2008 福建卷作文讲评

阅读下面一则广告，按照要求完成写作任务 EIL International English Summer Camp Volunteer Wanted EIL was founded in Britain in 1936 with the fundamental aim of international understanding “Learn to live together by living together”. Requirements: Over 16; good knowledge of English; outgoing; working well with children between 7-12 Activities: Language study, outdoor recreation and travel Campers: Students from different countries Camp site: Mount Wuyi, Fujian Time: July 26-August 9 Application deadline: July If interested, please to

[ 写作内容 ] 假设你是李华，这则广告引起了你的兴趣，请用 英文写一封自荐信。要求如下： 对夏令营主题的理解； 根据招聘要求自我介绍； 参加夏令营的目的。 注意： 1. 信的开头和结尾已为你写好，不计入总词数； 2. 词数 100 左右。

审题 提示形式：文字提示 读广告语，写自荐信。 看懂 Volunteer Wanted ， outgoing 题材： 自荐信 体裁：说明文 说明 ⑴为什么应聘，⑵个人条件，⑶目的 人称：第一人称 时态：主要用现在时，（一般现在时，现在 进行时，现在完成时）

内容要点 （ USA RW ） 1. 对看到广告的回应 （ response –R ） 表明自己看到这一则招聘广告，这是激发写自荐信 的原始目的。 2. 对夏令营主题的理解 （ understanding--U ） 3. 根据招聘要求做自我介绍（ self-introduction-S ） 年龄，英语水平，性格，经验 4. 参加夏令营的目的 （ aim-A ） 对自己的益处 5. 表达参加成为志愿者的意愿 （ willingness--W ）

1. 对看到广告的回应 （ response –R ） a. I am very interested in the ad b. How excited I was when I read the ad. c. It was your ad that attracted me greatly. 2. 对夏令营主题的理解 （ understanding--U ） a. “Learn to live together by living together”. means not only getting along with others but also working together. b. Getting on well with children is very important and only by contacting can we learn to live together. c. As far as I know, when a person begins to step into society, what he should do first is to live together with others.

3. 根据招聘要求做自我介绍（ self-introduction-S) Outgoing as I am, I am sure that I will get on well with children between 7-12, who take part in the activity. I am sure I meet the requirements you put forward, for I am a 20-year-old girl with a good knowledge of English On one hand, I work well with children. On the other hand, I am an outgoing person.

4. 参加夏令营的目的 （ aim-A ） The reason why I want to apply for it is that I intend to increase my knowledge of foreign culture and improve my working ability during the camp. In order to improve my English, make more friends, I would like to apply for it. 5. 表达参加成为志愿者的意愿 （ willingness--W ） Please consider my request. I am so interested in the camp that I am looking forward to being a Volunteer I will be well prepared to be a qualified Volunteer. I will cherish this opportunity and make my coming summer vocation a meaningful holiday.

专家打分 15 分 Dear sir, I’m Li Hua from Fujian. I like the summer camp very much. I like every people by living together. I think I very proper to take part in the summer camp. I not only good at knowledge of English, outgoing, but also like working with children between in spite of I am a student. I also travel many places and have many experience in outdoor. My English is well. In my opinion, take part in the summer camp can make me happy. If I will be reply, I will very excited. As a volunteer, I will do my best to the work. I am looking forward to your early reply. Sincerely yours, Li Hua

I have read the advertisement and I am very fond of the job as a volunteer of the English summer camp. The theme of the camp is very interesting. By living together, we can learn how to get on well with other people who come from different countries. We also can learn the history and culture of other countries. I am good at English. I am a lovely girl at the age of 19. I also like children very much, so a often play with my younger brothers and sisters. We play games happily. So I believe that I can work well with children. I want to learn more working experience and make friends with children from abroad. I believe that I can do the job well. So I hope I can get a chance to be a volunteer. 专家打分 23 分

晓萍 -22 分 Dear sir, I’m Li Hua from Fujian. I saw the advertisement and I am so interested in it. I think the theme of the camp is “Learn to live together by living together”. Now I will introduce myself to you. As a girl of 17, I have a good knowledge of English. I am outgoing in character so that I can get on well with children. Of course, I can work well with children between I like the summer camp, because I can broaden my horizon during the camp. In addition, I can learn how to live as well as how to communicate with others. I am looking forward to your early reply. Sincerely yours, Li Hua

One possible version Dear sir, I’m Li Hua from Fujian. When I was reading the advertisement, the aim of this activity impressed me greatly, I think it instructive to learn to live together by living together. It is a good opportunity for the only child like me to learn to share and work together. Therefore I recommend myself to you without hesitation. As a boy of 17, I am outgoing, good at English and have experience of working well with children aged from 7 to 12, I think it is a kind of win-win activity. For one thing, I can help take care the children. For another thing, I can improve my English, make more friends, and enrich my life during the summer vacation. I am looking forward to your early reply. Sincerely yours, Li Hua