Finding your voice in the face of positive and negative criticism – or how to be assertive in a workplace environment (Conflict Management 1) … alternatively.

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Finding your voice in the face of positive and negative criticism – or how to be assertive in a workplace environment (Conflict Management 1) … alternatively …

How to be assertive without being a jerk (or a sook) Possible with practice

‘Assertiveness’ The ability to overcome one’s shyness and inhibitions so that it is possible to state clearly and positively one’s wishes or opinions Macquarie Dictionary 5 th Edition Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

‘Assertiveness’ Assumes communicating and cooperating with others respect for boundaries a desire to prevent escalation It is not aggressive behaviour submissive behaviour Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

Techniques Broken Record Repetition of request or refusal Fogging Limited truth in which to agree upon Agree in Principle Partial Agreement Negative Inquiry Requesting more specific criticism Negative Assertion Agreeing to disagree ‘I’ Statements Manuel Smith, 1975, ‘When I say No, I feel Guilty’ Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

Don’t sacrifice your health Your head in a bucket of sand leaves other things exposed… Do nothing or Do something Shrug off ‘learned helplessness’ Hope is not a part of Problem Solving Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

Know the Why Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013 What’s your motivation? What grinds your gears? What floats your boat? The 5 Whys Determines Root Cause Cause-Effect Analysis Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Source: Facebook

Know the Why Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

Know the Why Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013 Image courtesy of

The ‘How’ Who’s the Boss? Know the Business Know the Politics Public Sector Seeks surety & ‘Risk equals Threat’ Private Sector Prefer flexibility & ‘Risk equals Opportunity’ Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013 Hierarchy OrganisationMatrix Organisation Command & ControlFunctional & Specialist n -1 Management LayersOutcomes-focused Bureaucratic & PoliticalEngagement-focused

The ‘How’ Who’s the Boss? Key Points of Influence Influence ethically Mutual respect Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

The ‘How’ Accountability is Key Stay ‘On Message’ However, remain flexible in your approach You & The Line in the Sand Learn to say ‘No’ Others & Tripwires Learn to say ‘Thank You’ Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

The ‘What’ Perception is Reality ‘Like likes Like’ ‘I’ statements Personal feelings and wants without casting judgments Be Confident A smart turnout helps a smart performance Body Language High Power Pose Open Gestures Mirroring Smiling Script > Rehearse > Think > Speak Listen > Reconcile > Reflect Don’t forget to breathe Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

The ‘What’ Perception is Reality Try to catch people doing something right Blanchard and Johnson, 2004, ‘The One Minute Manager’ Objective Feedback What / So What / Now What Removes gaps, ambiguity & wonder When bounded it realigns or reinforces Be specific Event and Consequences Focus on the ‘Now What’ It is what it is  drill down, if needed Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

Summary Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013 Image courtesy of WHY Know it HOW Know your goal Respect boundaries Who do you really need to speak to? Be accountable WHAT ‘I’ Statements Body Language Objective feedback Think > Speak Listen > Reflect Breathe

How to be assertive… Call 1300 QIMOTA ( ) Visit Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013

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