Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of child abuse

”Tell it like it is!”  ”Tell it like it is!” is an international network of individuals working to promote accurate and socially fair descriptions of violence against children.  Our goal is to improve responses to children who are victims of violence and to encourage more decisive responses to perpetrators of violence.  ”Tell it like it is!” is a non-profit, non-political and non- religious web-based social forum to promote careful analysis and accurate descriptions of violence against children. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

”Tell it like it is!”  The rights of children are denied when the violence by adults is concealed.  Most persons who use misleading descriptions of violence against children do not intend to harm children or protect perpetrators.  Deceptive language is so common that it goes largely unnoticed.  Still, misleading descriptions (a) hide violence, (b) obscure perpetrator responsibility, (c) conceal victim responses and resistance, and (d) blame victims. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

The rights of the child  Child victims of violence and abuse have the right to legal justice and restoration of their human rights and dignity, as specified in national legislations and global agreements such as the Convention on the Rights of the Child (i.e., Articles 19 & 34-40). Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Deception is often part of the crime  Accurate descriptions are especially important in cases of violence and abuse because deception is so often a part of the crime.  Perpetrators work to conceal their crimes and use language to distort the nature and meaning of their crimes if exposed.  For example, perpetrators of rape against children often describe their actions as “sex with children”. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

The importance of language  Accurate information, including accurate descriptions of violent actions, are the best basis on which to form effective interventions: It is important to know who did what to whom, in what context.  Language can be used as a weapon, to threaten and humiliate others, and as a cloak, to obscure the facts.  Alternatively, language can be used as a tool for safety and justice, to reveal the facts as baldly as possible, to protect victims and the public, to stop perpetrators. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Mutualizing language hides the ”unilateral” violation  Rape and other forms of obscene violence are not joint or mutual actions between the adult perpetrator and the child victim.  Rather, violence against a child is “unilateral”, in that it involves one-sided actions by the adult perpetrator.  Just as bank robbery is not a “financial transaction” and car theft is not “auto sharing”, forced penetration is not “sex”, forced oral contact is not a “kiss”, and repetitive sexualized abuse of a child is not a “sexual relationship”.  Descriptions of violence against children should reflect the unilateral nature of the crimes. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Children cannot consent to sex  Consent law in several countries (e.g., Australia, Britain, Canada, Sweden and U.S.A.) says that children aged or younger cannot consent to sex in any meaningful sense.  If children cannot consent to sex, they can never be portrayed as sexual partners or as engaged in sexual activities.  However, criminal justice professionals (judges, prosecutors), human services professionals (psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, child protection workers), and the media routinely portray children as sexual partners and as engaged in sexual activity with adults. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Misleading language is harmful for children  False and misleading descriptions violate the rights of children to equal benefit and protection of the law and hinder the restoration of their human dignity.  They are harmful to child victims because they confuse violence with sex and suggest the victim participated in immoral and criminal acts.  This instils blame and shame and magnifies the distress child victims suffer.  Misleading descriptions (a) conceal violence, (b) obscure perpetrator responsibility, (c) conceal victim responses and resistance, and (d) blame and “pathologize” victims. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Top 10 terms to ban when describing violence against children Words to ban Words to use instead Why? 1 Sex with a minor Rape of a minor or Forced vaginal/anal penetration The word “sex” is wrong because children 15 and under cannot consent to sex in any meaningful sense. Sex is a mutual and consensual activity. Consent is negotiated in an ongoing manner. Without consent, there can be no sex. There can be no non- consensual sex: If there is no consent, it is assault, not sex. 2 Sexual intercourse with a child Rape of a child or Forced vaginal/anal penetration Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Top 10 terms to ban when describing violence against children Words to ban Words to use instead Why? 3 Sexual touching Sexualized grabbing of body parts There is nothing mutual or consensual or sexual about grabbing a child’s body or forcing a child to touch an adult’s body. It is not “sexual touching”. 4 Invitation to sexual touching Predatory entrapment or Coercion to commit sexualized violation The word “invitation” conceals the abuse of power by the adult, the entrapment and coercion involved. Added to the term “sexual touching”, the word “invitation” is profoundly misleading. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Top 10 terms to ban when describing violence against children Words to ban Words to use instead Why? 5 Sexual relationship with a child Repeated violation and rape of a child Rape is not a relationship. This term hides the violence and directly protects the perpetrator. 6 Sexual conduct with children Sexualized violence against children The legal terms “sexual conduct with” and “sexual touching of” children contradict consent law and recast violence against children as sex with children. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Top 10 terms to ban when describing violence against children Words to ban Words to use instead Why? 7 Child pornography Public graphic violation of a child The word “pornography” refers to sexual material. “Child pornography” cannot exist because children 15 and under cannot consent to sex. Adults who violate children are not engaging in sexual acts with children, but committing violent acts against children. Children who are forced to pose in adult sexual poses are profoundly violated. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Top 10 terms to ban when describing violence against children Words to ban Words to use instead Why? 8 Child prostitution Organized rape of children for profit Children cannot be “prostitutes” or part of “the sex trade” because the actions entailed in organized rape of children for profit has nothing to do with “sex” or with “trade”. 9 Child sex worker A child raped for profit Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Top 10 terms to ban when describing violence against children Words to ban Words to use instead Why? 10 Child sex tourismInternational child rape International child rape is referred to as “child sex tourism”. This term legitimates the rape and exploitation of children, as if it is merely a “tourist attraction”. A “tourist” might buy a tour of the city or, with equal moral impunity, a defenceless child to rape. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

What can you do? Take action! Join us on Facebook!  Go to  Once on the Facebook page, please click on “Follow” to join our initiative and get continuous updates on the progress towards more accurate descriptions of violence against children.  Click on “share” to post our initiative on your own Facebook page and spread the message to your friends.  Encourage your friends and colleagues to join in by “following” our Facebook page to improve the rights of children who have been victims of sexualized violence. Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

What can you do? Take action:  Examples of misleading language from media, police and courts, social actors and legislation. We have added suggestions on how to write more accurate descriptions. Examples of misleading language from media, police and courts, social actors and legislation  Add your own examples and suggestions on more accurate descriptions of violence against children. Add your own examples and suggestions  Write a letter/ to someone who is using inaccurate language, requesting a change of language. Write a letter/  Join our initiative and spread the message of accurate language describing violence against children! Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children

For more information:   Tell it like it is! The importance of accurate descriptions of violence against children