1 Needs, Empathy and Nurturing Self (Needs Work) Nurturing Parenting Section 5.2 GOAL To understand the relationship between needs, empathy and nurturing one’s self

2 OBJECTIVES To Increase Parents’ Understanding of the Concepts of Natural and logical Consequences. To Increase Parents’ Understanding of Rewards as a Parenting Strategy. To Increase Parents’ Understanding of Punishment as a Parenting Strategy. To Increase Parents’ Ability to Implement an Effective Program of Discipline in Their Home.

3 Let’s Watch a Movie “Discipline, Rewards and Punishments” Part A

4 Provide Useable Definition for Each Concept Family Morals Family Values Family Rules Discipline

5 Definitions Family Morals – Morals constitute what people believe are right and wrong actions of behavior. Example: It’s wrong to shoplift, it’s right to pay for things. Family Values – Practices and beliefs that are valued through modeling and direct experiences. Exp.: Parents value non- violence and use alternatives to spanking.

6 Definitions (Cont.) Family Rules – Morals and values that are operationalized into a set of observable, doable behaviors. Example: Do put clean cloths in the dresser drawer, don’t leave clean clothes stacked on the chair. Discipline – Having a set of fair and reasonable standards and expectations for everyone to follow. Discipline includes moral, values, rules, cultural traditions, and expectations, and the fun and joy of being a family.

7 For Discipline to have value, consequences must follow as a means of reinforcing the standards or expectations.

8 For every action there is a reaction “If” is the child’s behavior and the “then is the parent’s response. When a child performs a behavior, a response indicates to the child to learn that the behavior was either good or bad (morals). The response to the behavior is called a “consequences”

9 The primary function of a consequences is to help the child learn right from wrong. A consequence for desirable behavior is called a “Reward”. A consequence for an undesirable behavior is called a “Punishment”. Rewards let children know their behavior is desirable and should continue. Punishments let children know their behavior is undesirable and should stop and be replaced with desirable behavior. If there is no consequence, then the child is left feeling uncertain; not knowing if the behavior was good or bad.

10 The benefit of Consequences are: They help teach children right from wrong. They help children develop a strong moral code to follow. They help children learn to make good, healthy choices. They help children feel successful in following the rules and pleasing their parents.

11 There are two kinds of consequences: natural and logical. Natural consequences happen all by them selves – there are no direct planning. Examples include: walking in the rain without an umbrella and getting wet, eating excessively and gaining weight, touching fire and getting burned.

12 Logical Consequences are planned and thought out. Some examples include: time-out for misbehavior, losing weight when dieting, increasing self-esteem when praising. Good discipline involves helping children learn right from wrong by providing non-abusive, nurturing consequences for appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

13 Let’s Watch a Movie “Discipline, Rewards and Punishments” Part B

14 Rewards A Reward is a consequence for desirable behavior. There are two types of rewards. Tangible and intangible. Tangible rewards are things. Intangible rewards are privileges and feelings.

15 What are some Tangible and Intangible rewards that you can give your child?

16 Tangible versus Intangible What are the benefits and dangers of giving children only tangible rewards such as toys, money, etc. when they do something good? What are the benefits and dangers of giving children only intangible rewards such as compliments, praise, allow to stay up late, etc. when they do something good?

17 Five Types of Rewards as Consequences for Disable Behavior Praise – words that are given to recognize a child’s good behavior. Touch – gentle touch like massages, hugs, back rubs, gently touching an arm or shoulder. Privileges – bonuses awarded for desirable behavior such as staying up past bedtime, extra playing time, etc.

18 Five Types of Rewards as Consequences for Disable Behavior (cont.) Objects – toys, stickers, paints. Allowance – a logical reward for tasks complete. The functional purpose of allowance is to teach money management, and should be used by older children.