High School Writing Lesson Using the Writing Process to Perfect Your Work This high school expository writing lesson takes 3-5 days and focuses on using the writing process to create more effective writing.

A Return to Writing Process Instruction To perfect yourself as a writer, learning to use all parts of the writing process will help you. We will practice today with a prompt.

Writing Topic Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are more harmful than they are valuable. Think about the role of networking sites in your life and the lives of others. Now write to explain to an adult in your school whether or not social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have positive or negative effects in today’s society. This is the writing prompt we will work with over the next few days.

PREWRITING: The power is in the thinking. Prewriting involves several important steps. Prewriting is necessary to generate the ideas that provide the foundation for a solid paper.

Three Steps in Prewriting Analyze the prompt Generate ideas for topics. Organize ideas into a graphic organizer or outline. Historically, we’ve just asked kids to jump to number 3 in this list. They need to follow all of these steps to develop an idea before they write. Read these out loud and emphasize their importance.

Prewriting Step One: Analyze the prompt. Step Two: Generate ideas for writing. Step Three: Organize ideas using a graphic organizer. “Let’s do step one, which is to analyze the prompt first.”

Prewriting Step One: Analyze the prompt . Purpose (P) – Determine the purpose for writing. Audience (A) – Identify to whom you are writing. Subject (S) What is the subject for writing? “Step one of the prewriting process requires you to analyze the prompt. To analyze the prompt, you want to determine the purpose for writing, the audience you want to address, and the subject you will be writing about.”

Let’s analyze our prompt. Identify purpose, audience, and subject. Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are more harmful than they are valuable. Think about the role of networking sites in your life and the lives of others. Now write to explain to an adult in your school whether or not social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have positive or negative effects in today’s society. Ask students to identify purpose, audience, and subject. Circle these elements.

Let’s analyze our prompt. Identify purpose, audience, and subject. Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are more harmful than they are valuable. Think about the role of networking sites in your life and the lives of others. Now write to explain to an adult in your school whether or not social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have positive or negative effects in today’s society. PURPOSE AUDIENCE Point out the importance of identifying the subject of the prompt, the audience, and the purpose. Knowing these three important items will help us shape our thesis statement later and to plan to write. Be sure to explain that this is an expository pormpt and not persuasive. Even though there are two sides to the idea being presented, students are not being asked to persuade an audience to accept a particular view.

Prewriting Step One: Analyze the prompt. Step Two: Generate ideas for writing. Step Three: Organize ideas using a graphic organizer. “Now let’s look at step two of the prewriting process which is to generate ideas for writing. There are many approaches to generating ideas for writing. This step occurs before the organizational step which may require using graphic organizers, tables, clusters, etc. This is simply the point where we try to generate as many ideas as possible in response to the prompt, which we have just analyzed. Let’s go back and look at the prompt that we have analyzed.”

Writing Prompt Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are more harmful than they are valuable. Think about the role of networking sites in your life and the lives of others. Now write to explain to an adult in your school whether or not social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have positive or negative effects in today’s society. Ask students to identify purpose, audience, and subject. Circle these elements.

After analyzing prompt, brainstorm ideas on back of planning sheet. Turn over your paper and brainstorm as many ideas as you can for the good and bad qualities of social networking. Putting your personal information for the public to see jeopardizes your safety On the news, there are examples of adults pretending to be kids who prey on kids who post their personal profile and contact information. \

Prewriting Step One: Analyze the prompt. Step Two: Generate ideas for writing. Step Three: Organize ideas using a graphic organizer. “Now that we have analyzed the prompt and generated ideas for writing, it is time to organize our information for writing.

Organizing Ideas for Writing Does your list have more good or bad ideas about social network? Let’s take the position that has the most evidence. As a group, let’s select three main ideas from our list that supports our claim. Now, turn your paper over and create a graphic organizer with three columns and three rows. (tic-tac-toe board) Do this on the document camera, modeling the process for students. Afterwards, ask the students if the positive or negative aspects have the most evidence. This is a crucial step because this is where we can talk about being real and writing about what they know and see. We need to move from trite, fabricated writing which does not come from them or their experience. It is a bigger challenge for those with limited experiences, but somehow we have got to tap into what they know, see, and experience.

Organize your ideas by creating a Tic-Tac-Toe Grid. Ask students to create this grid on their planning sheets.

