Graduate Students With Families Baylor University Graduate Student Orientation August 15, 2007 Baylor University Graduate Student Orientation August 15, 2007

 Read 100 pages by tomorrow…  Have dinner with the family…  Finish that annotated bibliography…  Help get the kids to bed…  Oh, and it would be nice if you were able to go to church with the family…  And did you forget your T.A. duties? HOW DO YOU FIND THE TIME??  Read 100 pages by tomorrow…  Have dinner with the family…  Finish that annotated bibliography…  Help get the kids to bed…  Oh, and it would be nice if you were able to go to church with the family…  And did you forget your T.A. duties? HOW DO YOU FIND THE TIME??

Who am I to talk?  First and foremost - a fellow sufferer on the same journey  Grad school, version 1.0 (“Just Married!”)  Wife’s MBA  Grad School, version 2.0 (balancing work and school) Baylor (on the tenure track)  First and foremost - a fellow sufferer on the same journey  Grad school, version 1.0 (“Just Married!”)  Wife’s MBA  Grad School, version 2.0 (balancing work and school) Baylor (on the tenure track)

What Have I Learned?  #1 - Communication is Key  Lack of it can seriously affect your family  Schedule Study Times & Set Realistic Deadlines  Keep a Family Calendar  To make sure everyone’s on the same page and knows what to expect  And update it regularly!  And check it regularly, too!  #1 - Communication is Key  Lack of it can seriously affect your family  Schedule Study Times & Set Realistic Deadlines  Keep a Family Calendar  To make sure everyone’s on the same page and knows what to expect  And update it regularly!  And check it regularly, too!

 At Busy Times…  (they’re all busy times, but some are busier than others)  It’s the little things…  A note  Keep the kids in the loop, too  Give the kids a prize to work towards  At Busy Times…  (they’re all busy times, but some are busier than others)  It’s the little things…  A note  Keep the kids in the loop, too  Give the kids a prize to work towards

 During Family Times…  be present -- don’t cheat!  schedule studies around meals and kid-times (i.e., after they go to bed).  know your own level of obsession  remember your spouse’s pressures  During Family Times…  be present -- don’t cheat!  schedule studies around meals and kid-times (i.e., after they go to bed).  know your own level of obsession  remember your spouse’s pressures

Communication, #2  Expectations vs. Reality  Big area of tension in marriages  My wife’s mental arithmetic  Less time than expected  Learn to schedule your study times  Be flexible  Take advantage of times apart  Expectations vs. Reality  Big area of tension in marriages  My wife’s mental arithmetic  Less time than expected  Learn to schedule your study times  Be flexible  Take advantage of times apart

Overall  Look for the positives  You may have flexible time  allows you to have lunch with your spouse and/or kids, be available for school functions, etc.  Breaks between semesters  allows time to reconnect with family  Look for the positives  You may have flexible time  allows you to have lunch with your spouse and/or kids, be available for school functions, etc.  Breaks between semesters  allows time to reconnect with family

Some Specific Suggestions  For keeping your sanity…  each other about scheduling issues  Marriage Counseling 101; Communicate your needs clearly:  “I need …  …a break.  …more sleep.  …some quiet.  …to work.  …you to take a child someplace.  …more time with you (or as a family).  …some grace… some prayer… some help…  There is simple power in these words when spoken to a spouse  For keeping your sanity…  each other about scheduling issues  Marriage Counseling 101; Communicate your needs clearly:  “I need …  …a break.  …more sleep.  …some quiet.  …to work.  …you to take a child someplace.  …more time with you (or as a family).  …some grace… some prayer… some help…  There is simple power in these words when spoken to a spouse

Some Specific Suggestions  A date night (make a habit of it!)  (even if it’s just doing something special together at home after the kids go to bed)  Take a walk (away from work & phone)  Go to a park  don’t try this in July & August  Go out for coffee  Go to “Place 2BU” events  A date night (make a habit of it!)  (even if it’s just doing something special together at home after the kids go to bed)  Take a walk (away from work & phone)  Go to a park  don’t try this in July & August  Go out for coffee  Go to “Place 2BU” events

Family Time Suggestions  SLC (pool, climbing rock, etc.)  Pool parties!  Mayborn Museum (Discovery Center)  Cameron Park Zoo  Waco Lion’s Park/Kiddieland  Bear Habitat  Simple things:  have your spouse bring the kids over to campus for lunch at the SUB  Chick-fil-a, Ninfas, Quiznos, and more -- kids love having a choice, and you get to spend a little time together  SLC (pool, climbing rock, etc.)  Pool parties!  Mayborn Museum (Discovery Center)  Cameron Park Zoo  Waco Lion’s Park/Kiddieland  Bear Habitat  Simple things:  have your spouse bring the kids over to campus for lunch at the SUB  Chick-fil-a, Ninfas, Quiznos, and more -- kids love having a choice, and you get to spend a little time together

This is a season…  Seasons pass…  Focus on maintaining your relationship with your family  (and getting good grades, too)  Remember what’s important -- remember what will last…  Seasons pass…  Focus on maintaining your relationship with your family  (and getting good grades, too)  Remember what’s important -- remember what will last…

Your family

Also…  Remind yourself of all of this often…  I certainly have a tendency to forget!  Remind yourself of all of this often…  I certainly have a tendency to forget!