AMTA 2011 Schools Summit Coaching Workshop David A. Kahn, MS, LPC, LPCS How to Communicate and Mentor In a Coaching Style Power Point Presentation © 2011 David A. Kahn,MS,LPC

Define Coaching/Mentor Group will define what coaching means to them. Group will define what a Mentor is. What do good Coaches/Mentors do?

Definitions Coach – one who instructs or trains; imparts skills or knowledge Mentor – a trusted counselor or guide; a wise, loyal advisor or coach.

Coaching Styles Effective Coach Focuses on Strengths Works to Build Up Weaknesses Entire Team is Important Sets Achievable Goals Follows Game Plan Uses Praise to Motivate Is Consistent Open Door Policy Lets everyone play Takes Blame for Team Failures Gives Team Credit for Wins Holds all Team Members accountable for positive and negative behavior Gives counsel Ineffective Coach Focuses on Weaknesses Weakness is not tolerated Stars get the Attention Sets Goals too High Changes Game Plan in Mid Stream Uses Criticism to Motivate Is Inconsistent Speak when Spoken too Lets Stars play Blames others for Failures Takes Credit for Wins Plays Favorites

Listening The most important skill for anyone who supervises others.

Effective Listening Attention Showing attention encourages the speaker and helps prevent the listener’s mind from wondering. It is important that the speaker experience attentiveness. Attention Skills Posture – Attentive posture is generally upright, leaning slightly forward while nodding encouragement periodically. Facial Expression – Using neutral or encouraging facial expressions will better facilitate good communication. Negative facial reactions can shut down communication quickly. Eye Contact – Steady, respectful eye contact is encouraged. Avoid staring, glaring or rolling the eyes. Sounds – Encouraging verbal responses such as “uh-huh”, “I see” or “Right” show attentiveness and encourage the speaker to continue.

Effective Listening Understanding Relating to the speaker that the listener understands what is being said helps to keep the listener on track and assures the speaker that his/her ideas are being related effectively. Understanding Skills Open-Ended Questions – Questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no” or with a short response. This type of question tends to be less intimidating than close-ended questions and encourage the speaker to share more information Paraphrasing – This is the skill of repeating back to the speaker in your own words what you heard them say. This is not the same as parroting or repeating exactly what the speaker said. It is important that the listener speaks in his/her own words which will help the speaker know if what was said was understood or allow the speaker to clarify what they meant. Paraphrasing focuses on relaying a clear understanding of the facts. Reflecting – Reflecting is a bit deeper than paraphrasing. This is when the listener reflects he/she is focused on the meaning of the information and the feelings expressed by the speaker. When reflecting the listener interprets what they think the speaker is saying and/or feeling.

Levels of Listening – -1 Unaware – Being more preoccupied with your own thoughts, feelings or activities than what the other person has to say. – 0 Avoiding – This person is aware of the messenger but does not want to hear what is being said. – 1 “No you are…” When confronted the Level 1 listener deflects the focus back onto the messenger/speaker. This often escalates negative feelings and encourages conflict while negating the possibility of positive and effective communication (genuine dialogue, understanding, or resolution). – 2 “You shouldn’t feel that way.” This listener is quick to correct any emotions expressed that make the listener feel uncomfortable. This tends to stop communication so that neither party feels understood.

Levels of Listening – 3 “Let me tell you….” This listener is listening for an opportunity to tell their own story. The “competitor” wants to “one-up” the speaker with how they did something better or how much worse of an experience they had. The “debater” wants to correct the speaker’s facts, and the “problem solver” waits for an opportunity to tell you exactly how to solve your problem. – 4 “Tell me more.” The listener at this level invites the speaker to expand or fully explain their feelings, opinions, points, and information. At this level the speaker begins to feel the listener genuinely cares and wants to understand what is being said. – 5 “What I hear you saying is…” Paraphrasing and Reflecting back what the speaker has said, especially when you include the quality and quantity of his or her feelings, makes the speaker know that they have been more fully understood. This does not mean that you necessarily agree with what they feel or said, but it does let them know you understand their point of view and encourages them to more fully listen to any feedback you have to give.

Listening Exercise:

Directions Take turns being the information giver and the listener Information giver: Think of a recent school related issue/problem and share it with the person sitting next to you. Listener: Use paraphrasing, open questions and reflecting to help the information giver.

The Art of Giving Effective Feedback Positive Feedback – Promoting behaviors that you want repeated Negative Feedback – Changing behaviors that are unproductive

The Value of Positive Feedback F.A.S.T. Frequent- Gain awareness of how often each employee needs feedback and offer it according to individual rates. Accurate – Focusing on feedback that is balanced correct and appropriate is key to making it more accurate and effective and helps to build trust. Specific – Stating exactly what your employees do right or wrong is not specific enough. Developing concrete goals and deadlines with clear guidelines help achieve the best results. Timely – Giving the feedback as close to the identified behavior will have more impact on the employee in order to increase improvements will be made.

Two Kinds of Feedback: Positive and Corrective Corrective Feedback - This feedback is necessary when employees fail to meet the performance standards. The goal of corrective feedback is to eliminate behavior that reduces effective production. The focus is also on helping the employee improve. B.E.E.R. Behavior – What is the employee doing that is not acceptable Effect – Why the behavior is unacceptable and how it hurts productivity, or bothers other employees, ect. Expectation – What you expect the employee to do or not to do to change the behavior. Result – What will happen if the employee changes (positive tone) or the consequences of this behavior continuing (negative tone).

The Four Step Coaching Model Get Agreement that a problem exists. Decide on a solution. Follow-Up Give Recognition when the problem is solved

Get Agreement that a Problem Exists Ask questions to see if person is aware of the problem. Ensure that the person understands the consequences of the problem. Get agreement from the person that a problem exists.

Decide On a Solution Ask questions to involve the person with the problem. Generate as many alternatives to the problem as possible. Help the person think through the problem. Let the person think through the problem. Agree on the solution(s) that will be implemented Agree on a timetable for implementing the sloution(s).

Follow-Up Check to see whether the solution is implemented. Determine whether the solution is implemented on schedule. Determine whether the solution is working.

Give Recognition When the Problem is Solved Give specific feedback Be sincere when you give feedback Remember that “recognition strengthens performance”.

Thank you for your attendance and participation. Please fill out a survey. Materials adapted from: Coaching for Results, Donna Berry, Charles Caldwell & Joe Fehrmann. HRD Press, Role Plays for Interpersonal Skills Training, Teresa Williams. Ameherst, Massachusetts: HRD Press, 1993 Fast Feedback, Bruce Tulgan. HRD Press, 1999.

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