Organizing Ideas for Writing Subject or Topic for Writing: Main point 1 Main point 2 Main point 3 Example 1 Example 1 Example 1 Example 2 Example 2 Example 2 As a whole group, do this. Remind students that doing it as a whole group first is necessary before we ask them to do it alone. Remember we are teaching them the writing process—not how to take the test. At least not yet. As the year progresses, students will be able to do the grid without the headings on them, but for now, ask them to write the headings in each box.

Subject or Topic for Writing: Negative aspects of social networking sites Your personal information can be accessed by those you do and do not know, putting you at risk. Main point 2 Main point 3 News programs like 20/20 report stories of adults who pose as kids. There was a case of a kid on FB who made arrangements to meet someone. Example 1 Example 1 Example 2 Example 2 As a whole group, do this. Remind students that doing it as a whole group first is necessary before we ask them to do it alone. Remember we are teaching them the writing process—not how to take the test. At least not yet. Cyber bullying is a problem. Kids who put up Facebook profiles that are public can be bullied by classmates.

DRAFTING

As we go through the activities today, keep your eye on the prize. The writing is focused on the topic, and its organizational pattern provides for a logical progression of ideas. Effective use of transitional devices contributes to a sense of completeness. The support is developed through ample use of specific details and examples. The writing demonstrates a mature command of language, and there is variation in sentence structure. The response generally follows the conventions of mechanics, usage, punctuation, and spelling. As we go through these activities today, keep your eyes on the prize. Many of our 3’s lack the mature command of language and the mature use of syntax. These two areas must be emphasized in our teaching of writing. Regardless if students are doing prompt writing, creative writing or writing about text, you can still use this rubric with them. Continue to emphasize those attributes to a 5 in all their writing.

Drafting: The Introduction We have analyzed the prompt, generated ideas for writing, and organized our information to help prepare to write. Now, let’s work on our introduction.

How to Write an Introduction: The Basics Start with something that provides a context that connects the prompt to the real world. Think BIG PICTURE. Make it real and interesting to your reader. Present a thesis statement or claim that expresses in clear and direct language your answer to the prompt. You may choose to outline the main points of your essay but avoid supporting details and trite listing. Ask teachers to identify purpose, audience, and subject. Circle these elements.

Let’s look at my example. Social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter are a wonderful way to connect with friends and relatives across town or across the country. Regardless, there are many negative aspects to social networking that endanger young people physically and emotionally. When students are given freedom to explore social networks, they may find themselves exposed to cyber predators, social withdrawal, and a future with no privacy. Where is the statement that connects the prompt to the real world, big picture, or a context? Which sentence answers the question? Does the author outline the points he will make in the argument? Are they written in a trite and simplistic way or do they sound like the language of a mature writer? Point out the use of the opposing views in the first sentence….a great trick of the trade. “Some people believe, but……” If you were going to give this writer feedback for revision, what would you ask him or her to change?

Now you try to create your own introduction. Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are more harmful than they are valuable. Think about the role of networking sites in your life and the lives of others. Now write to explain to an adult in your school whether or not social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have positive or negative effects in today’s society. You have seen my example. Now decide how you feel on this subject. Take the ideas we brainstormed together, take a position, identify your main points, and write an introduction of your own. While you are working on your introductions, I will move throughout the room and help you by giving feedback and answering questions. (Circulate the room and read student papers. Provide feedback to students.) AN ORIGINAL IDEA: You could require students to write about the positive aspects of socal networking, forcing them to write to the other side of the issue. You may need to remind students that this is not a persuasive prompt. Even though this is an issue with two sides, students are not being asked to persuade an audience. They are being asked to explain their view on this subject.

DRAFTING THE BODY PARAGRAPHS Now, that you have written your own introduction, let’s move on to the body paragraphs.

How to Write Body Paragraphs: The Basics Start with your main idea. What is the main point you will be discussing? Explain your evidence. Remember that your evidence should be “authentic.” This means use something you have witnessed first hand, read about, seen on television or the Internet, etc. Don’t make up information without some knowledge. Explain how your evidence supports your main idea. You must show the connection between your main idea and the evidence. Review bullet points with students.

