RELATIONSHIPS “Where Lives Meet” CLOSE TIES/ COMMITMENT FAMILY TIME/ PRIORITIES COMMUNICATION FACING CRISIS SOCIAL SUPPORT APPRECIATION RESOLVING CONFLICT BODY Biological Support For Life AIR EXERCISE WATER SUNLIGHT FREEDOM NUTRITION REST MIND/SPIRIT “Inner Strength” FORGIVE- NESS HOPE NEW YOU LOVELOVE TRUST COMMAND CENTER JOY OF SERVICE W ellness I ntegrating N eeds

QUICK TO TRUST. QUICK TO JUSTIFY. QUICK TO DEFEND. SLOW TO SUSPECT - SLOW TO CONDEMN - SLOW TO OFFEND -

QUICK TO SHIELD. QUICK TO FORBEAR. SLOW TO EXPOSE - SLOW TO REPRIMAND - SLOW TO BELITTLE - QUICK TO APPRECIATE.

QUICK TO GIVE. QUICK TO HELP. QUICK TO FORGIVE. QUICK TO CONCILIATE. SLOW TO DEMAND - SLOW TO HINDER- SLOW TO RESENT - SLOW TO PROVOKE -

Communicating Love in the Family

Three Stages of Marriage

Enchantment Romantic Exciting Thrilling Perfect Fulfilled Great Expectations Infatuation Intrigued Forever Ecstasy We are one

Disillusionment Disappointed Not Perfect Problems occur "This is terrible" Irritated What happened? Hurt Burdened Resentments Trapped Pet Peeves Disappointed Not Perfect Problems occur "This is terrible" Irritated What happened? Hurt Burdened Resentments Trapped Pet Peeves Not Enough Money

Mature Love Growing Realistic Friends Disagree without being Disagreeable Thankful Comfortable We need each other A different Romance At Peace Joy Seasoned love

Research on Love

Dr. Dean Ornish “Our survival depends on the healing power of love, intimacy, and relationships. I have found that perhaps the most powerful intervention... “Our survival depends on the healing power of love, intimacy, and relationships. I have found that perhaps the most powerful intervention...

... is the healing power of love and intimacy, and the emotional and spiritual trans- formation that often result from these.”

“Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads us to healing.” LOVE -- ROOT OF WELLNESS

“ ‘Love me!’ --that is all. He goes through a million different manipulations to get somebody to love him.”

A SWEDISH STUDY 4 times the risk of dying prematurely if very lonely and isolated.

DUKE UNIVERSITY STUDY Angiograph patients--those unmarried and who did not have a close confidant-- 3 TIMES greater mortality rate

Nurturing Touch is vital for the growth of several “physiological systems”, and is indispensable for the establishment of healthy, loving relationships.

“We cannot survive, or live with any degree of comfort or mental health, when we cannot sense touch. A complete loss of the sense of touch can easily submerge us into a psychotic crisis.” Colton (1983, p. 20) IMPORTANCE OF TOUCH

Interesting Facts about Touch The skin is the largest system of the body, and its first instrument of communication.

Sick children have a greater probability of survival when they are loved and touched regularly.

Love Deprivation Little (1965) found “parental deprivation” to be associated with delinquency. Wadsworth (1976) found “emotional deprivation” to be a reliable predictor of future delinquency. Little (1965) found “parental deprivation” to be associated with delinquency. Wadsworth (1976) found “emotional deprivation” to be a reliable predictor of future delinquency.

“Minimum Daily Requirements” - How many hugs do we need?

A Love Hug that rescued a twin sister

Love is a DECISION

Love is INTENTIONAL

Love takes PLANNING

There are different kinds of LOVE ● EROS love based on the attractiveness and the desirability of the one loved, based on self interest ● EROS love based on the attractiveness and the desirability of the one loved, based on self interest

●PHILIA love --friendship

AGAPE loves in spite of the one who is loved Is a generous love Without self interest Self-sacrificing love Is a generous love Without self interest Self-sacrificing love

TRANSFORMATION “Love one another as I have loved you.”

TRANSFORMATION From a Self-Centered Love to a Self- Giving Love TRANSFORMATION From a Self-Centered Love to a Self- Giving Love

Loving the Unlovable

TRANSFORMATION From a Self-Centered Love to a Self- Giving Love TRANSFORMATION From a Self-Centered Love to a Self- Giving Love

Transformational Steps

Identify self-centered love Admit and confess self- centered love Pray that God will remove this spirit Identify self-centered love Admit and confess self- centered love Pray that God will remove this spirit

Choose self-giving love Just do it by loving acts Choose self-giving love Just do it by loving acts Ask God to show you what is the opposite of self- centered love

The 5 Love Languages Words of affirmation Time together Gifts Service Physical touch Words of affirmation Time together Gifts Service Physical touch

Homework Activity Discuss with the family which of the love languages speaks most eloquently to each of them. “I personally feel loved when... _________________________ ________________________.” Discuss with the family which of the love languages speaks most eloquently to each of them. “I personally feel loved when... _________________________ ________________________.”

Once you have loved, you can love again... A true story

Prayer Lord, teach me to Love, like You love. I cannot. It is impossible for me. But You can Love in me and through me. You lead me to know the fullness of joy and peace only as Your Divine Spirit abides in me.

Come, Divine Spirit! Fill me. Cover me. May the rich currents of Your Divine, Self-giving Love flow continually through me to all---regardless.

ApplicationApplication

ACTIVITY “I remember when I saw love in action...” Share.

 Love is Balanced  Love has limits and boundaries  Setting Goals for being a more loving person  Fill the “Love Cup”  Love is Healing  Love Intervenes  Love is Balanced  Love has limits and boundaries  Setting Goals for being a more loving person  Fill the “Love Cup”  Love is Healing  Love Intervenes Family Love Factors to Consider

“But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, self-control...” Galatians 5:22

“When the Spirit of God takes possession of the heart, it transforms the life. Sinful thoughts are put away, evil deeds are renounced;

“LOVE, humility, and peace take the place of anger, envy, and strife. Joy takes the place of sadness, and the countenance reflects the light of heaven.” Desire of Ages, p.173

Love is Unconditional

A Love Assignment Go tell someone who needs to hear the words, “I love you.”