Opinion Essay Exemplars 7 th Grade LaCA

A.) Led zeplin ACDC Van Halen Mettalica all of these bands and more are apart of music. And I’m a person who cant live without his tunes. Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar

B.) Huff, puff, huff, huff, huff, hauaahahhh…Gotta stick with them, they’ll make me better. C’mon! Push it! Keep going! OR…I’ll just hang back with the other kids and stick with them. Easy. I’m not even trying hard but I’m staying with my middle school buddies. So what would you rather do? Get better doing athletics at a high school with the older kids or just stay the same and hang back with your middle school homies. As of now, most kids can’t usually go practice athletics at the high schools. It is rare to get to do that. I think that middle school students should be able to practice with high schoolers at the high school. I think this because we would get better, they have better equipment, and you will get to know your future coaches and players. Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar

Score = 1 Explanation: The writer creates a confusing introduction with the rambling attention getter and does not reveal the thesis of the essay until the third paragraph of the actual essay. There is no preview of main points. There are also many grammatical errors which are distracting. Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar Grade & Explanation—A

Score = 4 Explanation: The writer uses an effective attention getter that smoothly transitions to relevant context and background information. This sets up the thesis and engages the reader. The thesis states the writer’s opinion and previews three strong points that would be logical and convincing for readers. Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar Grade & Explanation—B

A.) I think we should be allowed to work with high schoolers in athletics because they will challenge middle schoolers to work harder and we can get better. For example, when I play football with my little brothers, they get better. Because they are both a lot younger than me, they challenge themselves to be like me. They want to stick up with me. So they work harder to keep up and this makes them better. Secondly, when I played on my older brother’s basketball team, a very similar situation occurred. He was one year older and I was challenged to work harder and play like the older kids. It was very hard, but I got a lot better at basketball after that. If we could go work with high schoolers, this could happen. My last example is, when I played midget football for Assurity D. We would scrimmage the better and older C team. My team would get tougher and better after that. I think this kind of thing would happen if we could work out at the high school. Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph Exemplar

B.) First of all, gums makes kids happier because they don’t have to sit around bored at school. They also just like to chew gum because they can blow bubbles when they get bored. But, it doesn’t just make kids happy, it makes them focus better. Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph Exemplar

Score = 3+/4 Explanation: The support for the each point is compelling, clear, and contains three well-developed pieces of evidence with explanations. The writer uses personal examples to lead the reader to a deeper understanding through analysis of situations and relationships. His explanation of these events/examples illustrates his reasoning and makes the argument more convincing. Sentences are varied and reflect some sophistication (the writer’s strong voice and fluency of ideas engage the reader throughout). Transitions are smooth and effective and are used to connect paragraphs as well as the ideas within them. Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph Exemplar Grade & Explanation—A

Score = 2 Explanation: Support for the writer’s opinion is implausible. The writer uses a list of claims which result in faulty logic and overgeneralizations (gum makes kids happier so they don’t have to sit around bored at school). The support also lacks good reasoning/logic (They also just like to chew gum because they can blow bubbles when they get bored and it helps kids focus better). Transitions are present, but they are quite predictable and inconsistent. Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph Exemplar Grade & Explanation—B

A.) I would like to be able to go to high schools to practice athletics with the high schoolers. I think this because when you work with someone who is older and better than you, you get better at the sport you are participating in. Secondly, high schools have better equipment that is more up to date then the middle schools. And lastly when you work at high schools you can get to know your future high school teammates and coaches. So remember when you had the choice of huffing and puffing, but still getting better and getting really good at your sport, or just taking it easy and staying the same. Well I would choose the huffing and puffing way. Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar

B.) That’s why I whote this essay music is my life. I play electric guitar and I started because I grew up listening to music. I grew up listening to rock and I will never listen to rap that’s me others mite be yhe other way around so that’s my essay. Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar

Score = 3+/4 Explanation: Sentences are varied and reflect some sophistication (the writer’s strong voice and fluency of ideas engage the reader throughout). Transitions are smooth and effective and are used to connect paragraphs as well as the ideas within them. The conclusion ties up the essay by reviewing the main points, restating the thesis in a different manner and providing a graceful return to the attention getter. Needs to remove reference to “I” and make this wording more inclusive for readers. Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar Grade & Explanation—A

Score = 1 Explanation: There are many digressions that confuse the reader (I play electric guitar and I started because I grew up listening to music). Sentences are often awkward and transitions are mostly missing. The final paragraph restates the opinion, but does not review the main points/reasons or provide a clincher. Frequent errors create confusion. Needs less references to “I” or related words and to make this wording more inclusive for readers. Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar Grade & Explanation—B