Let’s take a look at an example of a body paragraph for our prompt. Perhaps one of the greatest dangers of social networking sites is how vulnerable a young person is to cyber predators. When you are communicating through Facebook or Twitter, your profile and your information becomes public to people you don’t know. Even though you may only let your friends have access to your information, there are many people who know how to go around those protections. I have seen on the news many cases of adults who pretend to be kids who trick children and teenagers into becoming friends with them and then setting up a place to meet. Some kids who are lost often seek out friends on Facebook and the Internet. Unfortunately, their desire to have a friend clouds their judgment and could lead to a meeting with a dangerous criminal or sick individual. Does this meet the guidelines for a strong body paragraph? What is the main idea in this paragraph? What kind of evidence does the writer use? Does he or she explain how the evidence can be effectively used? Is it authentic? What could be improved?

Let’s take a closer look at language, syntax, and transitional words in this body paragraph. Perhaps one of the greatest dangers of social networking sites is how vulnerable a young person is to cyber predators. When you are communicating through Facebook or Twitter, your profile and your information becomes public to people you don’t know. Even though you may only let your friends have access to your information, there are many people who know how to go around those protections. I have seen on the news many cases of adults who pretend to be kids who trick children and teenagers into becoming friends with them and then setting up a place to meet. Some kids are lost. They seek out friends on Facebook and the Internet. Unfortunately, their desire to have a friend clouds their judgment and could lead to a meeting with a dangerous criminal or sick individual. There are several things you can do to strengthen a body paragraph. Use mature language. I have given you a list of synonyms. What words in this paragraph are overused or ordinary? What words can we use to substitute for these overused expressions? What are the transitional words in this paragraph? Where are they located? (Remember that it is an advanced skill to use transitional words within a paragraph). Now let’s look at sentence structure. Is there any place where the writer uses short choppy sentences that could be combined? (The writer says, “Some kids are lost. They seek out friends on Facebook and the Internet. “He or she could combine the sentences, although they work the way they are. The use of the line, “Some kids are lost” by itself is effective. It makes a statement. Combining these two sentences is efficient also.

Create two body paragraphs based on the introduction you created on your own. Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are more harmful than they are valuable. Think about the role of networking sites in your life and the lives of others. Now write to explain to an adult in your school whether or not social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have positive or negative effects in today’s society. You have now seen a body paragraph. Create two body pargraphs of your own using the ideas you developed on the graphic organizer. While you are working, your teacher will move throughout the room to help anyone who needs it. If needed, use the hand out called “Ways to Elaborate in Your Writing” to give you ideas about how to build your body paragraphs effectively.

DRAFTING THE CONCLUSION You have written an introduction and two body paragraphs. In this next step, we will work on the conclusion.

Drafting the Conclusion The conclusion is one of the most difficult parts of a paper to write, and often, the least discussed. A good conclusion should revisit the original thesis. provide a statement that answers, “So what?” leave the reader thinking about the significance of the thesis. Let’s take a look at a conclusion. Point out also that a good thesis often touches the reader on an emotional level and/or looks to the future.

Let’s look at an example of a conclusion. While social networking provides opportunities to connect with friends and to learn valuable new information, the dangers far outweigh any positive characteristics. The dangerous predators that hide behind false identities, the addictive nature of social networks, and the loss of privacy brought about by ever-present cameras and computers can gradually and quickly bring about the decline of our physical and emotional well-being. The real world—a world without secrets and avatar disguises– is a much healthier place to grow up. Does this writer revisit the thesis statement? Does he or she give the “So what?” Does he or she make an impression that will stay with the audience? What does he or she do well? What does he or she need to improve? How does the writer use punctuation to create more sophisticated sentences?

Now you try to create your own thesis. A good conclusion should revisit the original thesis. provide a statement that answers, “So what?” leave the reader thinking about the significance of the writer’s claim. At your tables, create an alternative conclusion that addresses the thesis we are using today. Put on chart paper.

REVISING You have now written a complete paper with two body paragraphs. It is important to note that you could have a paper with three body paragraphs if you had three ideas to present. To improve as a writer, you must revise your paper after you have drafted it. It helps to get ideas or feedback from your teacher or another classmate before revising. We are going to practice revising today with a sample student paper on the topic you have been writing about.

