Emotional Intelligence I The theory behind the movement Bob Cole American Student Assistance

What is EI  Knowing yourself  Knowing how we relate to others  Knowing how to adapt to difficult situations  Managing stress  Leading a happy, fulfilling life

Background  E.L. Thorndike – Behavior explained by reflexes  1970s Human Potential Movement  1985 Reuven Bar-On Defines EQ –“Are there factors that determine one’s ability to be effective in life?”  1995 Time Magazine – Daniel Goleman

What is Emotional Intelligence?  Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to understand their own emotions, the emotions of others, and to act appropriately using these emotions.  Emotional intelligence never stops growing. Because we are always evolving as people, EQ is something that must be nurtured.

How IQ Differs  IQ –Measure of an individual’s personal information bank –Memory, vocabulary and visual motor skills –IQ is set and peaks at age 17 –Remains constant through adulthood –Predicts only 20% of life’s success –Has little to do with life, marriage, relationship or family –High school reunion

A Brief History of Emotions  The Emotional Brain developed first  Sense of smell was original emotion  Limbic system develops allowing learning and memory  Neocortex develops as a “seat of thought” –allows for strategy and long term planning –Allows humans to have feelings about feelings

Our Two Minds  The Rational Mind –The “Thinking Mind” –Prominent in awareness –Thoughtful –Able to ponder and reflect  The Emotional Mind –Impulsive –Powerful –Illogical  Each work in relative harmony  Rational mind has “Veto” power  When passion surges the balance tips  The emotional hijacking  The amygdala

Fight or Flight Response  Visual signal goes from Retina to Thalamus and is translated into language of the brain  Message is sent to visual cortex for analysis and is assessed for response  The emotional response is is sent to the amygdala to activate emotional centers  Amygdala signals heart and blood pressure increase. Large muscles prepare for quick action.

Emotional Impulses  How your body is affected –Anger – blood flows to the hand, heart rate increases, rush of adrenaline creates pulse of energy –Fear – blood rushes to large skeletal muscles, body freezes –Surprise – lifting of eyebrows –Disgust – upper lip curls, nose wrinkles –Sadness – decline in energy and enthusiasm  Repeated impulses over time can lead to serious adverse health issues

EI Model Intrapersonal Knowing and managing yourself Interpersonal People skills – the ability to interact and get along with others Stress Management Ability to tolerate stress and control impulses Adaptability Ability to be flexible and realistic, to solve a range of problems as they arise

Intrapersonal  Self-Awareness – the ability to recognize how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way and the impact your behavior has on others  Assertiveness – the ability to clearly express your thoughts and feelings, stand your ground and defend a position  Independence – the ability to be self-directed and self- controlled, to stand on your own two feet

Intrapersonal, cont....  Self-Regard – the ability to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and to feel good about yourself despite your weaknesses  Self-Actualization – the ability to realize your potential and feel comfortable with what you achieve at work and in your personal life

Interpersonal  Empathy – the ability to understand what others might be feeling or thinking, viewing the world through another person’s eyes  Social Responsibility – the ability to be a cooperative and contributing of your social group  Interpersonal Relationships – the ability to forge and maintain relationships that are mutually beneficial and marked by give and take and a sense of emotional closeness

Adaptability  Reality Testing – the ability to see things as they actually are, rather than the way you wish or fear they might be  Flexibility – the ability to adjust your feelings, thoughts, and actions to changing conditions  Problem Solving – the ability to define problems, then move to generate and implement effective, appropriate solutions

Stress Management  Stress Tolerance – the ability to remain calm and focused, to constructively withstand adverse events and conflicting emotions without caving in  Impulse Control – the ability to resist or delay a temptation to act – Tale of the Marshmallow

EI Model Intrapersonal Knowing and managing yourself Interpersonal People skills – the ability to interact and get along with others Stress Management Ability to tolerate stress and control impulses Adaptability Ability to be flexible and realistic, to solve a range of problems as they arise General Mood

 Optimism – the ability to maintain a realistically positive attitude, particularly in the face of adversity  Happiness – the ability to feel satisfied with life, to enjoy yourself and others, and to experience zest and enthusiasm in a range of activities

EQ Value  Creativity  Stress Management  Decision Making  Relationship Building  Can be enhanced  What else is important to you?

High/Low Michael Crighton MadonnaPresident George Bush Dr. Phil Nomar Garciaparra Howard DeanMeg Ryan“Arnold” Cosmo KramerWill FerrellRosie O’Donnell Tina Turner Al SharptonSanta ClauseHugh GrantFrodo Baggins

Additional Resources  The EQ Edge, Steven J. Stein, PhD and Howard E. Book, MD: Stoddard, 2000  Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman 