Myths, meanings, and misuses love Myths, meanings, and misuses Suzanne Ward SOC210 Final Summer 2015

Main idea Love, according to Marriages & Families: Changes, Choices, and Constraints, is described as multifaceted, based on respect, and can be demanding. Love can also be compassionate, caring, and intimate. But in present day society, it is important to understand the various meanings, or types, of love. Having a better comprehension of the different ways love can exist can allow an individual to be a better lover, and to better express the way he or she may feel.

myths In order to gain a better understanding of love, its necessary to recognize a few common myths about love. Love is an irrational emotion that you either are “in” or not “in.” Philosopher Berit Brogaard, states “In fact, love admits of degrees: You can love a little, a lot, or not at all. Sometimes your feelings are quite rational; at others, they’re utterly irrational.” 2. There is an ideal mate for every person; just keep looking. As written in Marriages & Families: Changes, Choices, and Constraints, “We can love many people, and we can love many times.”

Meanings The Greek language recognizes at least four different ways the term love may be used agápe eros philía storgē Although it can be difficult to fully comprehend the meanings when the words are taken out of their original context and translated, a generalized understanding can be made.

agápe Agápe can be best described as the love between child and parent, or man and God. Thomas Aquinas described this type of love as “to will the good of another.” http://uploads1.wikiart.org/images/mary-cassatt/mother-and-child-3.jpg

eros Eros is understood as romantic love and is usually associated with sexual love. However, it can also describe a type of love that is sensual and intimate, though not necessarily sexual. http://francesfox.com/enecstasy-orgasm/

Philía Philía is commonly referred to as “brotherly love” and can describe a type of love that is shared between “two equals.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Théophile_Emmanuel_Duverger

storgē Storgè is not a word used often in ancient texts, but has come to describe the love between parent and child. It describes a type of love and affection that is present, even though the two may not be equals. http://www.surreyartists.co.uk/kingston-art/gallery/waiting-room-painting.htm

A few more types of love In addition to these agape, eros, and Storgē, sociologist John Lee names six other types of love. Mania Ludus Pragma

Mania According to the text, manic love is described as obsessive and jealous and goes on to say that “mania may be expressed as anxiety, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, headaches, and even suicide because of real or imagined rejection by the desired.” http://www.francescadarimini.it/pages/galleria.htm

Ludus Ludus is described in the text as playful love, which may be carefree and fun. Sexual relations in this type of love are non-committal, and have no attachment to emotions. http://www.artsunlight.com/artist-NA/N-A0022-Federico-Andreotti/N-A0022-013-flirtation.html

Pragma Pragmatic love is based on practicality and reason. In the text it is described as “rational love based on practical considerations. Indeed, it can be described as “love with a shopping list.” A pragmatic person seeks compatibility on characteristics such as background, education, religious views, occupational interests, and recreational pursuits. If one person doesn’t work out, the pragmatist moves on to search for someone else.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andreas_Vesalius

additionally In an article by Roman Krznaric, he lists Philautia, or love of the self, as an additional type of love. He goes on to quote Aristotle, who said "All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man's feelings for himself."

misuses Although these are only a few examples of the ways humans can love, they represent the idea that the seemingly simple term “love” is too often misunderstood and misused. Recognizing and understanding the variations of the idea of love can allow for happier, healthier, and more honest relationships.

References http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/26 http://www.yesmagazine.org/happiness/the-ancient-greeks-6-words- for-love-and-why-knowing-them-can-change-your-life https://books.google.com/books?id=0qoftMnQ1rAC&printsec=frontco ver&dq=four+types+of+love&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CB0Q6AEwAGoVC hMIpu6XjpmvxwIVS6GACh0y2QHN#v=onepage&q=four%20types% 20of%20love&f=false Benokraitis, N. (n.d.). Marriages & Families: Changes, Choices, and Constraints (8th ed.) http://www.apostle1.com/orthinfo/love_misuse_misinterpretation.htm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love