Dating and Marriage Teen Living

Starting Out Improve your interpersonal skills Making conversation Understand yourself Discover characteristics you want Know your values Family Rules Curfew Where and with whom you can go

Going out as a Group Movies Football game Sports activities Other group date activities?

Going out as a couple Practice relating one-on-one Does not need to mean you cannot date others, too Exclusive dating Get to know one person well Security Don’t let concern about not having boy/girlfriend keep you with someone just because they are familiar If you find things you don’t like about that person, don’t look to change them, look for someone that suits you better

Family Rules Only group dating No exclusive (steady) dating Can lose sight of long-term goals Cultural or religious beliefs influence Where you can go Concerns about Drugs Alcohol Unsafe driving Peer pressure

Responsible Relationships Personal Responsibility Stay true to your personal values You, your family, culture, religion, long-term and short- term goals determine what those are Respect the personal values of the one you are dating Communication Who pays, where you go, how to get there and back Deference to their rules Their curfew is your responsibility, too

Risks of Sexual Activity Unintended pregnancy STD’s Do not let you feelings control your actions Think ahead, remember long-term goals college Good job Travel Enjoying life as a young adult, unencumbered

Abstinence Refuse to engage in high-risk behavior Reinforce your decision Join abstinence campaign Some teens more willing to act on most intimate level, but won’t talk about it because it is too embarrassing! Willingness to communicate is high level of maturity Group and public dating can help REMAIN IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND BECOME THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BE

Resisting Sexual Pressure Keep a firm sense of who you are State your position Do not apologize or try to justify Avoid mixed messages Body language must match words Keep your values and long-term goals in mind Respect yourself. If someone won’t accept no, leave. Call for a ride if you need to. This person does not and will not respect you or your personal boundaries!

Handling Emotions Crushes and Infatuation Usually idealistic and unrealistic Jealousy Intense, prolonged jealousy is destructive to a relationship Sign of insecurity

Breaking up Most teen relationships end Can be painful Make a clean break Explain why Be firm but fair Be sensitive to the other person’s feelings~ you may have been thinking about this for a while, but it could be a surprise to the other person involved Don’t try to hang on to someone that wants to break up with you Clinging to a partner that doesn’t want to remain in the relationship is unhealthy Avoid saying hateful or negative things about the other person no matter which of you ended the relationship Give yourself time to recover Reflect on why that relationship ended and what qualities you will look for the next time

Love and Commitment How do you know it is love? Based on caring and trust Giving as well as receiving Mutual interests Desire to work together toward common goals Takes time to get to know another person

Engagement Lots of decisions to be made Where to live? What will your daily life together be like? Household tasks and finances? Continue education? Careers? Children? How to raise them Religion Family holidays

Marriage Many people spend more time planning the wedding than they do thinking about the marriage and the compromises they will need to make.

Marriage Laws Every state has its own laws governing marriage Property rights Protection for the children Legalize couple’s agreement Mutual consent: both parties must agree Monogamy: one spouse at a time Age: 18 (younger with parental consent) See list from desktop Physical requirements: blood test (no communicable diseases) Waiting period: 1 to 5 days (may be before or after issued) License: all states require Officials: clergy, civil authorities (judges, justice of peace, notary) Prohibitions: close blood relatives, brother or sister, aunt and nephew, uncle and niece, 1 st or 2 nd cousins depending on the state Annulment: if legal requirements were not met it as if marriage never happened

Strong Marriage Communication Discuss issues Make decisions together Share responsibilities Resolve conflicts Committed to make marriage work

Why Marriages Fail People who don’t take the commitment seriously Unrealistic expectations People change or no longer have same value system Money Get married before they are ready for the responsibilities

Teen Marriage Marriage challenge for adults Pressure increased with teen pregnancy Delaying marriage Education Career Time to know yourself

Remaining Single Independence Freedom Focus on: Career Travel Community service Marriage is a choice, not an obligation

What are you looking for? List from most to least important characteristics you are looking for in a girl/boy friend. Minimum of 10 List from greatest to least characteristics you have to offer. Minimum of 10 What would be the most challenging thing about you with which some one would need to deal.

Qualities Communication skills Shared values Mutual respect Common interests Agreement on issues regarding children Conflict resolution skills More…