Chapter 8 Friendship: Loving with Give and Take

Section One: “The Goodness of Friendship” (Pages 143—146) 1. Did Jesus have friends? Give two examples. Yes, and among them were the family of Martha, Mary and Lazarus. He also considered his disciples his friends. 2. What characterizes friendship? How is it different from nurturing and parental love? Friendship is characterized by mutual caring between two people, usually involving loyalty, acceptance, honesty, availability, generous help and equality. Its give—and –take quality sets it apart from nurturing and parental love, which care for those who are needy with no expectation that they will love back in the same way.

3. According to Martin Buber, what is an “I—Thou” relationship, and what does it give us a glimpse of? An “I—Thou” relationship is one in which each person sees the other as an end, not as a means to an end. In other words, one person sees the other as having value and worth in him/herself, not simply because s/he is useful in bringing about some desired result. Buber saw the “I--Thou” relationships we experience with others ultimately as ways of relating to God, the eternal “Thou.”

Section A Summary: “The Goodness of Friendship” The mutual love and caring of friendship are as necessary to the human spirit as food and water are to the body. Even Jesus needed people he could be real with, people he could call his friends. The give—and—take nature of friendship makes it a strong foundation for almost all other types of love. In friendship, we see the other as having value and worth in him/herself, apart from all other considerations. This “I—Thou” way or relating allows us to encounter God in our friendships. (CCC, #374, 396, 1468, 1939, 2010.)

Section Two: “Who Are Our Friends?” (Pages 146—152) List the five qualities that can help us determine who are our true friends are. Give an example of each quality in action. 1. Bringing out the best. Friends who bring out the best in us compliment us on good decisions, even if they are not popular. 2. Loyal and honest. A loyal and honest friend indicates that we have had one drink too many and should not drive and, when we get angry, stays, persuades, and listens to our ranting and raving, and drives us home. 3. Mutual and equal relationship. Friends with a mutual, equal relationship give each other gifts without being reminded.

4. Accepting of each other 4. Accepting of each other. Friends accept each other when they overlook annoying foibles that do not hurt anyone. 5. Available and generous. An available and generous friend will take us to a job interview when our car breaks down. Section Two Summary: “Who Are Our Friends?” Our true friends are people who treat us as a “Thou” Rather than an “It.” Real friends bring out the best in each other, are loyal and honest with each other, have mutual and equal relationship, accept each other for who they truly are, and are available to and generous with each other. (

Section Two Summary: “Who Are Our Friends?” Our true friends are people who treat us as a “Thou” rather than an “It.” Real friends bring out the best in each other, are loyal and honest with each other, have a mutual and equal relationship, accept each other for who they truly are, and are available to and generous with each other.