Willpower 101 Making Changes that Matter Linda Mackay and Marilyn Perdue Counselling Services

What is Willpower (and where did mine go?) The ability to control our attention, emotions and impulses (desires). The ability to act in a way that furthers our goals, even when doing something else seems immediately more appealing.

Willpower: Why it Matters Research on the Benefits include: people are happier, healthier, have longer more satisfying relationships, more money, more successful careers, better able to manage stress and conflict, live longer. Self-control is a better predictor of academic success than intelligence.

The 3 Components of Willpower “I will”…. Something you have been avoiding or want to do more of (yes) “I won’t”…A habit you want to break (no) “I want”…Important life goals and things you value (to remember what you really want)

Evolution Our Willpower Wiring Our 2 minds: 1. instincts and impulses 2. impulse, self-control The Prefrontal Cortex and Awareness (doing the harder thing) Our Willpower Instinct: Pause and Plan (heart rate variability)

How to Build Willpower Muscle and Train Your Brain for Self-Control Five-Minute Meditation Breath Control The Relaxation Response Exercise and Sleep

Willpower: A Limited Resource The physiology of willpower exhaustion Stress, fatigue, poor diet, daily distractions Regular practice: build willpower reserves!

Willpower Pitfall Alerts Being “good” encourages being bad: Moral Licensing Feeling good and mistaking wanting for happiness: Dopamine

“What-the-hell” effect indulgence Indulgence Regret

Willpower experiments catch yourself (awareness) wait 10 minutes pre-commit to future self anticipate traps/triggers/trip-wires map out success path stress-relief: practice what really works! don’t hold a grudge: forgive and move on a penny of pessimism vs blind optimism

The Battle with Thoughts and Feelings “white bear” exercise avoid/run/distract/procrastinate: how’s that working? ironic rebound: give up notion of control acceptance

Willpower Experiments practice noticing your thoughts, feelings and body sensations accept thoughts as mental events, not facts surf the urge 3 part compassion practice

Your Willpower draw your own conclusions how have your thoughts about your willpower changed? what one thing caught your attention? what are you going to take with you?