Male/Female Communication

Common communication stereotypes?

Sh*t We Say  Sh*t Guys Say Sh*t Guys Say  Sh*t Girls Say Sh*t Girls Say

Childhood study Group-oriented Teamwork = strong group of friends Individual oriented One-on-one talking (one or two best friends) BOYSGIRLS

Gesture and Movement  As early as preschool, girls and boys exhibit body movements and gestures of their biological sex  Greater display of dominant gestures from males and a greater display of acquiescing gestures by females

Non-verbal communication Avoid direct eye-contact Are still listening, although they may not look directly at you Misinterpret direct eye-contact as confrontational or flirtatious Direct, face-to-face gaze Used to focus on connection Misinterpret no eye-contact as a sign of not listening MENWOMEN

Preening Behavior  Stroking one’s hair  Fixing makeup  Fixing clothes  Looking in a mirror  Leaving buttons open on shirts or blouses  Adjusting suit coats  Pulling up socks  Adjusting a tie

Actions of Appeal or Invitation  Cues such as rolling the pelvis, casting flirtatious glances, holding another’s gaze, crossing a leg to expose one’s thigh, showing one’s wrist or palm, and flexing muscles

Communication styles  Power relations  Hierarchical  Power based  Direct  Expressing concepts  More frequent interruptions  Solidarity  Consensus-based  Inclusion, sharing  Indirect  Expressive feelings  Active listening MENWOMEN

 Men communicate to establish social hierarchies  Women communicate to establish support circles REPORT TALKRAPPORT TALK

Conversation Rituals OPPOSITION  boys “play fight”  playing Devil’s Advocate used NOT to challenge but rather to explore possibilities Women misinterpret oppostion as:  indication of bad idea or mistake  personal attack APOLOGY  “I’m not sorry I’m sorry” means I’m sorry that happened  NOT a personal apology  used as a transition in conversation Men misinterpret apology as:  disorganization  incompetence

Conversation Rituals MEN  use playful insults and teasing  related to the status dimension WOMEN  use compliments  related to the connection dimension

How does this play out in life?

Masterminds & Wingmen

Aggression  Men: Physical  Women: Verbal  Mixed results  Men exceed women in physical aggression expressed toward same-sex peers and are slightly more verbally aggressive than women.

How does this play the office?  Leadership assumptions

Evolutionary Psychology  Leadership is inherent in the male psyche  Has nature endowed men (more than women) with aggressive, competitive, controlling and status-seeking qualities?

Plausibility?  Lacking evidence of patriarchy in “simpler” societies calls many evolutionary psychology claims into question.

Big 5  Openness to experience  Conscientiousness  Extraversion  Agreeableness  Neuroticism

Predictors of EFFECTIVE leadership  Conscientiousness  Extraversion Male leaders could gain from more emphasis on the feminine aspects: warmth Female leaders could gain from more emphasis on the masculine aspects: assertiveness

The “Double Bind” for Women  Expectations for how an authority figure should speak is based upon men in authority.  If a woman is direct (masculine) she appears pushy or bossy.  If woman is indirect (feminine) she appears incompetent.

Queen Bee Syndrome

Study from 1974  Women who achieved success in male- dominated environments were at times likely to oppose the rise of other women.

Today  Far from nurturing the growth of younger female talent, they push aside possible competitors by chipping away at their self-confidence or undermining their professional standing.  It is a trend thick with irony: The very women who have complained for decades about unequal treatment now perpetuate many of the same problems by turning on their own.

Catty Trap

 “We are hard-pressed to think of a term comparable to ‘catfight’ that is regularly used to label conflict and competition between two men” (Sheppard & Aquino, 2013)  This perception may have actual impact on hiring/promotion of women

Quick tips MEN  Give compliments more freely  Use praise to temper criticism  Asks for another‘s opinion to make them feel included WOMEN  Be more dominant when giving orders

Giving Orders DIRECT  dictate orders  not bossy or offensive Women misinterpret direct orders as:  impoliteness  overbearing INDIRECT  use strategies not to appear bossy “could we do this…” “do you think it’s possible…” “I would do it this way…” Men misinterpret indirect approach as:  not being managerial  easier to say “NO”

 “There are two traits now that in the corporate world are the kiss of death: Intellectual arrogance and bullying” (Eagly & Carli, p. 39)

 How do we foster the proper balance of gender traits in work?

Next Week  Powerful Women Presentations! ATTENDANCE REQUIRED