USING GIFTS TO BUILD CONNECTIONS Developed by Michael Smull with Lynne Plourde Kelly, Marg Eggert, Helen Sanderson and Cindy Kernan January 2008

© The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006 Help people get better lives Not just better plans… © The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006

© The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006 Moving from Service Life to Community Life A Good Paid Life Community Life Service Life ‘Important to’ recognized Focus on connecting, building relationships and natural supports ‘Important to’ present To and for present Closest people are paid or family Few real connections Important for addressed No organized effort to address important to To and for present Active circle of support Included in community life © The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006

© The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006 Moving from Service Life to Community Life A Good Paid Life Community Life Service Life To and for present Closest people are paid or family Few real connections Important for addressed No organized effort to address important to To and for present Active circle of support Included in community life © The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006

Relationship Maps Family Person’s Name Home and other paid supports Work/Day Services/School

Use a success poster

FROM PRESENCE TO CONTRIBUTION Being Present Having a Presence Actively Participating Connecting with Others Contributing Going to the Football game Wearing Team Colours Cheering and shouting at the referee Joining the Supporters Club Setting up the team magazine

What you hear depends on what you are listening for What you are listening for will change when you really understand what the person is asking for. Understand © The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006

© The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2007 THE FIVE QUESTIONS What do we know about what is important to the focus person, what does the focus person enjoy doing? What do others like and admire about the focus person? What does the focus person, do well? How is the focus person smart? What have those who like and admire the focus person learned from the focus person, how has the focus person, contributed to their lives how has the focus person, made a difference in their lives? ? ? ? ? What © The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2007

BRAINSTORMING RULES All ideas are captured in a list The list should include the most silly and far out ideas. No editing until the list is generated Questions of clarity are expected and should also be asked of the person and a list should be generated. Don’t forget to include the person in this process. Then ask: “Given what we have learned where might (the person’s name) gifts and contributions be appreciated?”

LIKERT SCALE Not at this time Fair idea Good idea Very good idea Exceptional idea

ACTION PLAN

Timed Talk In pairs 4 minute turns for all 4 questions Listener gives good attention Thinker talks 4 minutes Swap Share ‘freshest thinking’ with the group in a round Post 1-2 of the ‘best’ ideas per question Adapted from Kline, Nancy. (1998). Time to Think: Listening to Ignite the Human Mind. Cassell Illustrated.

© The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006 4 Questions What did you learn? What will you try based on what you learned? (what will you start on right now?) What do you think you can accomplish? What will your challenges/obstacles be? © The Learning Community for Essential Lifestyle Planning, Inc. 2006

for more information go to: www.learningcommunity.us or contact: Michael Smull mwsmull@cs.com 410-626-2707 3245 Harness Creek Rd Annapolis, MD 21403