Social Development, Friendship and Mate Selection

Nature of Relationships Need for Affiliation Evolutionary value Varies with situation cognitive clarity emotional comparison emotional support

Reciprocity and Interdependence Basic unit is the dyad Dyad is reciprocal/interdependent Relationships are dynamic

Benefits of Relating Information and assistance Learn about culture and history Identify and select mates Receive reassurance/help with coping Contributes to sense of self Provide companionship Source of interest/fun

Links to Well-Being Health and mortality Relationship between social relations and health is bidirectional Quality more important than quantity Negative social interactions lower self-esteem undermine coping increase physiological arousal

Characteristics of a High-Quality Relationship Social Support: interpersonal transactions that provide the following: positive affect affirmation aid

Impact of Quality of Life Social support: contributes to sense of well-being and life satisfaction Reduces uncertainty and enhances sense of personal control/social competence Contributes to self-esteem

Impact on Mental Health Social support protects from negative effects of stressful life events depression schizophrenia alcoholism

Impact on Physical Health Social support related to positive effects on three systems: cardiovascular, endocrine, immune Mechanisms: buffer effects of stress and enhance health promoting behaviors

Convoy Model of Social Relationships Enmeshed in social network of emotionally close others Moves with the person through life Person gives and receives social support

Developmental Patterns Late adolescence/early adulthood: social exploration and expansion Early 30s: convoy has been selected; peripheral relationship dropped

Theories of Social Aging Disengagement: mutual withdrawal Activity: withdrawal imposed Socioemotional selectivity theory: actively selecting Goal is to maximize social/emotional gains and minimize social/emotional risks

Impact of Early Experience on Adult Relationships Erikson: psychoanalytic hierarchical stage theory Intimacy at time of expanding social interaction Attachment theory

Attachment Theory Life-span perspective Attachment: an emotional bond between two people John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth Continuing influence on subsequent relationships

Key Components Attachment behavioral system: ethology universal to species purpose: promote proximity for survival preprogrammed, signaling behaviors initially indiscriminate maternal sensitivity/responsiveness shapes quality affectional bonds

Key Components 2 Quality of Attachment Secure: 62%; responsive/sensitive caregiving Anxious/Ambivalent: 15%; inconsistent/inappropriate caregiving Avoidant: 23%; unresponsive/rejecting caregiving

Key Components 3 Working Models: cognitive component Mental representations self and other Key to long-term effect Adult attachment regulated by internal working models formed early in life

Attachment Theory and Romantic Love Attachment styles originating infancy influence romantic love relationships Secure: happy, friendly, trusting, accepting, supportive; last twice as long Anxious/ambivalent: jealousy, emotional ups and downs, desire for reciprocation, intense sexual desire; fall in love quickly while finding relationships unsatisfying Avoidant: fear of intimacy, jealousy, lack of acceptance; believe love hard to find and rarely lasting.

Reorganization of Mental Models Some able to overcome negative parent-child relationships Reorganization- some history of secure attachment Secure style very stable More likely to move to secure style if: educated lived away from parents and/or lived with with spouse before marriage

Advantages of Attachment Theory Provides a life-span perspective Offers insight into origins of various relational styles Emphasis on working models consistent with schemas in cognitive psychology

Limitations of Attachment Theory Methodological: self-report data Cultural variations

Friendship Research issues: Studies of development in adulthood are rare Definitions vary Few longitudinal studies Overgeneralization

Nature of Friendships Why we make friends: sociable system Definition: a voluntary association between equals high in similarity and whose primary orientation is toward enjoyment and personal satisfaction Longevity Voluntary; less regulated by social/legal Based on similarity Oriented toward enjoyment Trust

Functions of Friendships Contributes to self-esteem Serve as confidants Serve as models of coping Buffer stress Provide acceptance Major source of enjoyment

Friendship vs. Kinship Family: more significant and long-term assistance Obligatory, not voluntary More different in terms of interests, age “Get on nerves more” Some overlap and substitution

Gender Differences Women: closer, deeper, more intimate, offer more support, more satisfied, more communal or helping orientation, greater levels of continuity, more frequent contact Men: group and activity oriented, more guarded less self-disclosing, less intimate Men expect less and tolerate conflict

Friendship Development Over the Life Span Rate of interaction declined after high school and rose again in oldest group Middle-aged less than 10% of time Newlyweds: largest friendship network Often durable over time Women: available time and need Men: take place of family members

Leaving Home “Boomerang kids” Due to: financial or personal setback, unemployment, parent’s affluent life-style Parents influence process of leaving home

Mate Selection Process of successive hurdles Filters: Propinquity: repeated exposure effect Attractiveness: matching hypothesis, evolutionary hypothesis Similarity: niche picking Reciprocity Complementarity: family myth Timing: temporal readiness