Focus on “you” instead of “I” and “We” Show audience benefit or interest in the receiver Emphasize positive, pleasant facts CONSIDERATION

 You failed to enclose your check in the envelop. CONSIDERATE: The check was not enclosed. (passive voice) CONSIDERATE: The envelop we received did not have a check in it. (depersonalized)  Your contract tells you plainly that….. CONSIDERATE: I’m always happy to discuss the contract terms with new employees. (receiver as part of group)  You are completely off base your proposal. CONSIDERATE: We have differing interpretations of the utility of the proposals. (sender-oriented with acceptance of responsibility) CONSIDERATE: The proposed plan has three aspects that need clarification. (depersonalized) 20%EXCEPTIONAL SITUATION

 Merely inserting the word “you” does not ensure you-attitude as shown in this sentence: “you will be glad to know that we now have a walk-up window open 7-9 A.M. and 3-8 P.M. Every weekday.” Some readers wonder, “So what?”. The following revised sentence includes reader’s benefit: “you can now take care of your Banking needs at our new Walk-up Window. It is open with a capable teller to serve you 7-9 A.M. and 3-8 P.M. Monday through Friday.” SHOW AUDIENCE BENEFIT OR INTEREST IN THE RECEIVER

NEGATIVE-UNPLEASANTPOSITIVE- PLEASANT  It is impossible to openAs soon as your signature an account for you todaycard reaches us,we will gladly open an...  We don’t refund if the we refund when the return Returned item is soiled and item is clean and resalable. Unsalable.  When you travel on when you travel on company Company expenses, you willexpense, your approved Not receive approval for firstfare is for tourist class. Class fare. EMPHASIZE POSITIVE, PLEASANT FACTS

 Use specific facts and figures  Put action in your verbs  Choose vivid, image-building words CONCRETENESS

 VAGUE, GENERAL, INDEFINITECONCRETE, PRECISE Student GMAT scores are higher.In 1996 the GMAT scores averaged 600, by 1997,they had risen to 610.  Eastern Europe is making progressIn 1990 investments In obtaining investments.In eastern Europe were about US $30 million. Today that figure has increased by 12 %.  She is a brain.Her grade point average in 1996 was 3.9 on a 4.0 point scale. USE SPECIFIC FACTS AND FIGURES

Active voice passive voice I eat food.Food is eaten by me. I ate food.Food was eaten by me. I have eaten food.Food have been eaten by me. I am eating food.Food is being eaten by me. I had eaten food.Food had been eaten by me. I will eat food.Food will be eaten by me. PUT ACTION IN YOUR VERBS

ACTION HIDING IN A “QUIET” NOUNACTION IN VERBS  The function of this office is This office collects the collection of payments and Payments and compiles the compilation of statements. Statements.  Professor H. will give professor H. will consider the consideration to the report. Report.  The proposal has a requirement The proposal requires that …. for...  Students held the Students met in the office. meeting in the office. PUT ACTIONS IN VERBS, NOT IN NOUNS

Action Hiding in infinitiveAction in the verbs The duty of secretary is toA secretary checks and Is to check all incomingRecords all incoming mail Mail and to record it.And keeps the assignment In addition, it is his or herbook up to date Responsibility to keep. The assignment Book up to date. PUT ACTION IN VERBS, NOT IN INFINITIVES

 Your double chin will be If two chins quarrel for a removed If you use x-productsplace in your collar then as directed.X-product will help settle the argument. Only one chin will remain if x Is used as directed.  I felt very good I felt like a cool breeze blowing. CHOOSE VIVID, IMAGE-BUILDING WORDS

 Choose precise, concrete and familiar words.  Construct effective sentences and paragraphs. CLARITY

 Unfamiliar: after our perusal of pertinent data, the conclusion is that a lucrative market exists for the subject property.  Familiar. The data we studied show that your proper is profitable and in high demand.  The efficiency of hydrochloric acid is indisputable, but the corrosive residue is incompatible with the metallic permanence.  We cannot assume responsibility for the production of toxic and noxious residue with hydrochloric acid and suggest you use an alternative procedure.  Don’t use hydrochloric acid. It eats hell out of the pipes. CHOOSE PRECISE AND FAMILIAR WORDS

 Unclear. Being an excellent lawyer, I am sure you can help us.  Clear. Being an excellent lawyer. You can surely help us.  Clear. As you are an excellent lawyer, I am sure you...  Unclear. His report was about managers, broken down by age and gender.  Clear. His report focused on age and gender of managers.  Clear. His report about managers focused on...  Unclear. After planting 10,000 berry plants, the deer came into our botanist’s farm and crushed.  Clear. After our botanist had planted 10,000 berry plants, the deer came into his farm and crushed them. CONSTRUCT EFFECTIVE SENTENCES AND PARAGRAPHS

 Use the right level of language.  Check accuracy of figures, facts, and words. CORRECTNESS

More formalLess formal Participatejoin Procureget Endeavortry Ascertainfind out deemthink (believe) edificebuilding Utilizeuse Interrogatequestion USE THE RIGHT LEVEL OF LANGUAGE

SubstandardMore Acceptable Ain’tisn’t, aren’t Can’t hardlycan hardly Aim at provingaim to prove Desirous todesirous of Irregardlessregardless Stoledstolen Brungbrought Should of should have USE THE RIGHT LEVEL OF LANGUAGE

 Verify your statistical data.  Double –check you totals  Avoid guessing at laws that have an impact on you. The sender, and your message receiver. CHECK ACCURACY OF FIGURES, FACTS AND WORDS

 A, anuse a before consonants and consonant sounds or a long ‘u’ sound. Use an before vowels or a silent ‘h’.  Accept, exceptaccept is a verb and means to receive. Except is a verb or a preposition and relates to omitting or leaving out.  Anxious, eagerAnxious implies worry; eager conveys keen desire.  Between, amongBetween involves two people or two groups; among, three or more.  Biannually,Biannually means “two times a year” or Biennially“every 2 years”; biennially, “every 2 years”. WORDS THAT CONFUSE

 Continual, continuouscontinual means ”recurring regularly” (lapping ocean waves). Continuous means “without stopping”  Principal, principleprincipal, as an adjective, means ”chief main”; as a noun, it means “sum of money” or “head of a school”. Principle means “rule” or “basic truth”. WORDS THAT CONFUSE