Marriage Seminar Session three: What is husband’s responsibility?

Discussion  What are some of the responsibilities of husband?  What are some of the tensions husband facing today in marriage?

Ephesians 5:22-33 Husbands and wives Christ and the Church Head and body

Husband – as head To lead To love

Husband – to lead  What is it? Manager, servant  What he does? Associate Instruct Be a good example Make decision and delegate responsibilities

Husband – to love your wife  What is it? Just as husband loves himself Just as Christ loves the Church  What he does? Nourish, cherish, protect, provide, care Christ died for her. His love is unconditional, free, volitional, unending, unselfish, purposeful, sacrificial, manifested.

Common tensions today  Lead > Love  Love > Lead

Lead > love  Dominant, influential, perfectionist, critical, picky, demanding, impatient, lose temper, verbal and emotional abuse, controlling.  Impact on marriage – cold, fear, hurting, insecurity, fear of being found fault, pleasing

Love > lead  Compromise, avoid conflicts, people pleasing, timid, indecisive, no clear direction/purpose, free-style, can’t lead the family spiritually, emotional handicapped.  Impact – confusion in priority and roles, chaotic, frustrated, shattered. Wife takes on leadership role. Husband withdraws. Anger, bitter, resentment and quarrel.

Why is it so difficult? Differences  Genders  Background: Family's brought up and Culture  Personalities - DISC Heart  Sin - Pride  Idol – power and love

Idols of man  Myth – Man supposes to have taken care of everything, as expected by culture and even himself, savior mentality.  In reality, he cannot. No one can. He would feel shame and guilty, insecurity and worthless. He fears of failure and rejection.  In order to protect himself, or manipulate others, he makes power and love his idols, controlling and pleasing others, to prove himself.  Only God can give us the true security and love.

How does the gospel renew our marriage?  Not just some principles or example  Know the idols of your heart  Be transformed by the gospel  Be grace-driven  Be filled and changed by the Word of God. Bear fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Application  Having disagreements  Wife is too “dominant!” or smarter than the husband.  All her fault!  Wife: he never listen!

Application  Expressing in our verbal appreciations  Showing her that apart from Christ, she has the first place in my life Relationship comes first Sacrificing for her Unconditional forgiveness  Facing problem together  Spiritual leadership

Applications  Reflect with your spouse on your marriage and how may it be change?

Next seminar  Communication I  Date May 8, 2011