, disgust, surprise, lust, sadness, elation, love, frustration, anxiety, failure, achievement etc. The above are the emotions which directly affect our day- to-day life. There are TWO dimensions of emotions: Physiological side: ‘Emotion’ is a complex state of human mind, involving bodily changes of widespread character such as breathing, pounding heart, flushed face, sweating palms, pulse rate, gland secretions, etc. Psychological side, a state of excitement or perturbation marked by strong feelings.

Emotions And Their Blends: Anger: fury, outrage, resentment, annoyance, hostility. Love: acceptance, friendliness, trust, kindness, infatuation. Shame: guilt, remorse, humiliation, regret. Fear: anxiety, nervousness, apprehension, terror. Enjoyment: happiness, joy, relief, contentment, pleasure. Sadness: Grief, sorrow, cheerlessness, gloom. Surprise: Shock, astonishment, amazement wonder. lll

Examples of Use Of Emotions:  She is too sensitive.  He takes everything too personally.  He is jealous of his colleagues.  My boss is always in a hostile mood.  She does not understand the feelings of others.  He is always nagging others.  The HOD blurts things out without thinking of others.  Nobody understands/listens to me.  The management is way out of touch with employee’s emotions.  Why does it happen with me only in life.  I am always nice with the people around me. The above statements refer to various emotions we experience in our day to day life.

What Exactly Is EQ Emotional intelligence or Emotional Quotient is simply defined as: knowing what feels good, what feels bad, and how to get from bad to good. Knowing your emotions and knowing emotion of others. It refers to emotional management skills which provide competency to balance emotions and reason so as to maximise long term happiness.

Emotional Intelligence is “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. Emotional intelligence describes abilities distinct from, but complementary to, academic intelligence.” Daniel Goleman (1998)

IQ v/s EQ (Intelligence Quotient v/s Emotional Quotient) The research shows that IQ can help you to be successful to the extent of 20 percent only in life. The rest of 80 percent success depends on your EQ 80% EQ 20% IQ

WHAT IS “SUCCESS” Is it your IQ: Exams passed, competitions cleared, percentage of marks in schools and colleges, academic qualifications etc Earning fat salary, top positions in workplace, being rich and wealthy, powerful, dominating, being influential etc

OR SUCCESS IS SOMETHING ELSE The word "success" is a relative term Living a healthy and happy married life may be an indicator of success for some. Reaching a top position in carrier may be an indicator of success for others For some having a satisfying job life or personal satisfaction may be an indicator of success Only the tangible achievements may not be indicators of success in life. Many a times non- tangible performance or achievements may be termed as successful.

GETS YOU HIRED GETS YOU FIRED/PROMOTED THE PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS

What experts say Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Management consultants and Medical Doctors have been proving that there are personal characteristics called emotional intelligence which are responsible for the ways how we behave, how we feel, how we relate to others, how well we do at our jobs, and how healthy we are.

Conted….. Emotional Intelligence tendencies can result in being uncomfortable with other people, not being happy with your job, not succeeding at your job, and even being physically and psychologically unhealthy - with stress-related problems, or not having satisfactory interpersonal relations

EQIQ THE PERSONALITY The HEAD The HEART

THE PERSONALITY EQ Thinking Part Feeling Part

Characteristics of a High EQ Person A time to wait and a time to watch, A time to be aggressive and a time to be passive, A time to be together and a time to be alone, A time to fight and a time to love, A time to work and a time to play, A time to cry and a time to laugh, A time to confront and a time to withdraw, A time to speak and a time to be silent, A time to be patient and a time to decide.

Characteristics of a low EQ Person “If only I had a different job … …” “If only I had finished graduation … …” “If only I had been handsome/beautiful …” “If only my spouse had stopped drinking …” “If only I had been born rich and famous…” “If only I had good contacts…” “If only I had better friends …” “If only I had married someone else …”

EMOTIONAL SKILLS MANAGERS SHOULD LEARN EMOTIONAL COMPETENCY EMOTIONAL MATURITY EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY

I. EMOTIONAL COMPETENCY Tackling Emotional Upsets High Self-esteem Handling Egoism Handling Inferiority Complex

21 II. EMOTIONAL MATURITY Self-Awareness Developing Others Delaying Gratification Adaptability and Flexibility

22 III. EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY Understanding Threshold of Emotional Arousal Empathy Improving Inter-personal Relations Communicability of Emotions

23 Do different professions require different Levels of EQ? CLUSTER I: EXTREMELY HIGH Artist, Insurance, Advertisement, Social Work CLUSTER II:HIGH Teaching, Legal, Tourism, Politics, Business/ Entrepreneurship, Police CLUSTER III:AVERAGE Judiciary, Administration, Information Technology, Medicine, Banking, Engineering, Accountancy, Nursing

SOME MYTHS/FACTS ABOUT EQ Being EI does not mean a weak, submissive or defensive personality. Being highly EI does not not mean being extra nice, polite or sugar coating your language The females are NOT superior to males in expressing/experiences emotions as most of us tend to believe incorrectly. In fact, the research shows that males are equally emotional when compared to females. There is no direct evidence to prove that EQ is dependent upon heredity. However, the environment does seem to influence the EQ.

Myths….. Advocating EQ does not mean that we are promoting low scorers or average IQ people. Having average EQ is not bad or undesirable Having high EQ is always welcome. We are not negating the IQ. In fact a combination of high EQ and high IQ would be a most ideal personality. It would be a win win situation.

CAN EQ BE DEVELOPED? YES. You can develop your EQ by upgrading your emotional skills. The popular thinking that EQ is entirely inherited is incorrect. Emotional Intelligence is not fixed at birth. There is no emotional intelligence genes as such that we know of today. It is something one has learned.

Conted…….. Can EQ be developed at any stage/age of personal or professional life. The answer is YES. You can upgrade your emotional skills at any stage of your life. In fact, age and maturity are positively correlated with the EQ. Same is not true about IQ which is more or less static.

Can EQ Be Measured? YES. Though some critics may argue that emotional traits can not be measured accurately the psychologists have shown that EI can be measured by using standardised scientific tools.

APPLYING EQ IN BUSINESS ORGANISATIONS Customer Service Hiring Turnover Training Corporate Culture Productivity Goal Setting Emotional Support Leadership

CONCLUSION: Applying EQ makes you feel comfortable within your own skin and with people around you. You can also understand what makes you incompatible with certain people or jobs and learn ways to deal with the emotional difficulties ease. You can also understand the specific feelings that cause you stress and learn ways to become more at peace.

QUOTES “Anyone can be angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not easy.”