Examining Your “Stories”

State Standard Understand conditions, actions, and motivations that contribute to conflict or Understand conditions, actions, and motivations that contribute to conflict or to cooperation. to cooperation.

Identify how you feel. This requires honesty and a good vocabulary. Identify how you feel. This requires honesty and a good vocabulary. Don’t confuse stories with facts. Ask “Can I see or hear the thing I identify as fact?” Don’t confuse stories with facts. Ask “Can I see or hear the thing I identify as fact?”

Most Common Stories: Most Common Stories: 1. Victim Story: The other person is bad. I did nothing wrong. 2. Villain Story: Demonizes the other person. Overlooks their human-ness.

3. Helpless Story: We convince ourselves that there is nothing we can do due to the other person’s weakness.

Most Common Stories Most Common Stories 1. Victim Story: The other person is bad. I did nothing wrong. 2. Villain Story: Demonizes the other person. Overlooks their human-ness. 3. Helpless Story: We convince ourselves that there is nothing we can do due to the other person’s weakness.

Why We Tell Stories: Why We Tell Stories: 1. They match reality. 2. They get us off the hook. 3. They keep us from acknowledging a sell-out. acknowledging a sell-out. 4. We carry our emotions over from other situations.

Mastering Our Stories: Mastering Our Stories: 1. Turn victims into actors. 2. Turn villains into humans. 3. Turn the helpless into the able. 4. Live in the present.

Roleplay Amy is in an abusive relationship. Her best friend chooses to confront her about it. Examine the crucial conversation for stories that Amy may tell herself.

Roleplay An 18 year-old tells his parents he wants to move out.

Roleplay A boyfriend and girlfriend will break up at the end of senior year because he is going to move off to college.