Comm. in Personal Relationships 1 Communication in Personal Relationships Imagine that suddenly you have no close friends and no romantic partner…….

Comm. in Personal Relationships 2 Understanding Personal Relationships A Voluntary commitment between irreplaceable individuals who are influenced by rules, relationship dialectics, and surrounding contexts. Features of personal relationships Uniqueness Commitment Relationship rules Embeddedness in contexts Relationship Dialectics

Comm. in Personal Relationships 3 Features of Personal Relationships Uniqueness Social relationship vs. Personal relationship Connection defined by particular people and what they create Commitment A decision to remain with relationship, intention to share with the future Passion, Investment

Comm. in Personal Relationships 4 Features of Personal Relationships Relationship Rules Guiding communication and interaction Constitutive rules: Meanings in various communication Regulative rules: When and with whom specified & “shalt not” in marriage, religious groups

Comm. in Personal Relationships 5 Features of Personal Relationships Embeddednes in contexts (social) Surroundings influence interactions Social norms in groups Particular others & generalized others Approval and disapproval Increasing cultural diversity

Comm. in Personal Relationships 6 Features of Personal Relationships Relationship dialectics: Opposing vs. Continuous tensions Autonomy / Connection Wanting to be separated and connected Novelty / Predictability Wanting routines and novelty Openness/ Closedness Desires to be open and to maintain privacy

Comm. in Personal Relationships 7 Four Ways to Deal with Dialectical Tensions Neutralization Negotiating a balance Separation Favoring one and ignoring the other Segmentation Assigning spheres Reframing Redefining contradictions

Comm. in Personal Relationships 8 Evolutionary Course of Friendship (6 stages) Role-limited interaction Friendly relations Common ground and interest Moving toward friendship Stepping beyond social roles Nascent friendship Increased involvement and caring Stabilized friendship Shared assumption of continuity & Trust Waning friendship Ceased being committed

Comm. in Personal Relationships 9 Evolutionary Course of Romantic Relationship (3 phases) Escalating Typically six stages Navigating Ongoing process of communication to sustain intimacy over time Deteriorating Intimacy weakens, dissatisfaction mounts

Comm. in Personal Relationships 10 Escalating (6 stages) Individuals not interacting Invitational communication Proximity & Similarity Exploratory communication Intensifying communication Involves idealized (more than real; euphoria), personalized communication (private codes)

Comm. in Personal Relationships 11 Escalating Revising communication Coming down to talk about strengths, problems, the future Negotiation, even conflicts Commitment Decision to stay with a relationship permanently

Comm. in Personal Relationships 12 Navigating Dynamic (not stable), thru new problems Relationship culture: The nucleus Rules, understandings, patterns… Usually unspoken

Comm. in Personal Relationships 13 Deteriorating (5 phases) Dyadic breakdown Degeneration of relationship culture Gender differences (p. 202) Intrapsychic phase Brooding about problems, thinking about alternatives Dyadic phase Not always occur, tends to involve conflict Avoiding taking about problems

Comm. in Personal Relationships 14 Deteriorating Social phase How to explain breakup Seeking social support Grave dressing Burying the relationship, accepting its end

Comm. in Personal Relationships 15 Styles of Loving (p. 201) Eros 激情 ; 強烈 Storge 知己 ; 益友 Ludus 遊嬉 ; 挑戰 Mania 狂熱 ; 極端 Agape 無我無私 Pragma 務實 ; 理性

Comm. in Personal Relationships 16 Challenges in Personal Relationship Dealing with distance Lack of daily communication Unrealistic expectation for time together Managing dual-career relationship Lack of equity Women with more psychological responsibilities Resisting violence and abuse between intimates Violence seldom stops without intervention Predictable cycle (p. 208) Negotiating safer sex More difficult to talk about sex than to engage in it Under influence of alcohol or drugs