Grad students vs. Mentors developed by R. Craft, based on student & faculty input Psychology Department Washington State University + material adapted from Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes (1991)

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor keeps asking me to do more and more; s/he must think I have nothing else to do but eat and sleep research. This student keeps taking on more and more; s/he is so motivated and enthusiastic, s/he’s really got what it takes to be a successful researcher. OR: I need to get the best/most performance that I can from this student; I just can’t get to everything myself.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor never lets me choose what I want to work on; s/he doesn’t seem to think my ideas are valid. I have to keep this student focused on a single line of inquiry or s/he’ll fall behind in the program (and we’ll both look bad).

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception I'm afraid that any sign of weakness will be evaluated negatively by my mentor. I need to portray that I am handling everything well. My student is making mistakes but not owning up to them. S/he must be defensive (or clueless, or irresponsible).

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor is always criticizing my work. S/he must think I’m really stupid. I need to make sure I’m consistently offering feed- back to my student so that s/he can improve her/his performance as expediently as possible.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception I never get any useful feedback from my mentor; s/healways says I’m doing fine. How can I improve if I can’t see what I’m doing wrong? I’m afraid to criticize my student too much; s/he may get frustrated if s/he sees me as too “picky.”

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception I have worked hard to gain admission here, plus paid a lot of money and risked a personal relationship to be here; this program owes me the best training possible. I have trained for many years to earn my qualifications, and my student needs to listen and learn from me in order to gain admission into the profession.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor doesn’t give me enough guidance. Graduate training is about developing a sense of independence.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor always seems to change her/his mind on every draft of this paper – I wish s/he would just make up her/his mind so I didn’t have to keep making all these revisions. Drafting a good paper is a PROCESS – it’s important to try several possible ways of presenting and interpreting data, so that ultimately one arrives at the best product.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception It seems like all my peers are getting a lot more/better ____________ (fill in the blank) than I am. It’s really unfair that other students are getting all the breaks/support/funding (etc.). It’s really important that I train my students the best way I know how. It’s up to me to make sure my student leaves WSU well-prepared for their career.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor gives me too much stuff to read – there’s no way anyone could digest all this in such a short period of time. I need to make sure I direct my student to all of the pertinent literature in this area so that s/he can gain competence and knowledge.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor is not very friendly to me. Perhaps s/he doesn’t like me, or is a cold person. My student seems overly friendly to me. The mentor- student relationship is about work, not play.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor seems overly friendly to me; this is making me nervous because I will be evaluated by her/him. My student is not very friendly to me; perhaps s/he doesn’t like me, or is a cold person.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception My mentor never asks me how things are going; s/he must not care about my progress (or is too busy to make time for me). My student never brings up any concerns to me; everything must be going fine.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception In comparison to my peers, I think I’m doing finein the program. When I compare my student’s performance to mine when I was a graduate student, s/he is falling short.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception I really need to take breaks in between tasks, in order to refocus/rejuvenate for the next task. It seems like every time I walk into the lab, my student is playing a computer game/texting a friend; s/he must not be getting anything done.

Grad Student Perception Mentor Perception I’m having a lot of personal issues that are impeding my progress in my program; I’d talk to my mentor but s/he seems really unreceptive to discussing anythingpersonal. I heard that s/he once told another student to “go see a therapist” if they were having problems. My student seems to be struggling but I don’t want to seem like I’m prying, so I’ll just wait until s/he talks to me. OR I can’t risk getting involved in anything personal, because it’s my job to evaluate this person. It’s better to recommend that a student with problems seek therapy instead of talking to me. OR My student seems to be struggling, which scares me because I’m afraid I won’t be able to help, so I’ll just ignore it and hope s/he gets help from someone else. OR Personal issues? I just thought s/he was lazy and unfocused (i.e., mentor completely misinterprets student’s struggles).

How do I keep my relationship with my advisor on track? Ask for feedback – at least once/semester Be proactive: keep your advisor informed of what you’re doing (be visible: don’t “disappear”) Separate the problem from the person: avoid finger- pointing! (“I’m having difficulty meeting this schedule” rather than: “You have unreasonable expectations”) Get on the same side of the table: “I would really like to make better progress on my project, so I can continue to move through the program efficiently. Can you help me get past X roadblock?”

GOOD LUCK!