Scoring Method for FCAT Writing FOCUS: The theme or unifying point is clearly established and maintained throughout. ORGANIZATION: Students demonstrate effective organization pattern and strong, well-crafted transitions that are embedded in the text. SUPPORT: Students provide elaborated examples and the relationship between supporting ideas and the topic is clear. Specific and relevant details are used, in addition to precise word choice. CONVENTIONS: Students vary sentence structure and follow basic conventions. The FCAT Writing exam for tenth grade is scored based on these four elements. Let’s read this together. We will look at these elements as we read through this draft.

Strive for the five. The writing is focused on the topic, and its organizational pattern provides for a logical progression of ideas. Effective use of transitional devices contributes to a sense of completeness. The support is developed through ample use of specific details and examples. The writing demonstrates a mature command of language, and there is variation in sentence structure. The response generally follows the conventions of mechanics, usage, punctuation, and spelling. I would like for you to strive to make a 5, at the very least. This is a description of the 5. What do you think might be the hardest part of earning a 5? (Answers will vary, but focus us the support line and the mature use of language. Tell students that they need to try to make their evidence or support authentic, which means they know about it first-hand or they have a good amount of knowledge about it. Don’t’ make up information about which you have no knowledge. It is obvious when you don’t have the knowledge on the subject. Tell students that the synonym reference guide is a great tool for helping them building mature language in their own writing. Also, remind students they need to experiment with using compound sentences, complex sentences, etc., and that you will help them learn how to build those kinds of sentences. Ask them to highlight in different colors descriptors of focus, organization, support, and conventions.

The Introduction How does the student begin his or her paper? Does he/she set up a real world or big idea context? Does the opening make you want to read on? Can you locate the thesis statement in the first paragraph? Is it clear? Can you identify his or her purpose, subject matter, and audience? How could the writer improve this introductory paragraph? Give out the sample paper that goes with the prompt in this lesson. Give the students 5-10 minutes to work in groups on addressing questions 1-4 about the introduction. If you prefer, you could ask students to do this task on their own, although they would probably enjoy working together on this task. Tell students to annotate the paper as they answer each question. Once you have given the group time to discuss, talk about it as a class. If possible, make some changes to the draft as students identify improvements.

Let’s take a look at this paragraph and provide feedback for the writer. The Internet and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter can be dangerous to young people if they are not careful, but they also offer wonderful opportunities that can open doors socially & academically. As an older person, it may appear that the Internet is a dangerous place, but if used carefully, young people can explore areas of personal interest, make valuable connections, and build networks of people for college and/or careers. I will explain how social networks do this. What approach did this writer take in his first sentence? Did he or she provide a real world context? Does it work? Note to Teacher: This student used the contrasting views approach. He presented the positive aspects of social networks first, and then presented his position on the issue. Here are some errors to address— The opening is not terrible. It does work, but you may want to talk to the student about using something more dramatic. This topic lends itself to an anecdote that invites the reader into the paper. See next slide.

The Revised Introduction Anthony couldn’t wait to escape the noisy halls of his high school campus to enter the virtual world where he was most comfortable. He was excited about getting on to the new gaming site he had found to reconnect with his new friends who understood his love of games and desire for intelligent conversation. As an older person, you may find the Internet to be a dangerous place, but if used carefully, young people like Anthony can explore areas of personal interest, make valuable connections, and build networks of people that open possibilities for college and careers. While the original introduction may have been effective, this one offers a more interesting hook– a believable story with strong language that entices the reader.

Body Paragraphs Is the topic of each body paragraph clear? How does the writer introduce the paragraph? Does he or she use creative or subtle transitions, rather than the overused first, second, finally. Is the evidence for the paragraph strong, specific, and detailed? Is it evidence for which the writer has first-hand knowledge or has seen, read, or heard in conversation or the news (authentic)? Does the writer explain how the evidence supports his/her thesis? Use the same procedure you used with the introduction in providing feedback on the body paragraph in the sample paper..

Revising the Body Paragraph As a high school students moves up into junior and senior years, social networking sites offer possibilities to establish connections with groups with similar goals. For example, while studying for my AP Language exam, I stumbled upon a Facebook page for kids in AP Lang. I was able to ask questions about subjects in the class and get ideas from other kids who were taking the class also. I could not have survived without the friends I made on that site. What does this writer do well? What parts need more work? Can you identify the main point? Does it connect with the thesis? Does the writer use strong evidence? Is it specific and detailed? Does he or she explain the relationship between the evidence and the thesis? NOTE to Teacher: The student’s main idea does connect to the thesis and he has a good example. The elaboration is week however. He needs to explain in more detail how he was able to ask questions and get answers from other kids. He needs to create a picture of this for the writer and make the strong connection.

