College Essays That Work

What should my essay be about? ► Simply, answer the prompt ► Then, write about YOU  What makes you the individual that you are (remember this writing prompt?)?  The admissions folks want to know about you as a person, not you as a robot  Our experiences, beliefs, influences, etc., are what make us who we are, SO WRITE ABOUT THEM!

Still don’t know what to write about? ► Use the stream-of-consciousness write you did in class as a starting point ► OR write about:  An article of clothing  The groups in your school and where you fit in  A family gathering or tradition  Your walk or ride to school  Your favorite things

Don’t be afraid to write about nothing ► What? ► Though the big win on the soccer pitch may be a great story to tell, it will reveal little about the person you are (except that you are an athlete, which they will know from your resume) ► If you write about this, be sure to incorporate lessons learned, flashbacks, etc., that include self-disclosure ► OR, write about something small that allows you to self- reflect ► After all, the topic of the essay isn’t the event; it’s YOU! The event is simply a vehicle to write about you.

Some Tips: ► Stand out by being yourself  You are the most interesting topic, so write about you, not about politics, sports, etc., ► Be sure to allow your personality to shine through ► Details, details  Include anecdotes, thoughts, and observations that are unique to you ► Tell a story  Use lots of nouns and verbs; tell us about the time your friend locked her keys in her car, rather than just saying she’s spacey; show, don’t tell ► Think metaphorically  Use comparisons as necessary (similes and metaphors) to make your experiences come alive

A look at “Show, Don’t Tell” ► Think of a friend and then an adjective to describe him or her (a specific adjective). Without using the word or any synonyms, write a paragraph that shows why the adjective describes the person. You’ll be forced to use anecdotes to show why, which is exactly the sort of writing that you need for a college essay.

Do show that you: ► Have a sense of humor ► Value diversity ► Embrace learning ► Notice the little things ► Are deeply committed to an activity or idea ► Can overcome adversity ► Have initiative

Do NOT show that you: ► Are cynical ► Think you are a finished product ► Are likely to turn inward in college ► Are depressed ► Are self-destructive ► Lack integrity ► Tend to blame others

Crafting the Narrative ► The MOST important sentence in your essay in the FIRST sentence  Each application gets about 10 minutes, 3 are spent on the essay, so grab the reader’s attention right away! Make her WANT to read it!  Start with: ► An anecdote ► A zinger (that grabs attention) ► A straightforward statement

The anecdote ► “Now I was standing at the front of the room, using what little artistic coordination I had to draw a great big figure on the board: yes, those had to be eyes, an L-shaped nose, wrinkled eyebrows, a gaping O for a mouth. I added little stress lines on either corner of the cheeks, just to show how intent my hastily composed figure was on examining this “Sylvan historian, who canst thus express a flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme” (Essay 3).

The Zinger ► About the pitfalls of being known as a feminist: “Sometime between waking up at the crack of dawn and fourth period I became a teenage werewolf. No, wait, I mean feminist.”

The Straightforward Statement ► “E2V2’ was my own creation and I would drive it in BattleBotsIQ 2003, a national robotics competition. I felt my body tense for the battle against the spinbot, Chromedome” (Essay 9).

And? ► Manage the flow with smooth transitions ► Conclude with a “kicker”– a final sentence that echoes the beginning or provides an unexpected twist ► EDIT, EDIT, EDIT!  Don’t underestimate your ability to make silly mistakes

Common Silly Mistakes ► Common Error: ► Calculas ► Collage ► Councilor ► Financial aide ► Honor role ► Perspective student ► Prepatory ► Psycology ► Defiantly ► Correct Form: ► Calculus ► College ► Counselor ► Financial aid ► Honor roll ► Prospective student ► Preparatory ► Psychology ► Definitely

Other things to avoid: ► Lack of a main idea ► Weak verbs ► Passive voice ► Failure to use “I” ► Double-dipping adjectives (just choose one) ► Too many simple sentences ► Wordiness ► Messed-up tenses ► Trusting the spell-check ► Unwillingness to start over

Do: ► Write about you! ► Edit repeatedly! ► Write this essay NOW!

--Real College Essays that Work by Edward B. Fiske and Bruce G. Hammond