The Process of Interpersonal Communication Chapter Two: Ronald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor II, and Neil Towne 1

Who are you….really?

Communication and the Self-Concept A relatively stable set of perceptions you hold about yourself Not only your physical self but your emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values roles, etc. Self-esteem Part of your self-concept Involves evaluation of self worth

Communication and the Self-Concept People who feel good about themselves will have positive expectations about how they communicate. FIGURE 2.1 The Relationship between Self-Esteem and Communication Behavior

Communication and the Self-Concept Biology and the Self Personality Tends to be stable throughout your life To a large degree is part of our genetic makeup Biology accounts for: extroversion, shyness, assertiveness, verbal aggression and willingness to communicate.

Communication and the Self-Concept Socialization and the Self-Concept Reflected Appraisal Each of us develops a self-concept that reflects the way we believe others see us. Children are not born with a sense of identity. Positive and negative evaluations become the mirror by which we know ourselves. Anyone whose opinion you value can leave an imprint.

Communication and the Self-Concept Socialization and the Self-Concept Social Comparison Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare to others We decide if we are Superior or Inferior “Attractive or Ugly,” “Success or Failure,” “Intelligent or Stupid” These comparisons positively or negatively affect our self-concept. Social comparison can be dangerous. Reference groups play an important role.

Communication and the Self-Concept Characteristics of the Self-Concept The self-concept can be subjective. A distorted self-evaluation occurs for several reasons: Obsolete Information Distorted Feedback Emphasis on Perfection Social Expectations Self-esteem may be based on inaccurate thinking.

Communication and the Self-Concept Characteristics of the Self-Concept Cognitive Conservatism The tendency to seek and attend information that conforms with an existing self-concept. The self-concept is resistant to change. Inaccurate self-concepts can lead to self-delusion and lack of growth. Inaccuracies are hard to maintain and lead to defensiveness. Communicators are reluctant to downgrade a favorable image.

Communication and the Self-Concept Culture, Gender and Identity Culture Individualistic vs. Collectivistic Self-concept is influenced by culture. Different culturally influenced self-concepts can clash. In collective societies, there tends to be a higher degree of communication.

Communication and the Self-Concept Culture, Gender and Identity Sex and gender Being male or female shapes the way people communicate with you. Pronouns with gender Boys - focus is on size, strength and activity Girls - focus is on beauty and sweetness What happens when they switch? Self-esteem is influenced by gender.

Communication and the Self-Concept The Self-fulfilling Prophecy The self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when a person’s expectation of an event, and their subsequent behavior based on those expectations, make the event more likely to occur. The Four Stages Holding an expectation Behaving in accordance with that expectation The expectation coming to pass Reinforcing the original expectation

Communication and the Self-Concept Types of Self-fulfilling Prophecies Self-imposed prophecies Your own expectations influence your behavior. Thinking that you will fail “I’m going to screw this up.” or “It’s not going to work.” Prophecies imposed by others Others’ expectations influence your behavior. All opinions you value can cause this prophecy. Pygmalion in the Classroom

Communication and the Self-Concept Changing your Self-concept Have a realistic perception of yourself. Have realistic expectations. Have the will to change. Have the skill to change.

Communication as Identity Management Public and Private Selves Identity Management Each of us has a multitude of identities. Perceived Self (private self) A reflection of the self-concept Presenting Self (public self) The way we want others to view us

Communication as Identity Management Characteristics of Identity Management We strive to create multiple identities: “Helping friend,” “joking office mate,” “loving child” Identity Management Can be deliberate or unconscious Is collaborative Varies by situation People differ in their degree of identity management.

Communication as Identity Management Why we Manage Identities To start and manage relationships You may appear charming or confident even if you’re not. To gain compliance of others How do you dress when you go to work or to traffic court? To save other’s face You mask your discomfort to save another’s feelings.

Communication as Identity Management How do we Manage Identities Face-to-face impression management Manner consists of words and non-verbal actions. Doctors will change their impression management depending on which part of the examination they may be doing. Appearance shapes impression: Clothing, Tattoos, Jewelry, etc. Setting also influences how others may view us.

Communication as Identity Management Computer-Mediated Communication (CMC) Slight limitations over other communication channels More control over managing your identity CMC also gives individuals the ability to broadcast their identity in a way traditional communication can’t: MySpace, FaceBook and Friendster

Communication as Identity Management Identity Management and Honesty Some manage identity dishonestly: Misrepresenting yourself to date Job applicants who lie about academic records Salespeople who pretend to be dedicated to customer service Managing identity does not make you a liar. Although seemingly manipulative, it is authentic communication. Can you imagine not managing your identities?

Communication and Identity: Creating and Presenting the Self Chapter Summary Communication and the Self-Concept Biological and Social Roots of the Self Characteristics of the Self-Concept Influences on Identity Presenting the Self Public and Private Characteristics of Identity Management

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