III. Style 3.1 Clear Sentences

Unclear sentences Unclear writing obscures your ideas from the reader. Unclear writing usually can’t be fixed just by changing a word or two. Rewrite the unclear sentence more simply and concretely.

Awkward sentences Awkward sentences don’t sound right. They’re often confusing and difficult to read.

Five General Strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly Write something you care about so you’re writing to be heard rather than to hide.

Five General Strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly 2. Know your audience so you know what language they’ll understand.

Five General Strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly 3. Think like a reader so you can anticipate confusion.

Five General Strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly 4. Use talk: say what you mean out loud, and write it down.

Five General Strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly 5. Get feedback from others so you know what works and what doesn’t.

Three specific strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly Balance parallel ideas by putting them in parallel grammatical form: Alyssa liked to play well and winning before a crowd. Alyssa liked to play well and to win before a crowd. Bob was shy but a creative boy. Bob was shy but creative.

Three specific strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly 2. Repair mixed construction (when you begin with one grammatical plan and then switch without warning to another): For most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percept double their risk of causing an accident. Most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percent double their risk of causing an accident.

Three specific strategies to help you write more clearly and smoothly 3. Repair misplaced, squinting, and dangling modifiers. Modifiers should be placed as near as possible to the words they modify

Misplaced Modifiers One commonly misplaced modifier is the word only: Lasers only destroy the target, leaving surrounding healthy tissue intact. Lasers destroy only the target, leaving surrounding healthy tissue intact.

Misplaced Modifiers The coach only talked to the linemen. The coach talked only to the linemen.

Misplaced Modifiers Sentences with misplaced modifiers are often confusing and sometimes humorous because of the unintended meaning: St. Patrick’s Day my dad gave a present to my mom wrapped in green. St. Patrick’s Day my dad gave a present, wrapped in green, to my mom. Alyssa found it difficult to mount the horse wearing tight jeans. Alyssa, wearing tight jeans, found it difficult to mount the horse.

Squinting Modifier A variation of the misplaced modifier is the squinting modifier, placed so that it can modify either the word before or the word after: Bob’s mother asked him every week to write to her. Bob’s mother asked him to write to her every week. Coach Iverson told the team early in the first quarter to try a surprise play. Early in the first quarter Coach Iverson told the team to try a surprise play.

Dangling Modifier A dangling modifier has no word in the sentence to modify. It is left “dangling,” and thus ends up accidentally modifying an unintended word: Sound asleep, the alarm clock was not heard. Sound asleep, I did not hear the alarm clock. Upon entering the professor’s office, a skeleton caught my attention. When I entered the professor’s office, a skeleton caught my attention.

Sample Sentences Correct the following unclear and awkward sentences: 1. Betty was popular because she spent most of her time fighting, spitting, and she swore.

One suggestion: Betty was popular because she spent most of her time fighting, spitting, and swearing.

2. My car needs an oil change, a grease job, and the carburetor should be replaced.

One suggestion: My car needs an oil change, a grease job, and a carburetor adjustment.

3. The perpetrator was six feet tall with a mustache weighing 190 pounds.

One suggestion: The perpetrator was six feet tall, weighing 190 pounds, wearing a mustache.

Opening the window to let out a huge bumblebee, the car accidentally swerved into the other lane.

One suggestion: When I opened the window to let out a huge bumblebee, the car accidentally swerved into the other lane.