Motivating Your Child A Parent Workshop Presented by Anne Henry & Alicia Schwenk January 31, 2008

Myths of Motivation NOTHING motivates some kids. One day my child is motivated, the next day she’s not. External rewards are great motivators. Competition is a great motivator. Punishment is an effective motivator.

The 8 Forces of Motivation Developed by educator Richard Lavoie (The Motivation Breakthrough: 6 Secrets to Turning On the Tuned-Out Child) Everybody has a unique motivational profile. Some of our motivational needs are stronger than others rating scale

Gregariousness: the need to belong Motivated by PEOPLE Happy in a crowd Puts effort in establishing/maintaining relationships *Reinforce role in family. *Encourage interaction and cooperative activities.

Autonomy: the need for independence Motivated by PROJECTS, PRESTIGE, and POWER Likes independent projects Decision-makers *Give opportunities for responsibility. *Works well on self-correcting activities.

Status: the need to be important Motivated by PRAISE, PRIZES, and POWER Self-esteem is tied to others’ opinions Extremely sensitive to criticism *Avoid embarrassment. *Celebrate child’s unique strengths/interests.

Inquisitiveness: the need to know Motivated by PROJECTS Values information. Uncomfortable if he/she feels information is kept secret. *Show child how new tasks relate to old. *Encourage child to continually reestablish goals.

Aggression: the need to assert Motivated by POWER and PRESTIGE Wants feelings/opinions to be recognized Eager to confront perceived injustice *Ask child for ideas and sometimes use his/her suggestions. *Avoid power struggles; allow choices.

Power: the need for control Motivated by PRIZES, PRESTIGE, and POWER Likes responsibility and authority. Concerned with control and influence. *Provide leadership opportunities. *Ask for input on rules and tasks.

Recognition: the need for acknowledgment Motivated by PRAISE and PRIZES Craves recognition for accomplishments This is true for many people. *Give immediate feedback. *Watch nagging or harsh criticism. *Responds to awards and public praise.

Affiliation: the need to associate Motivated by PEOPLE, PRAISE, and PRIZES Craves connection with others Gains strength from membership in group or approval from authority *Tell stories of your struggles, triumphs, etc. *Let child know that you truly enjoy his/her company.

Parents Play an Important Role in Motivation Children are influenced by the attitudes and behaviors of parents Find a balance when emphasizing learning

Learning is a Lifelong Process School is the foundation Share new things you learn each week Model lifelong learning Discuss what you would like to learn

Share Your Childhood School Experiences Subjects studied Interesting lessons Teacher expectations Classroom management Ask yourself, “What is my message?” Make a commitment to share positive experiences

Establish an Educational Atmosphere Quietly read near student during homework Education is not limited to school Discuss learning-related topics Watch an educational show Take a family field trip

Show Interest in Your Child’s Education Interest is essential component Allow children to discuss the day’s events Ask, “What was one fun activity you did today?” Be available

Show Interest in Your Child’s Work Find something positive about each paper Use negative comments sparingly Remember mistakes are common in the learning process Frame mistakes as a learning opportunity

Help Children Set Achievable Goals Encourage students to focus on continued improvement Help children critique own work Analyze strengths Work on weaknesses

Homework is Children’s Work Parents can provide a workspace Be accessible Decide if help is necessary Make a commitment to allow children to do what they are capable of doing Children lose desire to learn, if they believe they are incapable

Grades Grades generate many feelings within a family Genuine verbal praise for work is very meaningful Beware of monetary rewards

Show Respect for Children’s School Notice school events –Respond when signature is required Attend school functions & conferences –Children’s home away from home

Respect Your Child’s Teacher Make positive comments Negative comments lead to breakdown of learning process Listen if child is dissatisfied Do not agree or disagree End on a positive remark

Allow Children to Develop a Sense of Responsibility Let children experience consequences of their own actions Avoid, “Just this once won’t hurt.” Ask yourself, “Will this help my child become a responsible adult?”