WELCOME PARENTS, FAMILIES AND FRIENDS Presentation by William A. Erb Director Student Health Services Presentation by William A. Erb Director Student Health Services

Transition To and Through University  Beginning at a University is a time of transition  Transition to a university setting can be viewed as a process in which physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, social and career/occupational changes occur  There are two types of change that face young adults: Rights of Passage and Campus Passages  Beginning at a University is a time of transition  Transition to a university setting can be viewed as a process in which physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, social and career/occupational changes occur  There are two types of change that face young adults: Rights of Passage and Campus Passages

Rights of Passage  1. Leaving Home  2. Establishing Autonomy and Self-sufficiency  3. Achieving Emotional Independence  4. Handling Personal Freedom  5. Developing An Independent Value System  6. Developing Relationship Skills  7. Establishing a Personal Identity  8. Preparing to Enter the Work World  1. Leaving Home  2. Establishing Autonomy and Self-sufficiency  3. Achieving Emotional Independence  4. Handling Personal Freedom  5. Developing An Independent Value System  6. Developing Relationship Skills  7. Establishing a Personal Identity  8. Preparing to Enter the Work World

Campus Passages  1. Separating From Home  2. Competing In a New Environment  3. Managing Academic Demands  4. Adjusting To Free Time  5. Developing Healthy Social Relationships  6. Selecting A Major Field Of Study  7. Choosing A Healthy Lifestyle  1. Separating From Home  2. Competing In a New Environment  3. Managing Academic Demands  4. Adjusting To Free Time  5. Developing Healthy Social Relationships  6. Selecting A Major Field Of Study  7. Choosing A Healthy Lifestyle

Parenting 101: The fine art of Letting Go

REMEMBER THIS IS A TRANSITION FOR BOTH YOU AND YOUR CHILD

A Time of Change  Just as students move through different stages in the course of their new lives at a university, so too do families change and develop in the process  It is a natural and irreversible process.  Change can be both exciting and stressful at the same time.  Just as students move through different stages in the course of their new lives at a university, so too do families change and develop in the process  It is a natural and irreversible process.  Change can be both exciting and stressful at the same time.

Adjusting to Changes Things to realize…  You’re on a new path, too  Your child needs different things from you now  The key is keeping communication going Things to realize…  You’re on a new path, too  Your child needs different things from you now  The key is keeping communication going

What Families Might Experience  Profound Sense of Loss  Extraordinary Sense of Pride  Redefined Roles  Fear of Failure  Joy  Trepidation and Worry  Resentment  Confusion  Surprise  Profound Sense of Loss  Extraordinary Sense of Pride  Redefined Roles  Fear of Failure  Joy  Trepidation and Worry  Resentment  Confusion  Surprise

Conversations You Have to Have  Preventing sexual assault  Intimacy and self-respect  Drinking and drugs  Your expectations – academic & otherwise  Facebook and MySpace  Money  Express Unconditional love  Preventing sexual assault  Intimacy and self-respect  Drinking and drugs  Your expectations – academic & otherwise  Facebook and MySpace  Money  Express Unconditional love

MAINTAIN A SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD  Let your child make mistakes and stay calm  Listen when the complaints come  Instead of trying to fix it convey confidence in their ability  Let your child make mistakes and stay calm  Listen when the complaints come  Instead of trying to fix it convey confidence in their ability

MAINTAIN REGULAR CONTACT WITH YOUR CHILD BUT ALSO ALLOW SPACE FOR YOUR CHILD TO APPROACH YOU

AVOID “INQUISITOR” MODE QUESTIONS

BE REALISTIC AND SPECIFIC WITH YOUR CHILD ABOUT FINANCIAL ISSUES

BE REALISTIC ABOUT YOUR CHILD’S ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE

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REFRAIN FROM BURDENING YOUR CHILD WITH PROBLEMS FROM HOME OVER WHICH THEY HAVE NO CONTROL

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO USE THE RESOURCES OF THE UNIVERSITY TO SOLVE HIS/HER PROBLEMS

TRY TO AVOID MAKING MAJOR CHANGES IN THE HOME ENVIRONMENT DURING THE FIRST YEAR

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO GET INVOLVED

TRUST YOUR CHILD MAKING MISTAKES IS PART OF THE PROCESS

DO YOUR BEST TO DEVELOP AND MAINTAIN YOUR OWN SOCIAL SUPPORT

Keep On Laughing!  A sense of humor is essential  Keep problems in perspective  Use humor to defuse conflict and tension  Laugh with, not at  A sense of humor is essential  Keep problems in perspective  Use humor to defuse conflict and tension  Laugh with, not at

Remember:  These are good problems!  Seek support for yourself  Give “just enough” to your child  Keep laughing!  These are good problems!  Seek support for yourself  Give “just enough” to your child  Keep laughing!

TOP TEN WAYS TO SUPPORT YOUR STUDENT

10 Don’t let it worry you that the same person planning his or her life can’t seem to do their laundry

9 9 PRAISE ACCOMPLISHMEN TS OFTEN

8 8 ENCOURAGE SELF-RELIANCE CONSIDER CAREFULLY BEFORE DOING THINGS FOR STUDENTS THAT THEY CAN DO FOR THEMSLEVES ENCOURAGE SELF-RELIANCE CONSIDER CAREFULLY BEFORE DOING THINGS FOR STUDENTS THAT THEY CAN DO FOR THEMSLEVES

7 7 GIVE ATTENTION AND SUPPORT NOT UNSOLICITED ADVICE GIVE ATTENTION AND SUPPORT NOT UNSOLICITED ADVICE

6 6 ACCEPT THE CHOICE OF A MAJOR IT RARELY DETERMINES A CAREER ACCEPT THE CHOICE OF A MAJOR IT RARELY DETERMINES A CAREER

5 5 PROVIDE A SENSE OF CONFIDENCE IN THEIR POTENTIAL THAT DOESN’T CRUMBLE WHEN THEY DO PROVIDE A SENSE OF CONFIDENCE IN THEIR POTENTIAL THAT DOESN’T CRUMBLE WHEN THEY DO

4 4 TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT EXPLORATION AND FORMATION OF IDENTITY, INDEPENDENCE AND INTIMACY ARE AS MUCH A PART OF THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE AS BIOLOGY AND ART HISTORY TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT EXPLORATION AND FORMATION OF IDENTITY, INDEPENDENCE AND INTIMACY ARE AS MUCH A PART OF THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE AS BIOLOGY AND ART HISTORY

3 3 ALTHOUGH THEY ARE “OUT OF THE HOUSE” THEY ARE STILL PART OF THE FAMILY KEEP THEM INFORMED AND INCLUDED IN FAMILY DECISIONS AND FAMILY LIFE ALTHOUGH THEY ARE “OUT OF THE HOUSE” THEY ARE STILL PART OF THE FAMILY KEEP THEM INFORMED AND INCLUDED IN FAMILY DECISIONS AND FAMILY LIFE

2 2 KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR

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