Editing for power and style (From Richard Nordquist)

Whenever possible, make the subject of a sentence do something. Wordy: The sample essays were reviewed by the students. Revised: The students reviewed the sample essays. Try it: Happiness is seen as elusive by many.

 As Leonardo da Vinci observed, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Don't presume that big words or lengthy phrases will impress your readers: often the simplest word is the best.  Wordy: At this moment in time, students who are matriculating through high school should be empowered to participate in the voting process. Revised: High school students should have the right to vote.  Try it: Omar and I, we resurrected our lapsed connection with our hometown where we both were raised as children and young adults to attend a much-anticipated reunion of the people that we went to high school with over ten years ago in the past.

 Some of the most common phrases mean little, if anything, and should be cut from our writing: all things being equal all things considered as a matter of fact as far as I am concerned at the end of the day at the present time due to the fact that for all intents and purposes for the most part for the purpose of in a manner of speaking in my opinion in the event of in the final analysis it seems that the point that I am trying to make type of what I am trying to say what I want to make clear  Wordy: All things being equal, what I am trying to say is that in my opinion all students should, in the final analysis, have the right to vote for all intents and purposes. Revised: Students should have the right to vote.  Try it: In view of the fact that it was raining down, orders were given that the game be canceled.

 The fancy name for this process is "excessive nominalization." Our advice is simple: give verbs a chance. Wordy: The presentation of the arguments by the students was convincing. Revised: The students presented their arguments convincingly. Or... The students argued convincingly.  Try it: There is a possibility that one of the causes of so many teenagers running away from home is the fact that many of them have indifferent parents who don't really care about them.

 Replace vague nouns (such as area, aspect, case, factor, manner, situation, something, thing, type, and way) with more specific words--or eliminate them altogether. Wordy: After reading several things in the area of certain psychology-type subjects, I decided to put myself in a situation where I might change my major. Revised: After reading several psychology books, I decided to change my major. Try it: It appears that for these women one aspect of the term “happiness” is being involved in some process and achieving certain beneficial result rather than certain sensual experiences.