The Revised Body Paragraph As a high school student moves up into junior and senior years, social networking sites offer possibilities to establish connections with groups with similar goals. For example, while studying for my AP Language exam, I stumbled upon a Facebook page a teacher had established for his class. I was able to actually interact with another student about an assignment my teacher gave us. Now, he and I correspond regularly about our classes, learning the best strategies from his teacher and mine. It is this kind of networking that provides academic support to students in their day-to-day lives. While your generation may discourage the Internet for making friends, this example illustrates the power of relationships built through social networking. Notice the writer is more specific in his discussion of using the Facebook page for AP students. Also, the writer addresses his audience in this paragraph.

The Conclusion Does the writer address the thesis again in a different way? Does the writer provide the “so what” in his or her conclusion? Does the writer make an impression on the reader, leaving him with an idea that lingers? What would you do to the conclusion to make it even better? Use the same procedure you used in providing feedback on the introduction and body paragraph exercise.

Revising the Conclusion So while older adults may not understand the world of social networks, there is no doubt the high school students of today have found a great resource on sites like Facebook and Twitter. These connections make it possible to expand personal areas of interest, make friends, and build networks for college and career success. This conclusion pretty much just restate the introduction differently. How can we improve it? Ask your students if the conclusion does any of the following-- Provide the “so what?” (2) Look to the future. (3) Speak to the heart.

The Revised Conclusion While your world may rely to some extent on the “Internet” or “web,” there is no doubt that the high school students of today have unearthed a world of possibilities in social networks. Our future depends on our ability to navigate the world of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, You Tube, and other social forums to build healthy relationships, explore areas of personal interest, and make connections that ensure our success in college and our careers. Notice the improvements in this paragraph. The writer is making a subtle “dig” with the use of the words, “Internet,” and “web,” terms used by adults and less so by young people. Why might he or she do this? The writer makes a worthy point in talking about how vital it is for someone to have the ability to navigate this world. It is a reality of our world, so avoiding it is not the answer. Wouldn’t this be an effective conclusion with an older audience?

Your teacher will return your drafts to you. Revising your Draft Your teacher will return your drafts to you. Read the feedback carefully from your teacher. Revise your paper and attach to your original draft. The next step of the process is to edit for conventions. Note to Teacher: At this point, you should have read and given feedback to your students on their drafts for this prompt. Ask them to make revisions like the writer did on the sample paper. You could also have students provide feedback to each other, but I would strongly recommend that you provide the feedback in this first round. There is no substitute for the expert advice you provide. At this point, students will make revisions in their four paragraph expository papers.

EDITING

Identify words in the writing that lack specificity or precision. Read the sample paper again, this time focusing on words that lack specificity. Refer to the synonyms list and substitute words for the plain words you identified. Share some of your changes with the whole class. Talk about the use of language throughout the sample paper. Are there any places where words lack specificity? Encourage students to use the synonyms handout in identifying alternatives to overused expressions and words.

Try a more sophisticated transition word for some of them. Transitions Circle the transitions in the paper. You may have transition words at the beginning of paragraphs or within them. Try a more sophisticated transition word for some of them. Read them to a classmate to see how they sound. Share with the whole class. Look at the use of transitions within this paper. Are there any places where the transitions are awkward or immature in choice? What substitutions would you make?

You will receive a paper with samples of sentences on student papers. Common Student Errors You will receive a paper with samples of sentences on student papers. The sentences require revision. We will work through the rules and corrections together. Please be supportive and do not make fun of sentences. You may find your sentences discussed in class too. For this part of the activity, use sample sentences from student papers to highlight common mistakes and establish the rules for correction. This step is optional but certainly worthwhile.

Editing Using the Proofreader’s Checklist Your teacher will give you a proofreader’s checklist. Practice using the proofreader’s checklist in class with the sample paper. After your teacher takes you through the sample paper using the teacher proofreader’s list, use the list on your own paper before turning it in. Review the bullets and give teachers time to offer ideas on using technology to simplify the process of feedback, revision, and editing.