“All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” Four of the five skills educators (NRC, 2000) emphasize for school readiness are socio- emotional: - mastery of educational building blocks - motivation to succeed in school - ability to get along & make friends - ability to function in a group - capacity to manage emotions

In Essence Being intelligent about emotions means that we can perceive and use emotions to create optimal relationships and produce desired outcomes.

Emotional Intelligence Seen as the fundamental key to success and leadership - and it can be learned! Working with people – Not just about being nice – Managing one’s own emotions – Ability to handle encounters – Teamwork – Leadership

What is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time. It is about being honest. Emotional intelligence is not about being “ touchy-feely. ” It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of others. Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional. It is about being smart with your emotions.

Emotional intelligence It is different way of being smart It includes knowing what your feelings are and using your feelings to make good decisions in life. And it ’ s a social skill- getting along with other people, managing emotions in relationships, being able to persuade or lead others.

Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence is the ability of an individual to deal successfully with other people, to manage one ’ s self, motivate other people, understand one's own feelings and appropriately respond to the everyday environment

It involves various skills Self awareness Managing emotions. Motivation Empathy Social skills

Can it be learnt at any age The answer is yes You can upgrade your skill at any stage of your life In fact age and maturity are positively correlated with EQ Emotional intelligence skills are making us effective in life challenges and useful for everybody. Useful for everyone who want to be happy and effective in life.

“We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.” Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Working with Emotional Intelligence

In Working with Emotional Intelligence, author Daniel Goleman defines EI in the workplace as the ability of employees to recognize: Their own feelings The feelings of others What motivates them How to manage their emotions, both in themselves and in relationships with others

Remember! Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time. It is about being honest. Emotional intelligence is not about being “ touchy-feely. ” It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of others. Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional. It is about being smart with your emotions.

EQ is the distinguishing factor that help us to maintain a warm relationship or a distant contacts.

The Five Essential Competencies of Emotional Intelligence Self-Awareness Self-Regulation Self-Motivation Empathy Effective Relationships Relate to Ourselves Relate to Others

The "New Yardstick" On how we handle ourselves and each other Goes beyond intellectual ability and technical skills Focuses on personal qualities such as initiative, empathy, adaptability, persuasiveness

Simple Definition Ability to manage emotions in one’s self and in others in order to reach desired outcomes.

Goleman’s Competencies Model

4 inter-related abilities Perceiving, Using, Understanding, and Managing emotions

Understand Emotions Recognizes what events are likely to trigger different emotions Knows that emotions can combine to form complex blends of feelings Realizes that emotions can progress over time and transition from one to another Provides a rich emotional vocabulary for greater precision in describing feelings and blends of feelings

What Does “Use Emotion” Entail? The capacity to generate and feel an emotion in order to focus attention, reason, and communicate. The capacity to use emotion to influence cognitive processes such as decision making, deductive reasoning, creativity, and problem solving.

Manage Emotions Stay open to feelings Blend emotions with thinking Reflectively monitor emotions

“ If we are in a heightened state of agitation or anger we cannot make good decisions, we cannot reason well. ” Christine Casper Communication, Motivation & Management Inc.

Practicing Self-Regulation: Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional responses. Learn to “ reframe ” stressful situations into ones that are challenging. Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional “ triggers. ”

DefinitionHallmark Self Awareness The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives as well as their effects on others Self-confidence Realistic Self development Self-deprecating sense of humor Self- Regulation The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods. The propensity to suspend judgement to think before acting Trustworthiness & integrity Comfort with ambiguity Openness to change Motivation A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money or status The propensity to suspend judgement –to think before acting Strong drive to achieve Optimism, even in the face of failure Organizational commitment Empathy The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions Expertise in building and retaining talent Cross-cultural sensitivity Service to clients and customers Social Skills Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks An ability to find common group & build rapport Effectiveness in leading change Persuasiveness Expertise in building & leading teams Components of Emotional Intelligence

“If people will stop for a moment and put themselves in another person’s shoes… it will help them modify their own behavior. It will help them develop relationships with those people.” Darryl Grigg, Ed.D. Co-Developer, American Express Emotional Competence Program

"And so there's a real pay-off. The people who will become the leaders, the people who will become the star performers, are the ones who have the strengths in the key emotional intelligence abilities." Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Founder, Emotional Intelligence Services

Practicing Empathy: Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as productivity and safety. Empathy means recognizing, and responding appropriately to, the emotions of others. By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others.

How then can one improve emotional intelligence? Pay attention to self and other ’ s body language Listen more; speak less- develops empathy Get curious, not furious- Watch what you say especially when frustrated or annoyed. Reframe negative emotions into curiosity - "... this makes absolutely no sense to me" can be replaced with, "Do you see something in this that I must be missing ” Elicit pride in others – Reason for working together Remember that emotions are contagious - A dominant person's emotions (negative or positive) always influences others. Leaders should be careful to show only those emotions, which they want to see in others

Empathy