All About Me Essay Self- Editing

 If you continually use the same word over and over to begin your sentences, your reader gets bored.  N2SITSPSWTSW! NO TWO SENTENCES IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH START WITH THE SAME WORD!

 A bad example: ◦ I am a person who lives for soccer. Soccer is a way that I exercise. Soccer makes you run constantly, so it keeps me in good shape. Soccer is also fun. I love bonding with my teammates and making memories together. Soccer also allows me to be competitive. I love to compete and win games! Soccer is a huge part of who I am.

 A bad example: ◦ I am a person who lives for soccer. Soccer is a way that I exercise. Soccer makes you run constantly, so it keeps me in good shape. Soccer is also fun. I love bonding with my teammates and making memories together. Soccer also allows me to be competitive. I love to compete and win games! Soccer is a huge part of who I am.

 Revised example: ◦ One major aspect of who I am stems from my love of soccer. The first reason I love soccer is because it makes exercise fun. Because you run constantly while playing, it keeps me in good shape. More simply, I enjoy soccer because it is fun. I love bonding with my teammates and making memories together. Soccer also allows me to be competitive. As a competitive person, I love to try my best to win games. For these reasons and more, soccer is a huge part of who I am.

 Use variety in your sentences. Remember to use compound and complex sentences, not just simple sentences! Also be sure to avoid fragments and run-on sentences. Simple sentence: I like soccer. Compound sentence: Soccer is fun and a difficult sport to master. Complex sentence: Many people find soccer an interesting sport to watch because of the constant action and quick plays. Fragment: Because soccer is exciting. Run-on: Soccer holds peoples’ attention because while playing two halves there is constant action and quick plays which make it a difficult sport to master, but I still like soccer.

 BAD EXAMPLE: ◦ I have many interests. One interest is soccer. I began playing at age 4. Have played ever since. I also really like to cook and bake. It is relaxing to do. Lastly I enjoy running. It is a way to exercise and clear my mind at the same time. These things all are things I enjoy.

 One aspect of my personality that makes me who I am is my interests. First, soccer is something that I greatly enjoy. Having played since age four, I’ve played for 9 years now and intend to play as long as possible. Cooking and baking are other activities that I enjoy. While some people find it difficult or stressful, I find that being in the kitchen is very relaxing. Lastly, I like to run. I find running to be the perfect way to exercise and clear my mind all at the same time. All of these activities are enjoyable and are part of what makes me the person I am.