Action Plan to Achieve Lifelong Success

 About others  About yourself  Examples: “She’s (He’s) so good looking, I bet she (he) is stuck up.” “I can’t do it—I don’t get it at all.” “Me? Smart? Are you kidding? No one has ever said that before.”

 Paradigm: perception about the way things are  The way you see something  Your point of view  Frame of reference  belief

 Are your paradigms of yourself helping or hindering you?  Negative paradigms can put limitations on what we can achieve  Positive paradigms can bring out the best in us  If you could envision yourself as other people (and God!!) see you, you can begin to make changes to be the best you that you can be!

 Are your paradigms of others hindering you?  Seeing things from a different point of view can help us understand why people act the way that they do  Seeing things from a different point of view can make a BIG difference in our attitude toward others  Our paradigms of others are often inaccurate, incomplete, or completely messed up Don’t be so quick to judge, label, or form rigid opinions of others (or yourself for that matter!)

 What is the driving force of your life?  What do you spend most of your time thinking about?  Who or what is my obsession?  Whatever is most important to you becomes your paradigm: Friendssports/hobbies Stuffheroes Boyfriend/girlfriendenemies Schoolself Parentswork

 Friends should NEVER become your center  Occasionally they are fickle  Now and then they are fake  Sometimes they talk behind your back  They have mood swings  They make new friends and forget you  They move  If you base your identity on having friends, being accepted, and being popular, you may be compromising your standards and changing yourself to accommodate others

 Things have no lasting value  Confidence needs to come from within  Judge things from the quality of our hearts not the quantity of things “life should not be judged by the number of breaths that we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away” “if who I am is what I have and what I have is lost, then who am I?”

 The more you center your life on someone, the more UNATTRACTIVE you become to that person  You’re no longer hard to get  You become irritating  You always need to have the “where do we stand” talks  You are always breaking up and getting back together (you can’t let go)  INDEPENDENCE is more attractive than dependence

 So obsessed with good grades that you forget the real purpose of school is learning  Education should be a top priority, however, worth is not measured by your GPA  Learning happens all the time—not just in a classroom!  You can do well in school and still maintain a healthy balance in your life

 Living to please your parents above all else can be a nightmare  Thinking things like:  What would mom and dad want me to do?  Will they be proud of me?  Will they still love me?  Will I ever be good enough?  Parents should be your greatest source of love and guidance  Respect and honor your parents—but be yourself

 Is your identity wrapped up in being a great athlete?  Is your identity wrapped up in what you do? (dance, cheerleading, baking, etc.)  Sports and hobbies are what we do for activities—NOT who we are

 Do you build your life around a movie or rock star, famous athlete, powerful politician?  What would happen if they die, do something really stupid, end up in jail?  Where are you then?  Does that person even know you exist?  Do they even care?  Admiring someone for what they do is great, but why focus your life on someone who is may or may not know you are even alive?

 Do you build your life on hate?  Hating a group, person, or idea?  Hating someone or something is all consuming and exhausting!!  Use your energy on things that are good and good for you!!

 Workaholism is usually driven by the need to have more stuff: money, cars, status, recognition  Workaholics are never satisfied with what they have  No one will ever tell you on your deathbed that you should have worked more

 Do you think that the world revolves around you?  Do you think your problems should take center stage in everyone else’s life?  Are you oblivious to those around you?  Having a healthy self-esteem is good but remember that you are NOT the center of the universe

 the REAL thing  Principles never fail  THINK ABOUT:  Gratitude/thankfulness/sharing  Forgiveness/understanding/empathy  Harmony/optimism/enthusiasm  Integrity/honesty/courage/sincerity  Love/caring/thoughtfulness/compassion  Perseverance/effort/hard work  Humility/modesty  Respect/tolerance/courtesy  Faith/trust/hope/patience

PRINCIPLES PARENT SCHOOL WORKSTUFF SPORTS/ HOBBIES FRIENDSENEMYHEROSELF BOY/GIRL FRIEND

 What principles do you live by?  Do your actions and words reflect these principles?  Does the music you listen to reflect these principles or do the lyrics contradict your principles?

 Think of a limiting paradigm you have of yourself (“I’m not outgoing”)  Think of ways you can shift that paradigm  What can you do?  What actions can you take?  Think of a limiting paradigm you have of others (“all jocks are dumb”)  Think of ways you can shift that paradigm  What can you do?  What actions can you take?

 When you have nothing to do, what is it that occupies your thoughts? (whatever is most important to you will become your paradigm or life-center)  Do you need to change your life center?  Do you need to focus more on your principles?

 When you have free time, what do you like to do?  What is your favorite subject in school?  When you’re in the magazine section of a library, bookstore, or grocery store, what type of magazine (sports, computer, fashion, etc.) will you pick up and read first?  Fill in the blank: When I’m ______________, I lose track of time and don’t want anyone or anything to disturb me  If someone asked you what your favorite interests are, what would you say?